Taking it up the azz, and paying for it.

Dave Barry writes some funny crap about his colonoscopy...... Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

You are very good ... ma'am...

So did you ask them for a replay so you could watch the snake do it's work? Originally Posted by gearslut

They gave me a packet with a few pics, but looking at that is like looking at the electric wiring diagrams for the space shuttle. I don't really know what I am looking at. The did put a pic of the polyp, but there is no context such as how to determine how big it is, etc.

I'm like you D_J. I've had an IV but I've never been put under or totally dependent(the closest thing was NO2 for wisdom teeth extraction) so that type of procedure or any kind of hospital visit gets the anxiety meter on full alert.
I'm also nervous about what I might say!
Originally Posted by boardman

Yea, I was really anxious and knew I would be. That's why I would only schedule when I could be first exam of the day. I was sitting on the side of the bed and felt the 'fight or flight' syndrome was fixing to kick in, so I ask to be taken off the monitors and allowed to rest room visit. When I came back from the rest room, I saw the doctor (I am sure he was told I was very anxious) and said, "let the party begin". They hooked me back up, put the meds in the IV and the anxiety went away. For me, that was the worst time, but then again, I am the same on a plane. When on a plane, I just want to get in the air. But this anxiety (almost panic) may just be me, which is why I really didn't mention it earlier.

About what I might say is a funny one. My wife told me I stated that corny joke about gerbil tracks in the colon, plus another about 'going where no man has gone before', and something about not kissing a girl who has been 'down there'. I don't remember shit, and she isn't the type to make that sort of stuff up.

The did put a pic of the polyp, but there is no context such as how to determine how big it is, etc. Originally Posted by DEAR_JOHN

What...They didn't stick a ruler up your ass for perspective? Fucking doctors nowadays!!!

Dave Barry writes some funny crap about his colonoscopy. Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/1...-my-colon.html

Forget everything about the MoviPrep and I didn't have an anesthesiologist.

You won't get credit for your review without contact info... I'm calling it. Quack!

I have a funny story about when I got a vasectomy ... should I post it here or start a new thread...

I have a funny story about when I got a vasectomy ... should I post it here or start a new thread... Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas

Hopefully it will be a new thread. Please don't hijack this one.

Maybe it should be called, "Had my balls handed to me and paid for it."

Hopefully it will be a new thread. Please don't hijack this one.

Maybe it should be called, "Had my balls handed to me and paid for it." Originally Posted by DEAR_JOHN

Wow... a batch of new threads cool... anyone got a great story to tell about the last time you got treatment for a STD... start a thread... at least it will be better than another hooktard cat fight...

Good review DJ but no credit you didn't put down the $$$.

Are you sure you didn't have an anesthesiologist? I didn't remember mine until I received his bill.

Anyway this surgery is tame compared to the circumcision I had when I was 30. Had to abstain from sexual activity and sexual thoughts for a month. Morning wood was painful albeit effective instant wake-up call.

That's the best part! Have your driver take you out for lunch and drinks before going home to veg out all day. Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

That is TERRIBLE advice.

When I had my colonoscopy, they put me out with demerol and versed. You add alcohol to that mix and that could kill somebody. I'm thinking Michael Jackson here.

Your ex may have handled it, but we all have a different tolerance for that sort of thing.

Of course you can ask.

Per my doctor instruction sheet given to me before the test. "You will be sedated. You MUST have someone drive you home. You should also have someone with you 4-6 hours after you are home. Family members or driver will need to stay at the clinic until you are discharged home. The physician will need to speak with them after your procedure."

They also had me sign a sheet about this statement and also had more written instructions about not making major decisions, driving, or drinking alcohol the same day. Originally Posted by DEAR_JOHN

Just to echo this point. I was someone's driver for this experience and he was a bit out of it for awhile after being given the ok to leave. So, play it safe and have a designated driver.

What...They didn't stick a ruler up your ass for perspective? Fucking doctors nowadays!!! Originally Posted by boardman

Just compare the polyp to gerbil tracks for a reference point.

Are you sure you didn't have an anesthesiologist? I didn't remember mine until I received his bill.

Anyway this surgery is tame compared to the circumcision I had when I was 30. Had to abstain from sexual activity and sexual thoughts for a month. Morning wood was painful albeit effective instant wake-up call. Originally Posted by ric

Only one doctor, just the one who did the test.

Damn, circumcision at 30? That's worse than my dad, who woke up from the removal of the appendix and found something else hurting besides his lower stomach. He was 14 when that happened.

Thanks, you'll never know how many you really helped by sharing your experience. thanks again.

I opened this expecting a very different topic....

I did the same about a year ago. I don't know if I had any odd conversations.

Great description of the experience.