Funny Cumshot Stories

Hahaha pulling his pud! New one! Lol

Hahaha pulling his pud! New one! Lol Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Glad I'm not the only one who needs a new keyboard.

Nah, it was dry by the time he saw it, and figured only a dumb ass wouldn't go all the way to the back end for some leg room! Plus he knew Janet's dad pretty well and figured we wouldn't be doing that especially on a cold Sunday night when she had to be back by 8.

He did figure out what was going on when I made the console in my Camaro removable, he never asked why I had a blanket in my trunk and made some smart ass dad comment about my T-handle shifter and my ass one time, though.

Dads. Damn. What did the REALLY know?

Ya'll don't know pulling the pud? Must be youngsters!

Had a fun experience one time a long while ago. I was out at a bar and had been flirting with a girl all night and I definitely picked up on the freak vibe. Needless to say after many drinks later, we ended up finding a motel 6 just down the road. She proved to be a lot of fun. After bouncing around the room and having fun, she actually told me she wanted me to cum on her face. I obliged. Definitely a larger load than normal and basically covered her face and eyes. So she gets up to go to the bathroom to wipe her face off, with her eyes closed. She feels for the bathroom door and after finding the door molding proceeded to walk face first into the closed bathroom door. I tried to hold back the laughter, but couldn't. She flicked me off, opened the door, hopped in the shower, and then I joined her for round 2.

Had it go straight up into the right nostril once and when I moved my head forward, the left eyeball took a hit and the third pulse parted my hair straight down the middle and hit the wall behind me. We both fell out laughing so hard HE fell off the bed. 'twas quite the most memorable sessions I've had to date!

That one is a tie with the time Fubar nearly burned my incall down when his shirt landed on a candle and caught fire, but that's a whole other story....lol Always wondered how he explained that to the SO...lol

Fubar if your still out there, I STILL
owe you a new shirt!!

cant remember any funny cumshot stories cos, usually my fellatrix takes it in her mouth.

Hahaha pulling his pud! New one! Lol Originally Posted by thathottnurse

actually, that's a very old phrase!!!!
there's a ton of nicknames for a penis .....

Had a fun experience one time a long while ago. I was out at a bar and had been flirting with a girl all night and I definitely picked up on the freak vibe. Needless to say after many drinks later, we ended up finding a motel 6 just down the road. She proved to be a lot of fun. After bouncing around the room and having fun, she actually told me she wanted me to cum on her face. I obliged. Definitely a larger load than normal and basically covered her face and eyes. So she gets up to go to the bathroom to wipe her face off, with her eyes closed. She feels for the bathroom door and after finding the door molding proceeded to walk face first into the closed bathroom door. I tried to hold back the laughter, but couldn't. She flicked me off, opened the door, hopped in the shower, and then I joined her for round 2. Originally Posted by Sardo

well, at least she didnt walk out the motel door to the outside!!


did you kiss her boo-boo?
sounds like you did [round 2]

dbl post.

Additionally, I have learned that one of my boyfriends has bad aim, so I carry Visine ...cum in the eyes stings like a bitch...that's why I swallow...much safer! Originally Posted by LilMynx69

Ohhh I remember this experience!!!
In the eye and up the nostril!!!

I prefer the CREAMPIE over swallowing him . . .
the bf of course

I had a real world friend that came by to play for a bit, asked me if he could pop on me. Of course I say WELL YEAH, love it!! He pulls cover, and shoots me right in the eye. Fucker was standing at edge of the bed and got my eye.

Next time he came over, I had my safety glasses on the dresser.

Sharing mine you fine Dallas folks ....wasn't funny then but hilarious looking back:

It was one of those i'm on my back and my head is hanging off the bed and the client is mounting and throat/face-fucking me and he's talking dirty all "I'm about to cum, you're gonna take it all, are you gonna it swallow all, yeah yeah" yada yada yada and I'm all smiles mouth open wide and he cums EVERYWHERE but my mouth. He came A LOT and it went it my eyes, rushed into my nostrils, some it got into my ears, my hair ..... it was awesome.
I was basically drowning in his cum lol I screamed "oh my god, oh my god it's in my nose, can't breathe" and he's in between apologizing and laughing at the same time (dick). And I wear contacts so while it was hilarious that cum going into my eyes (and everywhere else); my wearing contacts freaked me out a bit (had to take them out and clean/disinfect them) ... I was halfway blind the rest of the date lol.

Ahh, one of my favorite movies was "There's Something About Mary"! I have had the hair incidents. You guys don't appreciate the hair thing. It takes 30 minutes to dry my hair and I wash it at least once a day, lol.

It isn't unusual for a guy to want to cum on my tits. My cum tragedy was a cum shot up the nose and I had no idea it was cumming! He was so quiet and took forever to cum, I was really taken by surprise.

It happens...lol

Hahaha pulling his pud! New one! Lol Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Nope, Honey, that one dates back at least to the Civil War.

I gave Bailey Boobs a load right up the nostrils last time I came on her face. She laughed and took it like a good sport.

I often pop huge ones and I have to say more often than not it has caused some pretty awkward mishaps. Don't get me wrong, some of the best sessions I've had involved leaving the giant melons of SweetTreat and Giasanto38ddd totally glazed. But for every one of those I've had several others where the cum ended up in places it wasn't supposed to go.

Last December I got a tremendous BBBJ from Electra Saints. When she dropped to her knees and leaned back in the "Cum On My Tits" position she leaned a little too far back and even though I aimed right at her tits, it ricocheted into her hair. Another time, Michelle Snow ended up with Mr Jake's Special Sauce on her back and the back of her head because she didn't lean back far enough, I pulled back, and the jizz launched almost straight up.

One of the bad things about shooting big loads is that word travels fast among providers, so CIM and COF are seldom on the menu for me. When I asked Bad Bunny if she was OK with CIM she said that she heard about some of the wads I've shot but she'd handled big loads before. So after a great BBBJ I finished in her mouth. She tried to take the whole thing but ended up gagging and coughing it up. I felt bad because she was such a sweetheart and a real trouper, just like the other girls I've mentioned.