Anyone ever feel guilty???

Ranch i feel what your are saying so much that i should have been the one to ask the question you did. My wife and i have been together since we were 14 yrs old and i have been the only guy she has messed with (her personal choice ~she has done a few girls though bcuz i wanted her to) she loves me to death and i love her to death.

She has even given me the chance to go have sex with other girls (any girl i want - especially if she knows i think they are hot ~ sometimes she plays the wingman/woman) we laugh and talk about the experiences after we get done; she used to also like watching me fucking the crap out of other girls bcuz she thinks it hot, however since we started having kids she has become super possessive of me.

now for the guilt part > she has no idea that i have banged a few hundred girls (here in the hobby), i feel like shit when i do it and its hard to face her afterwards (but the kink of strange and the rush i get from sneaking around keeps me doing it over and over ~ its like drugs) i really want to stop (really i have prayed about it) but i just cant seem to.
our sex together is way better than any provider i have ever been with but there are a few things she is not into in the bedroom (not open-minded) and worst yet she has no idea i occasionally like when a really sexy hot young girl pleasure me with a man toy (strap-on).

I really love her and would never want to our relationship to end but i cant stop.

When you feel guilty is when you know you care about the one you love. When you don't care about what you're doing then you should worry.

To each their own, but I keep them separate. I NEVER have considered what I do BCD with a provider as anything other than a service that I pay to enjoy. I have never and will never allow myself to get emotionally involved with anyone outside of my SO, in hobby world or civvy world. The minute you open your heart to someone other than your SO, you are in deep shit and it's time to rethink just about eveything.

Just my .02, but I would take a step back for a while and try to get some distance from the hobby...once you can truly see the forest from the trees, you can make the best decision for your situation without worrying your judgement may be clouded.

Good luck with it...

I feel you Ranch. For me it's the thrill of the hunt? I have the best sex ever with my SO and have not found a provider to match. I guess it's the time we have together and being familiar with her, but I do like the hunt and the search for the fantasy. I usually feel guilty afterwards, buts is also feeling like I wasted my time and money on something that is not as good as what I already have. We men like to hunt and the joy is in the chase for me. I still will chase after that fantasy, that never is what I want it to be?

you obviously don't feel that guilty or you wouldnt do it at all. Originally Posted by GabbyGabbages

Ladies and gents. I went backa and re-read what I wrote. While I did not mean this to be a personal attack aimed at anyone special, I can see how it can easily come accross like that.

I am sorry. What I meant is that if anyone feels too guilty, then they need to rethink what they are doing. That goes for the girls as well as the guys.

I have felt guilt at times.... I am a married provider and have some problems separating "work" from "feelings" at times. for sure, it is simply work, but sometimes work can be fun and interesting just like the people I "work" with, fun and intersting. That can be a problem in a personal relationship (like married or engaged or steeady or whatever).

When it gets to be a problem for me, I step away from work for a bit and rethink things.

We are, afterall, people. People with hearts and minds and souls.....

Thanks for listening.

Gabby

Ty love ur are too.