I personally will give respect automatically, (I also give most people the benefit of the doubt) up until something is said or done to lose that respect. I think what Nina says with regard to the written word is true. You cannot hear a person's voice or the tone of it when they have written something, nor see body posture or facial expression. So much of what we take in when talking to someone face to face is more visual and sound than anything else. If someone says something in person, then writes the same thing they said in a chat forum, most likely some people will interpret it completely different in written format than they would if they were in front of the person listening to them making the same statement/questions.
I think some people have poor writing skills, poor grammar, English etc; and they have the most difficult times with communicating effectively on a internet chat board.
Originally Posted by Bebe Le Strange
I agree totally with this, Bebe, I am that way too. Or so I thought. We've had a discussion here previously about what we THOUGHT was respect, but it turned out to be politeness. Charles is right. When you actually LOOK at the definition of respect, you don't initially do so. You are just nice to a person until you learn more about them, and deem them worthy of respect. I think we call it that because that's what our parents told us we were doing. Respecting our elders. Your fifth grade teacher was mean as hell, but you still had to respond with 'yes ma'am'. You only really gained respect for her after you understood why she was the way she was.
I have very few people I dislike, since I allow people to follow their own paths. It's not my purpose to have EVERYONE agree with me, just understand where I'm coming from. Even if my opinion differs from someone, I respect them for having one. Even if the opinion (in my opinion) comes from ignorance. If I can be a voice of reason or offer a new perspective, just to give them something to think about, then I've done enough.
The problem with communication for me is consideration. It's not necessarily what is said, but how it's said. I recently had an upsetting issue, and when a certain negative-communicating person in my life was informed of this issue she called me. When she started with her normal tone I asked her this question: "If I were on a bridge about to jump, would what you say to me make me step off the edge or jump in?' In that very moment, you have to care if a person is hurt by what you say or not.
It is true that you cannot communicate with everyone the same. Some people need to be given that tough love, and some need to be handled with kid gloves for what you say to be received (that is the true reason we open our mouths or move our hands across the keyboard, right? Otherwise we just sound like Charlie Brown's teacher, and speaking out was just a waste of energy). We just have to make the choice to be considerate enough to care which approach to use.
I'm afraid these new Mods are about to come looking for mean ole me!
)))) Too funny! "This is not match.com". Honey some people really think it is 
