How Do Firstimers Get Verified To Be Able To Meet A Provider?

Some ladies do require 2 references, but not everyone does. Some will rely on alternate screening methods. I would be leery of anyone who does not require screening.

Or you can get privately screened thru the provider using whatever method she requests. Originally Posted by MWCompanions

Thank you for the rational comments. Screening is all about trust, safety, and compatability. Each lady needs to do what SHE is comfortable with, and each client needs to make sure he is comfortable with the information they give out.

I COMPLETELY agree with Evie's comments: "As a provider I do NOT rely on my gut instict alone. That is ridiculous" and "There are ways we can screen you even if you don't want to provide us with vivid details about yourself. You'd be surprised at the tools the internet provides. Anyone with even an iota of computer/internet knowledge knows this. Ladies who get into this business, if they're smart, do their research & learn their way around technology to protect themselves."

I have been screened this way several times, and part of that comes from the exact communications that some folks are complaining about!

I'm glad I found this thread, very informative. thank You. Originally Posted by fatoldguy

As with all things . . . things change (read further) . . . Then do your homework.......search the forums ...... and buy a Sam's Club 3 gallon jug of lube.

[quote=Wicked Milf;1562345]THANK YOU!

I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona.

And FYI, Cpalmson;

It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month? quote]

Sometimes I get very frustrated at your posts. You are a bright, interesting person but you can be very myopic at times--and stuborn.

"I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona."

You are wrong on several counts here.

First, it is not only men. Unfortunately a number of the women do not want to get into a cat fight about it because it does hurt their business.

Second, You keep talking about forgoing screening when what was said did not talk about forgoing screening. You jumped to that part of the conclusion.

Third, who said anything about claiming to be an "important" person anywhere? There is a big difference between saying "you can tell a lot about a person by what they post and who they review" and the kind of comment you insinuate, "I'm a big shot--you should see me because I'm important and can make or break you!". Please, disagree with the post made, but don't create your own version of the post to argue about.

As to "It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month? "

Well, that answer depends upon the circumstances and the lady involved.

A few examples in my case would include:

--Providing information on a city the lady was traveling to for the first time. If it is a city I know I will often offer info on hotels, resturants, sites, shopping, etc. It is often appriciated, and I will usually touch base after she has visited and see if she can add any information to the travel package for the next visitor I send it to.

--I have had several long, involved exchanges with ladies who posted on the boards about being outed to their family (parents or kids). I have had more experience in that than I would like, and am willing to share thoughts with others.

--I have talked with many about prepairing to leave the business from the first day they start--so that if and when the day comes they CAN leave and not feel trapped.

--I've talked with a lady who lost her son to a drunk driver.

--I've talked with a lot of ladies--long conversations and short--about a lot of follow-up from posts they or I made on a board.

And you know what? It is often the lady who extends the conversation, wants to follow up a couple e-mails with a phone call, or evolves it into a recurring talk about life, kids, hobbies, reading, or whatever else. There is a lady who would call once a week or so and we'd talk 2 or 3 hours at a time about a very difficult time she was going through. One lady now is going back to school after 15 years away and we talk daily (at her request) about her progress, her roadblocks, how to ballance school, kids, and working, etc.

Most of these do not start as an attempt to woe them, or with any knowledge that we will ever be in the same city. But after a while one--or both--of us decide we do want to meet. And by that time she often knows far more about me than a lady would from "standard" screening alone.

I find it insulting that you want to dictate who is allowed to talk with whom for how long about what.

If your going to quote someone. PLEASE don't write within their comments, as your comments can't be deciphered.





[quote=Old-T;1562669]

THANK YOU!

I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona.

And FYI, Cpalmson;

It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month? quote]

Sometimes I get very frustrated at your posts. You are a bright, interesting person but you can be very myopic at times--and stuborn.

"I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona."

You are wrong on several counts here.

