ATFs/Girlfriends

Dont blame you.

Ok, there is one that I would not see due to a ( sorta ) relationship with a hobbiest I know....but I won't let that happen anymore, if I like her and she will see me than so be it, ( sorta ) relationship or not, it will happen.

And I hope myself and who ever that hobbiest is will still be friends when all is said and done. If not than so be that as well.

I think the horseshit you wrote is inappropriate.

I also think you thrive on the drama which is unnecessary here.

The impression you "think" you may have left is nothing short of how ignorant I think of you for posting "business" of others well known here.

Why you create this for yourself and others is unbeknownst to me.


Now, several know of my relationship with my Hobby SO.

I won't lie, because I do think it has affected my business somewhat when I travel ... south...but its okay...he makes up for it.

I am not worried if he hobbies from this day on.... because.....

"This is called the HOBBY, hobby's are supposed to be FUN...if you're not having FUN, find a new HOBBY!"

He and I have a special connection, so I know where I stand and am very, very confident in my place is with him.

No worries what so ever.

He understands me as well as I do him and we are cool like that.

He has a whole other life as well as myself but together "we" have a great hobby life together.

Where ever this path takes us will be interesting but I have a very good friend/man whom I am fortunate to have like no other does... Originally Posted by berkleigh

Most casual readers of this thread would never have even guessed, or cared to guess who she was talking about -- including myself.

In fact, I went back and read her comments again only because your response seemed so venomous that I was like, wtf is is that all about?

But anyway, if there's gonna be a cat fight, can I get it on video? There's just something kinda sexy about it.

I completely picked up on elgatos intent . . .it was just a random question but a good one. . . a thread starter . . . I think certain people thought it was personal or something.

And thank you SofaKingFun for the compliment . . . I am a very vocal girl (in more ways than one . . . for those who have seen me lol) and I just put things out there.

I know I am always comforted when I see someone post something real and genuine rather than a cover-up or blow off for the actual topic. And sometimes I have random questions and sometimes I have personal questions and that is what ya'll (lol did I spell that right? lol) are here for. Support, growth and preserverance.

I am uninvolved in Texas drama and this is my un biased opinion . . . but isn't that the best opinion? Wrong . . . right . . . completely off lol. Forget you may know a secret or not know one but think it it there and read TOO far into a question . . .it throws away the validaty of the question and the person who asked it. Is that what we desire here?

Think about the question or inquiry only and answer it with your experience, thoughts and feelings on how it effects you instead of making a judgement.

No one here can tell me you haven't gone beyond a line, wondered if you would, questioned a level of intimacy, felt feelings come up unexpected and/or saw many things around you go on and wonder . . . "Could that happen to me? Would I do that?"

I have. And I ask and I have recieved the BEST advice on these type of sites

You're more than welcome beautiful.
Oh, and it's spelled, y'all, which is a contraction from, you all.

Most casual readers of this thread would never have even guessed, or cared to guess who she was talking about -- including myself.

In fact, I went back and read her comments again only because your response seemed so venomous that I was like, wtf is is that all about?

But anyway, if there's gonna be a cat fight, can I get it on video? There's just something kinda sexy about it. Originally Posted by Sensual Sophia

Rightttt......she and I know she wrote that so I would see it. So I would comment. And the others she spoke of will read if they haven't already and it stirs up drama that isn't needed. Especially here. This is suppose to be a positive board, not aspd with all the drama. There will be no cat fight to video as I refuse to stoop that low and post threads or comments attacking her or outing personal business. No class what so ever....this is suppose to be a close knit community so there was never any hard feelings....this is my job and a huge part of my life. I don't have time nor do I care for someone who isn't happy with themself and trying to bring others down. This thread seriously got off topic.

I've been been following this thread for 2 days and someone needs to start taking their meds and chill. If one reacts so violently and personalizes a conversation like this, then, one needs to look within. If that person finds their behavior is wrong, then change it. If it's right, embrace it. If it's wrong, don't attack others for pointing it out.
Sometimes it hurts when we are challenged to grow emotionally. However, that growth is what leads us from childhood to adulthood. If you fail to make that progression you become a fatally flawed adult. When that occurs often enough, we become truly dysfunctional people who blame everyone else for our problems or flaws.

