Ladies two part question, how many are also models, talent, and do you find it hard to hard a real relationship

RedLeg505's Avatar
As for the second... my husband was the one who initially suggested providing as an option, and I think he really enjoys the idea of me keeping company with strangers. (We'd already been swingers.) So I'm pretty lucky on that count, I think. Originally Posted by Lucyny
Hopefully this isn't taking the thread too far off topic but I had always wondered about the swingers and those who like the idea of their SO "keeping company with strangers" as I didn't "get" what the thrill was.

Having now been with an ATF provider that I truly enjoy spending time with and having seen her "members only" page with pics and vids of her with others, including her SO, I discovered the thrill of seeing a woman you've been intimate with, being intimate with others, when there's no jealousy or possessiveness or hang ups about "ownership". I can now see how a guy in a strong, stable relationship without the jealousy/"she's mine" hang ups can achieve a very intense thrill knowing she's with others.

So as usual, the Hobby community is helping me learn more.. about myself and others. Here's hoping other providers can find an SO to have such a relationship with, if they wish.
dreamvacationdates's Avatar
Big difference between a woman you been intimate with and a women you're in a relationship with. I'm not sure if many swinger would be ok with their SO being in this business, I think the dynamics are alot different.
but yeah you're right it is off topic
pyramider's Avatar
Relationships are just a crap shoot, hobby or real life.
I have had ladies tell me that they wouldn't date a guy who was ok with them being a provider, in reality they wanted to stop and be with one guy, they considered guys that were ok with it as weak. Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates
But I wouldn't go so far as to say he's weak. The same could be said of the woman who seeks a man to help them stop being a provider.

When I'm done being a provider, it'll be on my own terms. And when I meet that man who has to be TWICE the man I am () to begin with, I would hope that I could tell him about this life, and it not change how he views me.

You guys are such sensitive souls. You meet the woman of your dreams, and the moment that she mentions she's sold a li'l ass you get pissy.

We're supposed to accept the fact that you've cheated on your ex with her sister AND her mama, paid for pussy and screwed the ho in your marital bed, and love your dirty drawers. AND believe that you're not going to do the same to us.
Where's the equality in that?
Big difference between a woman you been intimate with and a women you're in a relationship with. I'm not sure if many swinger would be ok with their SO being in this business, I think the dynamics are alot different.
but yeah you're right it is off topic Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates

Yes they would. This is just paid swinging. I know several couples who have made this work for YEARS. Swingers have a general understanding about the emotional aspect behind providing, and yielding to the physical nature in general. Sex doesn't have to equal love.

And we are more than just 'this profession'. This isn't a profession for me. I'm a Companion LAST.
dreamvacationdates's Avatar
Yes they would. This is just paid swinging. I know several couples who have made this work for YEARS. Swingers have a general understanding about the emotional aspect behind providing, and yielding to the physical nature in general. Sex doesn't have to equal love.

And we are more than just 'this profession'. This isn't a profession for me. I'm a Companion LAST. Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
Of course sex doesn't equal love, been a whole lot of women I had sex with and didn't care what they did, or what happen to them at all, there been women I loved and cared about them and what happen to them but it wasn't about the sex.
I known quite a few swinger couple that were ok with the providing aspect as long as the guy was getting his share in, once there was a imbalance there was issues, some swingers couples don't allow swinging alone, it's 100% a couple activity, not a solo event, not sure many clients would be good with that aspect of your guy pal in the room or next room. I seen it done been there done that, but the client was nervous as hell when he walked into the house and saw several couples there. needless to say they didn't stick around long.

Then again I known pimps that felt that providing was "paid swinging"

So what percentage of swinger couples would you say would be good with the provider aspect? just looking at swinger couples that are in the biz would give you bad numbers, you got to ask those also not in the life, what they think,
but we are off topic!!!
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 05-06-2013, 08:23 AM
But I wouldn't go so far as to say he's weak. The same could be said of the woman who seeks a man to help them stop being a provider.