First, it is not only men. Unfortunately a number of the women do not want to get into a cat fight about it because it does hurt their business.

Second, You keep talking about forgoing screening when what was said did not talk about forgoing screening. You jumped to that part of the conclusion.

Third, who said anything about claiming to be an "important" person anywhere? There is a big difference between saying "you can tell a lot about a person by what they post and who they review" and the kind of comment you insinuate, "I'm a big shot--you should see me because I'm important and can make or break you!". Please, disagree with the post made, but don't create your own version of the post to argue about.

As to "It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month? "

Well, that answer depends upon the circumstances and the lady involved.

A few examples in my case would include:

--Providing information on a city the lady was traveling to for the first time. If it is a city I know I will often offer info on hotels, resturants, sites, shopping, etc. It is often appriciated, and I will usually touch base after she has visited and see if she can add any information to the travel package for the next visitor I send it to.

--I have had several long, involved exchanges with ladies who posted on the boards about being outed to their family (parents or kids). I have had more experience in that than I would like, and am willing to share thoughts with others.

--I have talked with many about prepairing to leave the business from the first day they start--so that if and when the day comes they CAN leave and not feel trapped.

--I've talked with a lady who lost her son to a drunk driver.

--I've talked with a lot of ladies--long conversations and short--about a lot of follow-up from posts they or I made on a board.

And you know what? It is often the lady who extends the conversation, wants to follow up a couple e-mails with a phone call, or evolves it into a recurring talk about life, kids, hobbies, reading, or whatever else. There is a lady who would call once a week or so and we'd talk 2 or 3 hours at a time about a very difficult time she was going through. One lady now is going back to school after 15 years away and we talk daily (at her request) about her progress, her roadblocks, how to ballance school, kids, and working, etc.

Most of these do not start as an attempt to woe them, or with any knowledge that we will ever be in the same city. But after a while one--or both--of us decide we do want to meet. And by that time she often knows far more about me than a lady would from "standard" screening alone.

I find it insulting that you want to dictate who is allowed to talk with whom for how long about what. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

I think it does happen where ladies get presurred into a seccion with someone who is we'll known. Example someone who say is top reviewer on TER. Hell lets face it I've heard rumors where those hobbist have gotten free dates. The provider might feel that this person could do great things for her business or if things didn't work out, said review could ruin her reputation and she would have to find a new identity. In the end it is up to the ladies who they see and we guys just have to put up with it or move on.

Just sign up for the verification sites, like date-check and preferred411 and then like especially on preferred411 it shows if the provider is newbie friendly or not. And like some other people said you just contact her and go through a few other screening ways and then once you see her. There you have it.

And then she can also give you the ok and reference on datecheck or preferred411 after you see her. Its a lot of great advice here. Have fun and good luck.

Just sign up for the verification sites, like date-check and preferred411 and then like especially on preferred411 it shows if the provider is newbie friendly or not. And like some other people said you just contact her and go through a few other screening ways and then once you see her. There you have it.

And then she can also give you the ok and reference on datecheck or preferred411 after you see her. Its a lot of great advice here. Have fun and good luck. Originally Posted by erica_love

Thats what I did when I first started. I was on date check and p411. I got rid of Date check as I didn't see the need for 2 of them. Screening is an understandable must for a provider. The great part of it is when you are both relaxed about who you are seeing then the session is usually that much better. I only do outcalls because I want to be safe from the things that can happen to a hobbyist and being a highly verifiable hobbyist I have no problem with them coming to me. The downside is if they won't do an outcall I just won't see them.

Some providers are NOT newbie friendly and say so! But let's not forget the many providers out there that will take a newbie and light them up like a Christmas tree! I Love Them!

I think it does happen where ladies get presurred into a seccion with someone who is we'll known. Example someone who say is top reviewer on TER. Hell lets face it I've heard rumors where those hobbist have gotten free dates. Originally Posted by rrabbit6926

Unfortunately you are right, it does happen. And under the old ownership it happened a lot at that site. Several good ladies (by that I mean good people) who did not do so had their reputations ruined. That kind of extortion is absolutely wrong.