For those of you who don't want the above "Dr Phil" lecture let me me summarize as follows:
Grow the F*ck up and do what you're proud of vs. what you need to be defensive about.

RJDINER I agree . . .Wow . . .yeah . . . ladies chill the hey out. Emotions are on overload here and that is off the board time.

I commented only on the question and personal experience elsewhere . . . did not realize there was a drama situation going on.

Like I've said . . . I get it and many of us have been in a space of going beyond the hobby. . . time for internal searching and I wish the best for y'all . .. ( sp correct now

Funny how only one person has taken this thread off of topic and accused others of outing personal info? I did not see anywhere in Aidan's post about how some of the people involved from her personal experiences were named. Hell, if you want to personal, some might have thought she was talking about me and my hubby.

For those who do not know, he is a well known hobbyist here in Dallas. I am the one who set up the first appt. for him to see Aidan. Did I get jealous? Not at all. When she comes to Dallas or we are in a city near her, we try to see her and hang out. If he wants to see her, GREAT. IF he wants to see someone else, no problem. I am even trying to get him to book her for my birthday present for us, but that is a whole other topic.

The point of this thread was to see if a guy would still see his buddy's ATF even if the guy knew his buddy has a strong connection with the ATF. IT was also asked if being friends with a hobbyist has hurt a lady's business.

I will go ahead and openly share some of my personal experiences now. I am married to a hobbyist and it has hurt my business at times. His buddies will not see me out of respect to him. Do I get mad? No, I understand that is just how some people are wired. It is the good ole boy code. Does he get mad if they decide to see me? No not at all. He knows I love what I do and is actually happy it is with someone who he knows will treat me right.

To make things even more interesting, my hubby has an ATF he sees on a regular basis and has a very strong connection with. Was I at first a bit concerned about it and maybe a bit jealous? Yes, in the beginning I did have some concerns and we handled it like adults. In fact, she is now my best friend and I see her more often than he does. When I am in Dallas and home, I see her every day as she comes over to check on me and my kids.

I also met a hobbyist about 5 months ago who I had an instant strong connection with. The connection was off the charts on the physical end and we have also became really good friends. He probably knows more about me than some who have known me the entire 10 years I have been in this business. Do I get jealous if he sees another provider? Not at all. In fact, I encourage it.

So, why did I share all of this? Because at the end of the day, we are all human. Yes, if we stay in this business long enough we will met someone and connect with them in more ways than one. Yes, as providers we share one of the most personal connections you can with someone, it is called intimacy. Can it be incredible with one person and almost addicting? Yes.

We still need to remember at the end of the day we all have real lives and we do not own anyone. We especially do not own someone who is in the hobby even if we do share an incredible connection with them. Last time I checked, none of us own anybody. I am married and do not think I own my husband. I want him to enjoy this hobby as much as I do and let it be our outlet for fun and some incredible experiences we might even share together along the way...

Like it has been stated over and over, if any of us are having jealousy issues about others in the hobby, maybe you need to step back and re-evaluate why you are here...

I've been been following this thread for 2 days and someone needs to start taking their meds and chill. If one reacts so violently and personalizes a conversation like this, then, one needs to look within. If that person finds their behavior is wrong, then change it. If it's right, embrace it. If it's wrong, don't attack others for pointing it out.
Sometimes it hurts when we are challenged to grow emotionally. However, that growth is what leads us from childhood to adulthood. If you fail to make that progression you become a fatally flawed adult. When that occurs often enough, we become truly dysfunctional people who blame everyone else for our problems or flaws.

For those of you who don't want the above "Dr Phil" lecture let me me summarize as follows:
Grow the F*ck up and do what you're proud of vs. what you need to be defensive about. Originally Posted by rjdiner

rjdiner,

I gotta tell you man...it became personal when Aidan posted about personal experiences that involved active members of the site. She knows that #4 was designed to illicit a response from two people. When people use open forum for passive aggressive messages that only a couple people understand it generally ends badly. I know who #1, #2, and #3 are and I'm really surprised #1 hasn't responded yet, if #2 is a member here I'm sure he'll react poorly in a different way and #3 I'm sure is getting a good laugh out of this. No one is "off their meds" and I wish this thread would die...because it's become a fucking train wreck.

Maybe this should have been posted in the Men's Lounge...that way the guys could have responded accordingly and all this personal crap would have been avoided.

LAP

This thread is closed.