On Being Kept...

NEWS ALERT...a woman is about to agree with Bladtinzu 100%

I think you're completely correct here. I think it is very rare for any woman to get $15-30k a month. And that after negotiation, most fall right into your price range. I know exactly one lady in this situation and coincidentally she is older and, quite frankly, not that hot at all. But everyone seems happy.

And I also agree that many men, if they are spending that much, would like diversity instead of basically tied to another wife. Originally Posted by LilMynx69

That last part is so right. Why get a second wife? Hell why have the first for that matter?

"Starter wives/husbands" are good learning experiences.

-Lisa Lyonz of Lafayette, LA

I can break it down even further. Most of the SB's asking 15-30k a month are doing so due to negotiations taking place. So she asks 30k a month. Is she worth it? Doubtful but give her credit for marketing herself out of a lot of guys range which makes them wonder is she worth it. Yet she is in her mid 30's. Kind of in the end of the age of shelf life for any SB. She will take less than 8k a month if your willing to go that route. Or you can get one younger, hotter, and in most cases for a third to half of that 8k.

As for a kept woman.. Just not my thing. I like diversity. Hell I usually change up SB's every 3 months and the longest I have kept one was 6 months. Some guys like the long term thing. I don't. Originally Posted by bladtinzu

You know, I've noticed the same thing. The younger girls, who seem like they are so much more "in demand" can be found for much, much less than older women. But at the same time, the older women (who still aren't that old, 30-40) seem to be the ones getting more.

I think it may have something to do with the fact that the average 20 year old is not going to have the same life experience, so why pay them the big bucks to stick around?

Hooker mentality.

Again, here we go again.

Not worth the price, money money money.
Time with client (Sugar daddy) is not worth the money, apartment, gift etc..

See why these topics dont go well on this site??

I am going to continue to repeat myself as everyone else will. Originally Posted by Gotyour6

Well, in defense of "hooker mentality", would you like to have to constantly cancel plans or get yourself together even if you're not feeling well, to be at someone else's beck and call?

I don't think it's so much about the money (though certainly, that can be the case), but more about personal boundaries, and being in control of your own schedule.

(This next part is NOT about the girls who work for exactly what they need today, but about the ones who take themselves at least half way seriously.)

Escorting, being a SB, and being kept all offer different kinds of security, and it all depends on what the girl is comfortable with. Some prefer escorting, which is a little to much higher volume, because they are more in control of their schedule. She can post an ad when a bill comes up, or she can plan stuff months in advance, whatever works best for her and her situation. Others like being a sugar baby or being kept, because the trade offs between money, time, and volume are a better fit for her. It's not that girls can't see the pros and cons, it's just different strokes for different folks.

Well, in defense of "hooker mentality", would you like to have to constantly cancel plans or get yourself together even if you're not feeling well, to be at someone else's beck and call?
. Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

Uh, has nothing to do with anything I posted and I have no clue what the hell you are talking about.

You are either confused about what I said or you are reading something someone else wrote

Hooker mentality is when you go out on a date with someone and expect to get paid by the hour for it.

Always looking for money when you are together
A nice dinner out wouldn't do with ut getting paid for it.

Hell, I heard one girl say you need to see if they have a meet and greet fee that is less without sex.

Beck and call when you are sick????
We aren't fucking animals. We develop a little feeling with the girl we are with. It is normally long term and it takes a while for trust to build to obtain a credit card in their name with my account. Hooker mentality is if you aren't getting paid you aren't with the guy.

Picture me giving you my credit card and telling you if you need something, go ahead and pick it up.

I call you about a dinner date and have you go out and get a dress. Just use the card. Need gas? Food, just want to go out with the girls and live like a rock star? Use the card.

That takes time and time is money to a hooker on the short term. That is how most think, short term.

Dont worry sweetie, I dont fuck my girl while she is blowing her nose. I do however bring her something to eat, make sure she has comfy warm, soft PJs and I clean up her place because she is sick.

Keep thinking like that though. Short term.

Well, in defense of "hooker mentality", would you like to have to constantly cancel plans or get yourself together even if you're not feeling well, to be at someone else's beck and call?

I don't think it's so much about the money (though certainly, that can be the case), but more about personal boundaries, and being in control of your own schedule.

(This next part is NOT about the girls who work for exactly what they need today, but about the ones who take themselves at least half way seriously.)