But I don't think that kind of pressuring was CP's point, at least it is not the way I read it.

i would be weary of a provider that DIDN'T ask for any sort of verification...


p411 helped tremendously my first encounter years back on ASPD

Let me set the record straight.

First, I've talked with providers via e-mail for up to a month before a date. Here's why. I had a planned business trip. I knew when and where. I started doing my research (early as normal). I saw a provider's ad who caught my attention. I contacted her and told her about my planned trip to her area. This e-mail exchanged back and forth took about 5 days. Then 2 weeks before, I asked if she was going to still be available. This led to sporadic e-mails about various things. Then 2 days before our date we finalized things. I sent her the references I had at the time and explained my situation. She accepted my references and set up a date. So, yes, one can have an ongoing month long conversation and set up a date. I'm sure our conversation made her feel more comfortable with me.

As for not going through screening, I NEVER asked for it. This has happened twice. I OFFERED to give references and/or P411 info. The ladies said it was not needed. I never pressured anyone. BTW, I would NEVER pressure a provider into this type of situation or pressure for a freebie. That is just so sleezy.

[quote=Wicked Milf;1563080]If your going to quote someone. PLEASE don't write within their comments, as your comments can't be deciphered.

I'm sorry it was difficult to follow. When I reply to long e-mails with a long reply there is no perfect way to reply. If I put my comments all at the end (or beginning) it is sometimes difficult to tell what part of the original post a comment of mine is referring to.

I probably should have color coded my last post in reply to yours. I went back to edit it but it seems the editing time had expired. I'll post it again here--color coded this time. The parts of the post I am commenting on in black, my comments in blue. Hopefully that makes it easier to follow--I know I can be a bit longwinded at times.

==========================

Originally Posted by Wicked Milf
THANK YOU!

Sometimes I get very frustrated at your posts. You are a bright, interesting person but you can be very myopic at times--and stuborn.

"I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona."

You are wrong on several counts here.

First, it is not only men. Unfortunately a number of the women do not want to get into a cat fight about it because it does hurt their business.

Second, You keep talking about forgoing screening when what was said did not talk about forgoing screening. You jumped to that part of the conclusion.

Third, who said anything about claiming to be an "important" person anywhere? There is a big difference between saying "you can tell a lot about a person by what they post and who they review" and the kind of comment you insinuate, "I'm a big shot--you should see me because I'm important and can make or break you!". Please, disagree with the post made, but don't create your own version of the post to argue about.

As to "It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month? "

Well, that answer depends upon the circumstances and the lady involved.

A few examples in my case would include:

--Providing information on a city the lady was traveling to for the first time. If it is a city I know I will often offer info on hotels, resturants, sites, shopping, etc. It is often appriciated, and I will usually touch base after she has visited and see if she can add any information to the travel package for the next visitor I send it to.

--I have had several long, involved exchanges with ladies who posted on the boards about being outed to their family (parents or kids). I have had more experience in that than I would like, and am willing to share thoughts with others.

--I have talked with many about prepairing to leave the business from the first day they start--so that if and when the day comes they CAN leave and not feel trapped.

--I've talked with a lady who lost her son to a drunk driver.

--I've talked with a lot of ladies--long conversations and short--about a lot of follow-up from posts they or I made on a board.

And you know what? It is often the lady who extends the conversation, wants to follow up a couple e-mails with a phone call, or evolves it into a recurring talk about life, kids, hobbies, reading, or whatever else. There is a lady who would call once a week or so and we'd talk 2 or 3 hours at a time about a very difficult time she was going through. One lady now is going back to school after 15 years away and we talk daily (at her request) about her progress, her roadblocks, how to ballance school, kids, and working, etc.