When I'm done being a provider, it'll be on my own terms. And when I meet that man who has to be TWICE the man I am () to begin with, I would hope that I could tell him about this life, and it not change how he views me.

You guys are such sensitive souls. You meet the woman of your dreams, and the moment that she mentions she's sold a li'l ass you get pissy.

We're supposed to accept the fact that you've cheated on your ex with her sister AND her mama, paid for pussy and screwed the ho in your marital bed, and love your dirty drawers. AND believe that you're not going to do the same to us.
Where's the equality in that? Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson
Tiffany,

Nice to see you chime in. You are one of the most worth-reading posters on here.
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 05-06-2013, 08:38 AM
Of course sex doesn't equal love, been a whole lot of women I had sex with and didn't care what they did, or what happen to them at all, there been women I loved and cared about them and what happen to them but it wasn't about the sex.
I known quite a few swinger couple that were ok with the providing aspect as long as the guy was getting his share in, once there was a imbalance there was issues, some swingers couples don't allow swinging alone, it's 100% a couple activity, not a solo event, not sure many clients would be good with that aspect of your guy pal in the room or next room. I seen it done been there done that, but the client was nervous as hell when he walked into the house and saw several couples there. needless to say they didn't stick around long.

Then again I known pimps that felt that providing was "paid swinging"

So what percentage of swinger couples would you say would be good with the provider aspect? just looking at swinger couples that are in the biz would give you bad numbers, you got to ask those also not in the life, what they think,
but we are off topic!!! Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates
Not sure you are off topic--the very nature of a thread on a board is some amount of drift.

You you are definately redefining the question you originally asked. There is a very, very significant difference between a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to stop when she finds the right guy, vice a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to keep working.

I'm not saying there should be a difference in how a guy views the two--that is a very different conversation--but I am saying there IS a very big difference. I have gotten to know well a number of ladies who got out of the business when they found the right guy. Of those, probably about half the relationships succeeded, half did not; the same as "real life". I also know some who kept working, and none of those have worked.

There is one lady I would likely have gotten into a serious relationship with if she had felt the same way as I did. She didn't, so we didn't. But we talked about it, and I expressed my desire that if we did, I would want her to stop. The main reason is I found it very difficult to worry about her safety when she was working, and if we were married I know it would have gotten far worse when we were together and I had to look at the clock at 1 AM and worry about whether she was OK. In this particular case her stopping was not an issue--she was more than happy to stop working if she didn't need the money--and she wouldn't have. She did stop, we are still in frequent contact, I worry less, and she is happier.
stimulatethemind's Avatar
Not sure you are off topic--the very nature of a thread on a board is some amount of drift.

You you are definately redefining the question you originally asked. There is a very, very significant difference between a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to stop when she finds the right guy, vice a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to keep working.

I'm not saying there should be a difference in how a guy views the two--that is a very different conversation--but I am saying there IS a very big difference. I have gotten to know well a number of ladies who got out of the business when they found the right guy. Of those, probably about half the relationships succeeded, half did not; the same as "real life". I also know some who kept working, and none of those have worked.

There is one lady I would likely have gotten into a serious relationship with if she had felt the same way as I did. She didn't, so we didn't. But we talked about it, and I expressed my desire that if we did, I would want her to stop. The main reason is I found it very difficult to worry about her safety when she was working, and if we were married I know it would have gotten far worse when we were together and I had to look at the clock at 1 AM and worry about whether she was OK. In this particular case her stopping was not an issue--she was more than happy to stop working if she didn't need the money--and she wouldn't have. She did stop, we are still in frequent contact, I worry less, and she is happier. Originally Posted by Old-T
So true. When you are involved with a lady, it is always her safety that is paramount on your mind. Not what she may or may not be doing, but just the aspect of her safety. It can be her safety from LE, or her physical and emotional safety from a client. It is difficult to deal with, but with lots of communication from the lady, can at least be somewhat managed.
Tiffany,

Nice to see you chime in. You are one of the most worth-reading posters on here. Originally Posted by Old-T
I appreciate that Old-T. I've finally got some time on my hands!