Escorting, being a SB, and being kept all offer different kinds of security, and it all depends on what the girl is comfortable with. Some prefer escorting, which is a little to much higher volume, because they are more in control of their schedule. She can post an ad when a bill comes up, or she can plan stuff months in advance, whatever works best for her and her situation. Others like being a sugar baby or being kept, because the trade offs between money, time, and volume are a better fit for her. It's not that girls can't see the pros and cons, it's just different strokes for different folks. Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

Exactly! Like you said before, each one takes a certain temperament. I find it fascinating that you are flexible enough to have been all three. That makes you very special.

But it's not hard to understand that those who are attracted tithe flexibility of escorting are, many times, not suited to the rigidity of being kept.

You know, I've noticed the same thing. The younger girls, who seem like they are so much more "in demand" can be found for much, much less than older women. But at the same time, the older women (who still aren't that old, 30-40) seem to be the ones getting more.

I think it may have something to do with the fact that the average 20 year old is not going to have the same life experience, so why pay them the big bucks to stick around? Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

HOOKER MENTALITY!!!!!!

Always look at that money sweetheart.

Money money money give me give me give me

It is a question of what they need and want combined. Not how much they get out of it.

HOOKER MENTALITY!!!!!!

I have been doing this for years. Longer than I should have but I enjoy it.

I have to say I have never seen a stripper or "Provider" make it as a sugar baby. Never
The firm I worked for had more sugar babies with executives it looked like a day care center for college girls and not one was evver looking for a sugar daddy.

We will look for you. A kept woman? We will look for you.
The odds of a real sugar daddy approaching you is the same as me saying "I live in The United States, call me" then start dialing.

You will find a million guys looking for cheap pussy.

Uh, has nothing to do with anything I posted and I have no clue what the hell you are talking about.

You are either confused about what I said or you are reading something someone else wrote

Hooker mentality is when you go out on a date with someone and expect to get paid by the hour for it.

Always looking for money when you are together
A nice dinner out wouldn't do with ut getting paid for it.

Hell, I heard one girl say you need to see if they have a meet and greet fee that is less without sex.

Beck and call when you are sick????
We aren't fucking animals. We develop a little feeling with the girl we are with. It is normally long term and it takes a while for trust to build to obtain a credit card in their name with my account. Hooker mentality is if you aren't getting paid you aren't with the guy.

Picture me giving you my credit card and telling you if you need something, go ahead and pick it up.

I call you about a dinner date and have you go out and get a dress. Just use the card. Need gas? Food, just want to go out with the girls and live like a rock star? Use the card.

That takes time and time is money to a hooker on the short term. That is how most think, short term.

Dont worry sweetie, I dont fuck my girl while she is blowing her nose. I do however bring her something to eat, make sure she has comfy warm, soft PJs and I clean up her place because she is sick.

Keep thinking like that though. Short term. Originally Posted by Gotyour6

If you read my whole post, you will see that we are very much talking about the same thing. "Hooker mentality", which is little interest in investing a lot of time into the relationship, and short term thinking, which you seem to have confused with "hooker mentality".

Just because a girl doesn't want to be so involved, doesn't mean she's thinking short term. Just because she does, doesn't mean she's thinking long term either. Other commitments, personal comfort zone, and what she wants out of the situation all have an impact on what situation works best for each girl.

Everyone is looking for something here, and it's very likely that it's different from what you are. That doesn't mean that those other people are doing it wrong, and it doesn't mean each girl fits under the blanket judgements that are so popular on this board.

Real short term thinking is "Oh, rents due. I need $1,000 from somewhere". Not acknowledging what kind of work environment works best for you. Or, "hooker mentality", as you so elegantly put it ;-)

HOOKER MENTALITY!!!!!!

Always look at that money sweetheart.

Money money money give me give me give me

It is a question of what they need and want combined. Not how much they get out of it.

HOOKER MENTALITY!!!!!!

I have been doing this for years. Longer than I should have but I enjoy it.

I have to say I have never seen a stripper or "Provider" make it as a sugar baby. Never
The firm I worked for had more sugar babies with executives it looked like a day care center for college girls and not one was evver looking for a sugar daddy.

We will look for you. A kept woman? We will look for you.
The odds of a real sugar daddy approaching you is the same as me saying "I live in The United States, call me" then start dialing.

You will find a million guys looking for cheap pussy. Originally Posted by Gotyour6

Ok, I just want to be clear I understand what you're saying.

Are you saying the older women have more of a "hooker mentality" because they make more? It can't possibly be, you know, because they can nab a guy who wants to give her more money because they make a better legitimate companion than the average 20 year old? Or are you once again saying that I have a hooker mentality, for responding to posts about what SD's pay their SB's?

And what exactly is "making it" as a sugar baby? Is it an amount of time? Is it the amount of personal involvement? I know tons of girls who have had sugar baby arrangements that eventually went back to escorting. The money dried up, they got tired of each other, the wife found out, whatever. Did these women somehow fail?