Most of these do not start as an attempt to woe them, or with any knowledge that we will ever be in the same city. But after a while one--or both--of us decide we do want to meet. And by that time she often knows far more about me than a lady would from "standard" screening alone.

I find it insulting that you want to dictate who is allowed to talk with whom for how long about what.

well i hate to jump into a discussion that has unfortunately has become kinda heated,but maybe i can bring it back to the issues that were germane to the original question.

my main question is about the highly endorsed p411.

1. how discreet are they when they call your employer? if you give them specific instructions to only talk to a certain person at your job will they follow the instructions? has anyone ever had a problem with them in the past?(if you want to pm me instead of outing yourself in open against such an prevalent force thats fine as well)

2. what kinda of other info does p411 ask for? but more specifically i see mention that even with p411 and no refs that the provider will often want to do her own screening as well, so what kind of other info can i expect to be asked for? example : is it gonna be the same kinda of info that p411 already asked for or is it additional info.

none p411 question for other hobbiest:
before reading about all the screening and other issues i was just gonna use my normal everyday cell phone(that relays my real name on caller id land lines btw) i guess after thinking about it that it would be best to get a diff phone# for the hobby? i don't plan on being active enough to warrent another phone, but then again i guess using your main number would open you up to security issues. has any hobbyist ever been threatened with being outed to wifes,etc... once the provider knew there detailed info? hope that question doesn't shock some providers but there are bad apples on both sides of every issue. just look to some of the alerts to confirm.

i am too trusting by nature and it has burned me in the past so i am all about only meeting with highly recommended providers and i can see their wishes for the same when it comes to making appointments

Well anyways i am glad i have reviewed this board and thought about things more in dept as i think it will keep me from making some bad decisions.

FYI: last time i did any hobby work was at a place called escape in houston(if that tells ya how long its been) that place was the best IMHO. also i have been taken by a so called provider b4. 350 down the drain.

any positive response is always appreciated.

I'm not a hobbyist. So I can't answer the questions pertaining to P411 and what Gina might ask of you & your employer. You might want to ask her.

As for using your personal phone. As a woman, I say no.
Especially if it shows your real name on caller ID.
Not to mention the trail you leave behind from the incoming/outgoing #'s to the text messages you may send or receive.

Buying a cheap throw away hobby phone is best. And one of the best places to hide it, is taped to the inside (fr back upper side) of your trunk where no one would ever think of looking. Make sure it's off when your not using it. *sound* too. And make sure you use strong tape.

I've mentioned this idea sometime back and I've had quite a few men say that they've used that advice and it's been a godsend for them.

Also, make sure that you also only use HOBBY related emails too. Never from your work email.

Good luck.

well i hate to jump into a discussion that has unfortunately has become kinda heated,but maybe i can bring it back to the issues that were germane to the original question.

my main question is about the highly endorsed p411.

1. how discreet are they when they call your employer? if you give them specific instructions to only talk to a certain person at your job will they follow the instructions? has anyone ever had a problem with them in the past?(if you want to pm me instead of outing yourself in open against such an prevalent force thats fine as well)

2. what kinda of other info does p411 ask for? but more specifically i see mention that even with p411 and no refs that the provider will often want to do her own screening as well, so what kind of other info can i expect to be asked for? example : is it gonna be the same kinda of info that p411 already asked for or is it additional info.

none p411 question for other hobbiest:
before reading about all the screening and other issues i was just gonna use my normal everyday cell phone(that relays my real name on caller id land lines btw) i guess after thinking about it that it would be best to get a diff phone# for the hobby? i don't plan on being active enough to warrent another phone, but then again i guess using your main number would open you up to security issues. has any hobbyist ever been threatened with being outed to wifes,etc... once the provider knew there detailed info? hope that question doesn't shock some providers but there are bad apples on both sides of every issue. just look to some of the alerts to confirm.

i am too trusting by nature and it has burned me in the past so i am all about only meeting with highly recommended providers and i can see their wishes for the same when it comes to making appointments

Well anyways i am glad i have reviewed this board and thought about things more in dept as i think it will keep me from making some bad decisions.

