My ATF left me. What do I do now!?

Jules Jaguar's Avatar
Sorry to hear that... Hopefully you will find the right person to get you back into the swing of things
OldGrump's Avatar
I am saddened at the thought of the loss of a young life. I feel your emptiness.

It seems a bit odd to try to find a copy of her. She can't be replaced. Her services, sure, but she is gone.

Even though there was probably not a strong emotional attachment (though some feelilgs must exist), you will miss her. Give it time and hobby if you want, but please show her more respect than asking to replace her with another the same age and appearance.
Don't come on here looking for sympathy.
You won't find much.
Only smart asses .
You grieve, and you
Get back in the saddle.
There are plenty of women on here that can be your next ATF.
please show her more respect than asking to replace her with another the same age and appearance. Originally Posted by OldGrump
Don't put a guilt trip on him, man. It's his pain; let him deal with it as he wishes.

I see nothing disrespectful about his desire to find someone similar, to the extent that is possible. That said, I fully understand and appreciate the comments by the ladies that maybe he should go another direction. But I don't think that advice was borne out of a concern over disrespect to the departed.

Or maybe I'm just wrong. Not an uncommon thing for me.
  • Sami
  • 02-08-2014, 10:25 PM
I am really sorry for your loss. Some people like to take cheap, unnecessary shots. Some don't have the capability to understand, when you visit one another, even p4p you still care for one's well being.
ATF's build reports with one another. I too lost a very special guy, I have seen for several years, last year out of no where. I was contacted. It can leave you feeling sad to know you & the world has lost a good person. It's a real reminder how life is so short. There are some good ladies around here, best of luck searching for your next new venture..
OldGrump's Avatar
Don't put a guilt trip on him, man. It's his pain; let him deal with it as he wishes.

I see nothing disrespectful about his desire to find someone similar, to the extent that is possible. That said, I fully understand and appreciate the comments by the ladies that maybe he should go another direction. But I don't think that advice was borne out of a concern over disrespect to the departed.

Or maybe I'm just wrong. Not an uncommon thing for me. Originally Posted by eccienewbie
I'm not trying to put a guilt trip on him. Sorry if he took it that way. I was just questioning his desire to duplicate her.

It just sounded like he lost a toy and wants another just like it. If he is feeling real loss, I hope he deals with it in time. I think it would be painful to be with someone who reminded you of the lady you just lost, but that may be just me - a sentimental old fool.

Gnostalgia, I wish you the best. I hope you find a caring lady who can help you move on.
that may be just me - a sentimental old fool. Originally Posted by OldGrump
I don't think you're a fool by any means; but I do think you chose your words poorly in suggesting it would be disrespectful of him to try to do exactly what he said he wanted to do in the OP.

I'm glad you clarified your meaning. And I never thought you intended anything malicious by your remarks.
Juan Pablo de Marco's Avatar
you know what...i feel bad about my original post on this thread. yeah...i tend to be a smartass on this site. sometimes it is warranted. but in this case maybe not and i apologize to the OP.

i got a text yesterday that a girl i know (provider) is undergoing surgery today. interestingly enough...i was in the ICU of a hospital recently and she actually wanted to come see me. so...my apologies to the OP. hope all works out for you.
Good on ya, JPdM.

It's sometimes hard to break character. Believe me, I know.
Charlie Brown's Avatar
G.........PM me if you want some solid support.........we've seen some of the same ladies and may have similar tastes. Losing ANYONE under any circumstance.........hard stuff.
Gnostalgia's Avatar
A sincere Thank You to ALL who responded to my question. You should all know I didn't take offense at anything that was offered. Now I didn't quite understand some of it, but that could just be me.
A few showed real caring and that I got. Old Grump, I didn't take offense at anything. I don't feel like I would disrespect her because her shoes will be really hard to fill in looks and personality. But I will look for those similar traits that filled me with such joy. Maybe I disgust some of you bringing this up here, but I have no one else to share this with. Who not in the hobby would have a clue? Some of the ladies who responded I have seen before and may trample your door rug again soon. I've made some really great choices in my opinion. Being on Eccie is one of them.
But you're all correct, you "can't go home again" and move forward too.
SpiceItUp's Avatar
Gnostalgia, sorry for your loss, after all who are we to judge the depth of the relationships of various sorts we form with one another in this thing of ours? Often on this site, as on every Internet forum, giving each other shit is just part and parcel of the place. But you're right, who else could you talk to about this and have them understand?

Good luck finding whatever it is you seek.
Lucas McCain's Avatar
I don't even understand this thread...You've been heart broken over your ATF for 6 months, but you think finding someone else similar to her would help?

Not making light of your loss, my friend. But if you truly feel sorrow in losing someone you care about, you can't replace them no matter what you do. It takes time, not another hooker who has her physical attributes and similar age.
Gnostalgia's Avatar
Don't come on here looking for sympathy.
You won't find much.
Only smart asses .
You grieve, and you
Get back in the saddle.
There are plenty of women on here that can be your next ATF. Originally Posted by daveindallas
Sage advice. I'm on it.
Gnostalgia's Avatar
I don't even understand this thread...You've been heart broken over your ATF for 6 months, but you think finding someone else similar to her would help?

Not making light of your loss, my friend. But if you truly feel sorrow in losing someone you care about, you can't replace them no matter what you do. It takes time, not another hooker who has her physical attributes and similar age. Originally Posted by Lucas McCain
I'm seeing that now. Thanks for opening my eyes. We were tight for six months. She died last month suddenly.