The point of being kept, a sugar baby, or an escort is to get what you want and need. While the arrangements may vary, the motivation stays the same, no matter who pays when she goes shopping.

I actually think the two of you are actually pretty close to being on the same page on this...

GY6- what you call Hooker Mentality is what I've been calling Stripper Mentality for years. But while I've never seen a stripper who was a successful SB, I have seen some escorts successfully become SBs or kept.

The transition between escort and being "kept" needs to be carefully considered since an escort could potentially lose all her clientele to serve the needs of just one, who could bail on her at any time, and she left to start all over. Do unto others my friends.

A kept woman? We will look for you. Originally Posted by Gotyour6

The curious thing is that once a guy figures out that I'm kept, or actually willing to kept, they quite often start to offering me money and gifts to spend time with them. I don't ask for it and doesn't happen all the time, but I frequently get money slipped into my purse or pocket. I don't advertise my kept status, but eventually people figure out something is up because I simply don't work enough to support my lifestyle.

Many men know that they can't afford to keep a woman full time, but still are intrigued by the concept of giving me money or things in exchange for my attention. And not necessarily sex...but rather time and attention.

I asked a generous male friend of mine why this was and if he considered me a prostitute and he said, "No! You don't charge by the hour! You're just the type of lady who gentlemen enjoy giving money to because you appreciate it. And because it makes us feel like real men when we do it."

This is my second kept situation. I learned much from my first and got much much smarter this time. And while I was certainly open to the possibility of finding another benefactor after the last one passed away, it's not something you can push. And quite frankly, i was grieving my close friends death and wasn't ready to be in any kind of relationship. So, I lived on my own and dated normally for 3 years before I happened to stray into my current situation.

However, nothing lasts forever...especially when dealing with an older gentleman. I'm not sure what the future holds when my current situation comes to an end. I'm trying to be smart and think long term. I have continued to work not because I have to but because I am worried it will be harder to go back later if I leave now.

Though, working is actually a blessing because it means I have an added degree of freedom. It's my excuse when I want to do something on my own. When I want to travel, it's due to work, etc.

I'm not sure what the future holds, but the present is a whole lot of fun.

Thanks for giving me a place for my ramblings. One of he hardest thing about my situation is the secrecy that goes along with it. This board gives me an outlet.

The transition between escort and being "kept" needs to be carefully considered since an escort could potentially lose all her clientele to serve the needs of just one, who could bail on her at any time, and she left to start all over. Do unto others my friends. Originally Posted by Zhivago52

It definitely a risky situation. It's best to make a transition to being kept from a more traditional career. Most guys are not looking to keep a woman who is screwing a bunch of guys...

It's also a risk for a guy to spend a bunch of money upfront on a girl who may flake or turn out to be a bitch.

You know, I've noticed the same thing. The younger girls, who seem like they are so much more "in demand" can be found for much, much less than older women. But at the same time, the older women (who still aren't that old, 30-40) seem to be the ones getting more.

I think it may have something to do with the fact that the average 20 year old is not going to have the same life experience, so why pay them the big bucks to stick around? Originally Posted by Charlotte Breeze

True on the life experience. But they get this pie in the sky mentality and run with it. Only to settle for way less than they were asking. But that is also on crackpot sites like seeking arraignment which are rather worthless. I prefer to find my own in my own way. Seems to work and beats SA where you see 10 year old pictures and think your meeting with a hottie and she turns out to be a nottie.

And I think 35 is the extreme cut off for SB's (For most guys. Mine is 29).. Who wants a 40 year old SB when you can have 40 year old escorts and as many as you can shake your dick at..

True on the life experience. But they get this pie in the sky mentality and run with it. Only to settle for way less than they were asking. But that is also on crackpot sites like seeking arraignment which are rather worthless. I prefer to find my own in my own way. Seems to work and beats SA where you see 10 year old pictures and think your meeting with a hottie and she turns out to be a nottie.

And I think 35 is the extreme cut off for SB's (For most guys. Mine is 29).. Who wants a 40 year old SB when you can have 40 year old escorts and as many as you can shake your dick at.. Originally Posted by bladtinzu

I agree that 35 is probably the extreme cutoff...one of the many reasons I make a differentiation between being a SB and being kept since I'm past 35. Additionally, I have a higher level of education than my benefactor which just makes it seem silly that I'm any sort of "baby."

So, how do these arrangements usually start and end for you, Blad? I so agree that advertising for a SD/SB situation just seems odd and destined to fail...