ASK THE FUCKING PROPHET! (Free Beta Version)

Since I probably owe you one (for being so mean to you).......once upon a time......

Call him up and tell him you want to let by-gones be by-gones......invite him over next weekend for a drink and discussion on how you both can move forward amicably.

In the mean time, start sucking all of the dick you can this week and spit the jizz in a cup.

When the ex comes over next weekend, mix him his drink and add that little something extra for shits and grins........and try to pay attention as you have that thoughtful discussion on how you both can move forward amicably........and if he really fucked you over, invite him back for seconds. Originally Posted by dearhunter

You were not mean...you were you. I pissed in your back yard and you responded as you always do.

Brilliant advice though lmao!! Just one problem...how do I get the jiz through airport security??

I also like the idea of kissing him after I have just done cim.

At least you didn't invite me over for a drink........put the jiz in your shoe.

Oh yea...drinks are on me lmao!

Fucktard fills my plate.......then, goes and gets himself banned.....fucking newbies all thinck this shit is easy. Originally Posted by dearhunter

Don't thinck of it as a ban, thinck of it as an opportunity for reincarnation.

Instant Classic.

Since your ex is in the outhouse, I walk a thin line in not joining her in the course of my response..... this one is a fucking landmine.....bitch

That being said, I will try to help because in some small way I feel partially to blame for your nuptuals..........it was a trainwreck brought to fruition with great patience.

To make this work, you will need to make some purchases at a Subway.....this can be done over the course of a few days, or you could enlist assistance from the fucktards who coaxed you into the doomed nuptuals.......after each purchase get the card stamped that leads you to a freebie.

Once you have all of the slots stamped except one, you take the card and place it under the driverside windshield wiper of the afore mentioned ex's car....do this just before lunch on a Tuesday....then wait in the bushes.

You should have about 1 hour.....that is how long it should take for her to eat 2 sandwiches......get in get out.....no fuss/no muss. Originally Posted by dearhunter

Dear DearHunter,

I forgot to ask..... what about the body? Originally Posted by texasjohn1965

roll of carpet, bag of lime powder, you will need a windowless van to carry body that is covered in lime powder to a remote location where a hole has been dug... add more lime and some water to it all once body is in hole and leave, THOROUGHLY clean van.

Or take a cue from the show Dexter

Pulp Fiction was better lol.

oops

oops Originally Posted by Little Stevie

Don't fret it.....my bite is worse than my bark.

DH I must say you are obviously very needed and pretty quick on your feet. I actually think(cant believe im sayin this) you should get your own forum. This is hilarious kudos sir!

Dear DeerHunter,

How is a fucktard to respond to a lady's comment that I am such a better lover than Wakeup and Wayward?

Dear Dearhunter

Why is this entire thread all about you? , im slightly jealous.....


Just kidding....wink

DH I must say you are obviously very needed and pretty quick on your feet. I actually think(cant believe im sayin this) you should get your own forum. This is hilarious kudos sir! Originally Posted by caramelqtee mila

That's ok beautiful.....I grow on you.

Who needs Dr Phil, when we have Dearhunter! lol

Mr. Fucking DearHunter Prophet:

My ex-SO found some explicit emails between myself and my ATF. She promptly vacated the marital domicile. She took MY FUKKING DOGS, and left HER FUKKING CATS. The dogs were AKC registered and the cats were strays found in the dumpsters of various restaurants in the area.

My question is in two parts:

A. Do you Houston boys need any of these cats for Avatars, and

B. Since the SO is gone, should I install a chrome stripped pole (which matches the kitchen fixtures) or a brass stripped pole (which is classic)?