How to become the perfect client

  • cynic
  • 06-28-2013, 09:53 AM
Not really a common issue just a big one you will remember Originally Posted by b@ileythepistol
So, you remember the big ones? LOL

My way of trying to be a good client is to show up the same way I expect the provider to show up...clean, respectful, act like I'm there to be with her (not just whoever) and call her by name (not just honey, sugar, darling, sweetbritches, or some other generic nickname), and if its the first time I'm seeing this particular provider, I like to take a few minutes to gain a level of comfort, rather than just walking in and dropping trou
BigMikeinKC's Avatar
And don't fart when she is "down there", or will be soon. :-) Originally Posted by royamcr
Had a girl fart during sex once, she said it was a mind blowing orgasm...
Every time I read a post regarding hygiene I'm a bit blown away, the fact that it is mentioned so much tells me it's a common issue! I can't imagine why a client would ever think it's ok NOT to show up clean and smelling nice, if a provider shows up nasty it'd be a equally nasty review right?
It just baffles me that some men have to be told to wash! Originally Posted by buttmann

Actually you would be surprised by how often this happens. Especially during these hot summer months when someone is driving to your incall, they get nervous, sweaty, etc.
A quick little freshening up in the bathroom when you arrive will take care of these issues.
Helicopter206's Avatar
Originally Posted by buttmann
Every time I read a post regarding hygiene I'm a bit blown away, the fact that it is mentioned so much tells me it's a common issue! I can't imagine why a client would ever think it's ok NOT to show up clean and smelling nice, if a provider shows up nasty it'd be a equally nasty review right?
It just baffles me that some men have to be told to wash!




Not really a common issue just a big one you will remember Originally Posted by b@ileythepistol

Damn Bailey just said you had a BIG ONE... I quess that would be a different problem.
I said hygiene.. for me has not been a major issue but its a big issue that I will remember. I guess I need to spell things out more clearly for some people
If you have a penis:
-Allow water to touch every part of the body, front and back from head to toe.
-Grab bar of soap, lather up entire body so every inch of you has been graced with this bar coating your body with a fresh, masculine scent.
-Inner thighs must be touched by soap, water alone does not count.
-Massage ball sack while it has soap on it, then scrub the asshole as if you wanted to remove color from the skin.
-Swish around the shower water in your mouth and then spit it out, this will act as a reminder to brush teeth after out of the shower.
-Washing between the toes and behind the ears I think are two areas that are sometimes left out, wash them.
-Use towel to dry off as if the towel is sand paper, the friction will wipe away anything that the gentle soap didn't pry away from the skin.

If you have a vagina:
-Allow water to touch every part of the body, front and back from head to toe.
-Grab bar of soap, lather up entire body so every inch of you has been graced with this bar coating your body with the fragrance you would want the man to lick off your body.
-Spread your lips, get in the crevices down there.
-Visually bend over and spread your lips and if you can see cottage cheese or toilet paper, get rid of it because that is disgusting. Yes, lift up the hood and look under there, speculating your clit just as thoroughly.
-Buttholes need attention too, scrub as if you are removing the color from the skin.
-Swish around the shower water in your mouth and then spit it out, this will act as a reminder to brush teeth after out of the shower.
-Wash between your toes and behind your ears.
-Use towel to dry off as if the towel is sand paper, the friction will wipe away anything that the gentle soap didn't pry away from the skin.
^^^^
Lmao true but funny
This is not directed towards anyone...I just thought it was funny.

If you have a penis:
-Allow water to touch every part of the body, front and back from head to toe.
-Grab bar of soap, lather up entire body so every inch of you has been graced with this bar coating your body with a fresh, masculine scent.
-Inner thighs must be touched by soap, water alone does not count.
-Massage ball sack while it has soap on it, then scrub the asshole as if you wanted to remove color from the skin.
-Swish around the shower water in your mouth and then spit it out, this will act as a reminder to brush teeth after out of the shower.
-Washing between the toes and behind the ears I think are two areas that are sometimes left out, wash them.
-Use towel to dry off as if the towel is sand paper, the friction will wipe away anything that the gentle soap didn't pry away from the skin.

If you have a vagina:
-Allow water to touch every part of the body, front and back from head to toe.
-Grab bar of soap, lather up entire body so every inch of you has been graced with this bar coating your body with the fragrance you would want the man to lick off your body.
-Spread your lips, get in the crevices down there.
-Visually bend over and spread your lips and if you can see cottage cheese or toilet paper, get rid of it because that is disgusting. Yes, lift up the hood and look under there, speculating your clit just as thoroughly.
-Buttholes need attention too, scrub as if you are removing the color from the skin.
-Swish around the shower water in your mouth and then spit it out, this will act as a reminder to brush teeth after out of the shower.
-Wash between your toes and behind your ears.
-Use towel to dry off as if the towel is sand paper, the friction will wipe away anything that the gentle soap didn't pry away from the skin. Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise
And if you have both?
And if you have both? Originally Posted by BigDeal
Buy a gender neutral bar of soap?
I prefer a hot bath full to the rim almost overflowing. Use my loofa mits with Organic Herbal Mint gel. lol. that sounded kinda gay. But it feels so good.
KenMonk's Avatar
How about not stalking a lady's whole life at any point before, after, or if no appointment was even made?
ladylover4ever's Avatar
I prefer a hot bath full to the rim almost overflowing. Use my loofa mits with Organic Herbal Mint gel. lol. that sounded kinda gay. But it feels so good. Originally Posted by royamcr
Just a little gay! But we won't tell! LOL
If you have a penis:
-Allow water to touch every part of the body, front and back from head to toe.
-Grab bar of soap, lather up entire body so every inch of you has been graced with this bar coating your body with a fresh, masculine scent.
-Inner thighs must be touched by soap, water alone does not count.
-Massage ball sack while it has soap on it, then scrub the asshole as if you wanted to remove color from the skin.
-Swish around the shower water in your mouth and then spit it out, this will act as a reminder to brush teeth after out of the shower.
-Washing between the toes and behind the ears I think are two areas that are sometimes left out, wash them.
-Use towel to dry off as if the towel is sand paper, the friction will wipe away anything that the gentle soap didn't pry away from the skin.

If you have a vagina:
-Allow water to touch every part of the body, front and back from head to toe.
-Grab bar of soap, lather up entire body so every inch of you has been graced with this bar coating your body with the fragrance you would want the man to lick off your body.
-Spread your lips, get in the crevices down there.
-Visually bend over and spread your lips and if you can see cottage cheese or toilet paper, get rid of it because that is disgusting. Yes, lift up the hood and look under there, speculating your clit just as thoroughly.
-Buttholes need attention too, scrub as if you are removing the color from the skin.
-Swish around the shower water in your mouth and then spit it out, this will act as a reminder to brush teeth after out of the shower.
-Wash between your toes and behind your ears.
-Use towel to dry off as if the towel is sand paper, the friction will wipe away anything that the gentle soap didn't pry away from the skin. Originally Posted by PleasantSurprise

Insert finger into the vagina whilst in the shower to wash it out also.
FLA's Avatar
  • FLA
  • 06-29-2013, 03:39 PM
Oh...perk....How bout mutual shower, scrubbing and insertion upon arrival.

Or better yet who has a tub that can fit two? That would be enjoyable.