How much would screening change if LE was no longer an issue?

.........Since the major reason for divorces in the US is finances, I would expect that subject to come up very early if the parties see that the relationship is going some place. The only other things that I think need early discussion are kids (how many and theory of discipline) and where to live/whose career to follow. All these discussions should be blunt, to the point and sincere. Any sidestepping (I was going to say pussyfooting, but ) of the issue should bring any plans to a screeching halt. You cannot plan for every bump in the road, but you can practice preventive care. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I would thing religion too as I am exceedingly secular.

Finances are important – very important. Without enough money, one has a huge problem. Like Sydney said, lifestyle is one tell-tale sign, but I know plenty of people that are WAY beyond their means with lifestyle. A person’s beauty, wit, intellect, youth, etc. are very easy to ascertain. Whether someone can have or want children and their finances are much more difficult to ascertain without direct questions. Something to consider is knowing what kind of answer one wants. Many people have no idea what they ultimately want when it comes right down to it.

L – I do care how someone makes their money. I have found that most robber barons have personalities that I just don’t even appreciate let alone like.

Since the major reason for divorces in the US is finances, I would expect that subject to come up very early if the parties see that the relationship is going some place. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

I've never had the stomach to ask a woman how much money she makes on a date...early on or later.

Good point. I must say though that if things progressed and I then found out that a gal had researched my finances before a first date I would be quite upset about it; probably would end things right there and then. Originally Posted by discreetgent

I would understand that; I may even feel the same way if it was reversed. I will say this: I haven't hidden it from anyone that I've dated for the long term. I've apologised for the invasion of space (I wouldn't lie about it to someone I care for) and in every instance they were understanding and wanted me to take care of myself because they want me taken care of. And didn't get mad!? I agree, I'd be pissed too. But given my life experiences (and perceived need to take care of myself) and my lack of manipulation, it tends to get forgiven in the broad spectrum of things....In addition to being terribly honest in personal relationships, I give a great blowjob - I find that tends to smooth over the difficult bumps of a relationship

To answer the original question posed. . .

The first thing that comes to mind is a credit check and deposit.

I agree, I'd be pissed too. But given my life experiences (and perceived need to take care of myself) and my lack of manipulation, it tends to get forgiven in the broad spectrum of things....In addition to being terribly honest in personal relationships, I give a great blowjob - I find that tends to smooth over the difficult bumps of a relationship Originally Posted by Sydneyb

That's one way to cause this curmudgeon to emerge from a self-imposed posting moratorium. Thank you, Sydney. A woman who understands a man's perspective, and just how to deal with it - not that I ever had any doubt.



Sydney GETS it!

Sydney DOES get it.

Obviously, a BJ doesn't solve all ills. There are certain circumstances where a woman just plain doesn't get that opportunity. I happen to be very decisive. But if I were to discover such a violation once it was already past-tense and I had already been favorably impressed with her character ... her subsequent positive behavior would likely put that violation in perspective as a relatively small matter.

If a woman makes it clear to me that I am loved, admired, and appreciated -- and let's face it, the most unambigiuous expression of that acceptance is physical -- I won't hold a grudge.

Naturally, I would not expect her to then hold it against ME that her "missing toothbrush" had actually been sent to a gene-testing lab.

Naturally, I would not expect her to then hold it against ME that her "missing toothbrush" had actually been sent to a gene-testing lab. Originally Posted by Laurentius

I suppose that depends on your prowess between her legs...


(why would someone do that? I would do std testing with an exclusive, monogomous lover. And I don't hide that I'm a czech/irish mutt...what's left to gene test for?)

...what's left to gene test for?) Originally Posted by Sydneyb

Sure beats me -- just foolin' around.

As for prowess ... well ... technical stuff notwithstanding ... it seems to me that if she loves you and you ain't good -- she'll make you good if you have any inclination toward being a non-selfish lover. And if she doesn't love you, all the expertise in the world doesn't mean diddly.

Not wishing to propagate gender stereotypes of course, but I think I am a lot simpler sexually than even the sexually simplest woman. Far fewer prerequisites to my satisfaction.

Why would screening change?

At least with LE a provider would not get hurt. Miscreants walk among us and are a very real threat.

Pyramider, I think you have a point. I am more afraid of being physically harmed than being arrested, and I have a lot to lose if I were to get arrested.