Ah don't like givin' freebies. Mah time is right val-u-able. Nuny'all fillies can really afford meh. An Ah may require a refundable deposit in advance ta make shore y'all don't waste ma time an' NCNS me.
Ah also may require a packet o' face pics ta make sure Ah kin ID ya when we git together. Nekkid is preferred. Wide open beaver is even better.
Ah will spare no expense, jus' as long as tha lucky filly is fine with Dan's Hamburgers, or Burger-Tex, or Casino El Camino, or tha Jackalope. Ah don't go fer none o' that vegematarian shee-yit. If'n they insist on no meat, Ah jus' might drag 'em to Subway an' let 'em have one o' them ol' foot-long Jared specials. An' thet's tha only way they'll ev'r git a foot-long from l'il ol me.
An' ladies remember, y'all are payin' ONLY fer ma companionship. Lookie lookie, no touchie. Ain't jus' any ol' gal thet Ah let stuff ma Bumblebee tuna can inna her hot buttered whisker biscuit.