Not sure you are off topic--the very nature of a thread on a board is some amount of drift.

You you are definately redefining the question you originally asked. There is a very, very significant difference between a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to stop when she finds the right guy, vice a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to keep working.

I'm not saying there should be a difference in how a guy views the two--that is a very different conversation--but I am saying there IS a very big difference. I have gotten to know well a number of ladies who got out of the business when they found the right guy. Of those, probably about half the relationships succeeded, half did not; the same as "real life". I also know some who kept working, and none of those have worked. Originally Posted by Old-T
I admit to having old-fashioned views on the subject, but on the other hand we don't want what we do to define us. Is this all she really is? It's just a job, right? But the very nature of this job seems to eat at the ego of a man. He's not enough, he can't provide, she's got to sell her body to make ends meet, etc. There's not many who can get pass that initial put-down.

There is one lady I would likely have gotten into a serious relationship with if she had felt the same way as I did. She didn't, so we didn't. But we talked about it, and I expressed my desire that if we did, I would want her to stop. The main reason is I found it very difficult to worry about her safety when she was working, and if we were married I know it would have gotten far worse when we were together and I had to look at the clock at 1 AM and worry about whether she was OK. In this particular case her stopping was not an issue--she was more than happy to stop working if she didn't need the money--and she wouldn't have. She did stop, we are still in frequent contact, I worry less, and she is happier. Originally Posted by Old-T



So true. When you are involved with a lady, it is always her safety that is paramount on your mind. Not what she may or may not be doing, but just the aspect of her safety. It can be her safety from LE, or her physical and emotional safety from a client. It is difficult to deal with, but with lots of communication from the lady, can at least be somewhat managed. Originally Posted by stimulatethemind
And what about falling in love with girls who screen? Honestly, LE should be the last of a lady's worries. You should at least be confident in the WAY she works to where you know she isn't on her way to jail, and running to every dollar without sniffing out the crazies.

I would think the new-day solution to this is find women who hold their own in other ways. Women who are resourceful, who at least have skills, and who aren't seemingly stuck in the life. I know you can't help who you love, but thinking things through always cuts this kind of thing short. And the reason they don't quit so you can "take care of them" is that no woman wants to be dependent on a guy to hold all their cards. Just like all relationships, they know it's only a matter of time before you go all normal and it has to end.
Interesting thread...
The point of a relationship in this business and telling him upfront....
All your points are valid: here is what I heard along time ago about pointers on dating The GUY SAID... never tell a new date important information that should wait till you know he likes you. Liike every woman in my family died of Cancer. Etc etc etc until it gets serious enough that they are so caught up they don't care. I assume that would go the same as I suck dick for a living etc etc etc. But hey what do I know.
dreamvacationdates's Avatar
Not sure you are off topic--the very nature of a thread on a board is some amount of drift.

You you are definately redefining the question you originally asked. There is a very, very significant difference between a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to stop when she finds the right guy, vice a guy who would be willing to get into a serious relationship with an escort who wants to keep working.

I'm not saying there should be a difference in how a guy views the two--that is a very different conversation--but I am saying there IS a very big difference. I have gotten to know well a number of ladies who got out of the business when they found the right guy. Of those, probably about half the relationships succeeded, half did not; the same as "real life". I also know some who kept working, and none of those have worked.