FYI: last time i did any hobby work was at a place called escape in houston(if that tells ya how long its been) that place was the best IMHO. also i have been taken by a so called provider b4. 350 down the drain.

any positive response is always appreciated. Originally Posted by delayed_action

Thank you for color coding your comments. Made it easier to read.

While you may disagree with my opinion from a previous response. I'm going to disagree with yours as well. As I don't see eye to eye with you do on what you posted. And that's ok. We view things differently.
Doesn't make one or the other right or wrong.
And I'm going to leave it at that.



[quote=Old-T;1564480]

If your going to quote someone. PLEASE don't write within their comments, as your comments can't be deciphered.

I'm sorry it was difficult to follow. When I reply to long e-mails with a long reply there is no perfect way to reply. If I put my comments all at the end (or beginning) it is sometimes difficult to tell what part of the original post a comment of mine is referring to.

I probably should have color coded my last post in reply to yours. I went back to edit it but it seems the editing time had expired. I'll post it again here--color coded this time. The parts of the post I am commenting on in black, my comments in blue. Hopefully that makes it easier to follow--I know I can be a bit longwinded at times.

==========================

Originally Posted by Wicked Milf
THANK YOU!

Sometimes I get very frustrated at your posts. You are a bright, interesting person but you can be very myopic at times--and stuborn.

"I find it rather insulting that pretty much *only* the men agree that it's OK to forgo proper screening and try to slither their way into seeing a lady behind locked doors, by *wooing* them and or by way of their so called important board persona."

You are wrong on several counts here.

First, it is not only men. Unfortunately a number of the women do not want to get into a cat fight about it because it does hurt their business.

Second, You keep talking about forgoing screening when what was said did not talk about forgoing screening. You jumped to that part of the conclusion.

Third, who said anything about claiming to be an "important" person anywhere? There is a big difference between saying "you can tell a lot about a person by what they post and who they review" and the kind of comment you insinuate, "I'm a big shot--you should see me because I'm important and can make or break you!". Please, disagree with the post made, but don't create your own version of the post to argue about.

As to "It should never take a guy over a month for a lady *get to know you* before you decide to book a date with her. I'm curious as to what *all* you relayed to her during that whole month? "

Well, that answer depends upon the circumstances and the lady involved.

A few examples in my case would include:

--Providing information on a city the lady was traveling to for the first time. If it is a city I know I will often offer info on hotels, resturants, sites, shopping, etc. It is often appriciated, and I will usually touch base after she has visited and see if she can add any information to the travel package for the next visitor I send it to.

--I have had several long, involved exchanges with ladies who posted on the boards about being outed to their family (parents or kids). I have had more experience in that than I would like, and am willing to share thoughts with others.

--I have talked with many about prepairing to leave the business from the first day they start--so that if and when the day comes they CAN leave and not feel trapped.

--I've talked with a lady who lost her son to a drunk driver.

--I've talked with a lot of ladies--long conversations and short--about a lot of follow-up from posts they or I made on a board.

And you know what? It is often the lady who extends the conversation, wants to follow up a couple e-mails with a phone call, or evolves it into a recurring talk about life, kids, hobbies, reading, or whatever else. There is a lady who would call once a week or so and we'd talk 2 or 3 hours at a time about a very difficult time she was going through. One lady now is going back to school after 15 years away and we talk daily (at her request) about her progress, her roadblocks, how to ballance school, kids, and working, etc.

Most of these do not start as an attempt to woe them, or with any knowledge that we will ever be in the same city. But after a while one--or both--of us decide we do want to meet. And by that time she often knows far more about me than a lady would from "standard" screening alone.

I find it insulting that you want to dictate who is allowed to talk with whom for how long about what. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf