Stupid Jokes Thread

why are women like floor tile?
lay them right the 1st time, you can walk all over them Originally Posted by knotty man

I've always heard women tell this one with men as the tile...lol

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice...

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! ......How many is a brazilian?"

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?


A: They don't have balls to scratch.

1st off ,let me preface these jokes by saying. i really do love women,but these are too funny not to post.
Whats the 1st thing a woman does upon leaving the battered womens shelter?
The dishes! ....if she knows whats good for her
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing!...you done told the bitch. TWICE!!

Secret to a Happy Marriage


It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
It is important to find a woman that loves to have sex.
And MOST importantly…

It is important that these three women never meet.

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived?"

"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears. "What's the matter?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies?”.....

Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?

A. Call her and tell her.

If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours.

Followed by a global food shortage.

How do you keep a room full of sex-starved men and women, obsessed with hobby funds, in suspense?


Tell everyone tomorrow....

Once upon a time, a cow, a chicken and a pig went to a BBQ.........The End.

What did the pig say when the butcher caught him by the tail?

This is the end.

Two men walk into a bar.......

The third one ducked...

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.