There is one lady I would likely have gotten into a serious relationship with if she had felt the same way as I did. She didn't, so we didn't. But we talked about it, and I expressed my desire that if we did, I would want her to stop. The main reason is I found it very difficult to worry about her safety when she was working, and if we were married I know it would have gotten far worse when we were together and I had to look at the clock at 1 AM and worry about whether she was OK. In this particular case her stopping was not an issue--she was more than happy to stop working if she didn't need the money--and she wouldn't have. She did stop, we are still in frequent contact, I worry less, and she is happier. Originally Posted by Old-T
I think some guys are more in love with the fantasy of being in a relationship with a escort than the reality of being in a relationship, let's take it a step further, if they do fall in love, lust, whatever with a escort, very few want her to continue as one, I don't think, but i maybe wrong, are looking to be with a escort because he may have a swing partner in the process, most guys are looking to fill that void of a one on one relationship, that's why most guys deep down want them to stop.
Some guys are just cuckolded it's something that they find pleasure in so they want her to continue.
But since we are going down this path now, this is a question for that ladies, if you were in a relationship with a guy who is ok with you working, would you be ok with him, going out everyday and being with other women, women that buys him gifts, keep him out to all hours, and if he sees her out on the town, gives those sly knowing glances and smiles, that is seems a lot of the guys here like to do when they see a provider they know out with their SO.
dreamvacationdates's Avatar
Interesting thread...
The point of a relationship in this business and telling him upfront....
All your points are valid: here is what I heard along time ago about pointers on dating The GUY SAID... never tell a new date important information that should wait till you know he likes you. Liike every woman in my family died of Cancer. Etc etc etc until it gets serious enough that they are so caught up they don't care. I assume that would go the same as I suck dick for a living etc etc etc. But hey what do I know. Originally Posted by Majichands

If he really care about you and wanted to be with you he wouldn't care from the get go
Old-T's Avatar
  • Old-T
  • 05-06-2013, 10:19 PM
I think some guys are more in love with the fantasy of being in a relationship with a escort than the reality of being in a relationship, let's take it a step further, if they do fall in love, lust, whatever with a escort, very few want her to continue as one, I don't think, but i maybe wrong, are looking to be with a escort because he may have a swing partner in the process, most guys are looking to fill that void of a one on one relationship, that's why most guys deep down want them to stop.
Some guys are just cuckolded it's something that they find pleasure in so they want her to continue.
I think you are very seriously stretching to come to these conclusions. I will give you that some guys are in love with being in love--escort or otherwise--but I think the majority of replies you have gotten here (which reflect the serious discussions I have read on other boards at other times) are not viewing a relationship with an escort as a "swing parner" or a self-inflicted cuckolding. You are beginning to sound just a bit less sincere about the topic. Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates
If he really care about you and wanted to be with you he wouldn't care from the get go Originally Posted by dreamvacationdates
Sorry, that does not follow in the least.

Day 1: I just meet a lady, I think she is interesting and I decide I might want to find out a bit more about her. I am willing to invest my time, money, and energy for tickets to a movie and dinner afterwards. But if she tells me she is an escort--or tells me her two sisters have terminal cancer, or that she just lost her job--I may decide THAT amount of emotional energy is more than I'm willing to invest in a stranger.

Now forward ahead several months or more into the relationship. The first date went well. It was followed by several more. I got to know more about her, and I decide I really like what I have seen. NOW she tells me any of those things and I am very likely to see it in a very different light--and respond very differently because--based upon what I know about the lady, I now AM willing to invest a lot more than I was when she was a stranger.

Been there, done that. With several people who I let into my inner circle. No, not all escorts and not all people I was falling in love with, but people who had become very close and THEN serious issues came up. Personally I think it is a very natural, human responce.

In this case, the hadr part is to tell that pivot pont--too early and she would chase the guy away. Too late and he may feel deceived. But your view that intimate issues can all be discussed from day one is--in my opinion--not the reality of human nature for most people.
Danielle Reid's Avatar
I model (although I'm new so no one knows who I am).

I know how to hide both worlds, so dating has NEVER been an issue for me. In fact, and not to scare away any potential clients, my boyfriend approves. So no worries of angry jealous boyfriend kicking in the door. Whatever pays the bills.