Regular Clients Part Deux

Damn that's funny. You know what gives the thirst, all that salt. Originally Posted by FunInDFW

Right! There suuuuure are a lot of Lonely-ass, THIRSTY, whining-ass Mofos on here. I'm still trying to understand what it means to be " lonely". I have never felt that way.

Don't get mad because I'm calling you out for all that bitch-assed whining and shit. Tearing up and shit...

Great post and discussions/advice LA. I would think a lot of the ladies would love regulars that they are comfortable with and would establish a win/win situation.

To the extent that providers do indeed begin to take regular clients for granted, at least somewhat, here's what I've noticed:

-- If you're a five- or 10-minute wonder, the opportunity for MSOG, if it was ever there, begins to diminish.
-- The downside of her knowing what you like is that she'll choose to play it safe and cater to that, rather than suggesting something new or different (yeah, I know that the client shares some of the responsibility for suggesting something new).
-- If you bring gifts, the "thank yous" no longer come as frequently, or as enthusiastically.
-- If your gifts include something sexy, you probably won't see her wearing it.
-- She'll go from dressing like she's going out for a night on the town to looking like she's going to Walmart.
-- She'll suggest or hint at OTC activities that never transpire.

I was having a post-coital conversation with a provider recently, and the subject of me broadening my horizons came up. Naturally, she wouldn't have a problem with me seeing other providers, but when I asked her, "What if I didn't come back?", she replied with a smile, "Oh, you'll keep coming back." She's right, but I can't help but think that with that certainty comes a bit of complacency.

...and from a ladies perspective..
They can overstay.
They get their feelings hurt when you can't see them.
They expect OTC. You go to dinner afterwards once and it has to be every time. Unless of course the guy has other plans..
They don't post new reviews since they have already said all they feel they can say.
They show up late and don't really care that they are pushing the date in to other plans we may have.
They cancel thinking it's ok because they have helped us out so much financially.

The lists of complaints can go on and on, but in reality.. As long as you have communication the complaints shouldn't be there like that. If it's not working out, you find a new go to girl.

I have two amazing regulars that I had to leave behind in Las Vegas. We always kept things real. It was a mutual respect. In my years of providing, I have had some awesome regulars/repeats and then I have had some that I had to stop seeing. One went completely nuts and tried to out me to my family and random people from high school that I don't even speak to anymore.

We just have to learn to both respect each other and to communicate.

If someone starts cutting your time short, ask her if something is going on. And if she only has time for 45 minutes then to let you know and adjust the rate accordingly or schedule for another day.
If a guy overstays, don't be upset if we ask if you are looking to book a longer time.

Off to fork and cork.
Have a great weekend.

If she is one of your favorites do both of you a favor and talk about it. We as hobbyists are respectful of the providers feelings and if she is a good provider will recognized your desires as well and accommodate them as best she can.
She may have decided to share a room to save a little money and simply made a mistake this time. Let her know and if you can work it out......great if not then you know she is not as good as you thought and you may need to find someone that will be more sensitive to your desires. Originally Posted by gladius82

Rock solid advice here. Who knows what other factors came into play. Her and the roommate got wires crossed. Miscommunication. Who knows. Best course of action would have been to tell her how he felt and see what she did. If she valued the OP's business and wanted things to stay on track, she would probably make it right. If she didn't, then he would know where he stood and could move on.

Though I would say admitting to being butt hurt and posting a thread that could be seen as passive aggressive, does look a bit 'thirsty'. I almost feel like he may be a lot more upset about the end of the relationship than she would be.

Which is the hard reality of any ATF relationship. Yeah, they are our favorites and they appreciate our business. But we are likely one of many guys in that same boat with them. And while the 14 visits is a big deal to us, it probably gets washed away when it's compared to the number of sessions she did that year. Or regulars who do overnight or mulitple-hour visits.

While nobody likes to be taken for granted, I try to keep my expectations realistic...and communicate when they aren't being met.

The mindset must be that this is a professional relationship. I have a lawyer, I have a doctor, I have a provider. None of them are perfect but I always presume positive intent on their part just as I hope they presume positive intent on my part. We each have mutual respect. But if I conclude that respect is lacking I end a relationship. Any relationship. Finally, as the Buddha taught us , the cause of unhappiness is attachment. Joy is always found in the having, not the keeping. Good luck.

this is one heck of a thread.

L.A.,

i agree that a provider who knows how this sub-culture "should" work should not ... a) cut a session short on time, b) have roommate(s) needing the SAME room right after a session w/ the main provider, c) have roommate(s) who dont want other clients in the incall while she's entertaining her client, d) treat a client [regular or not] is a less than considerate way, or e) provide a bad session. the list goes on and on....

but there is should and never -and- there is real life.
cos we are all human beings w/ all the highs and lows, strengths and foibles, happiness and sadness.
good stuff happens, so-so stuff happens, less than good stuff happens, and horrible stuff happens.
all you can do is a) learn to recognize who did what [accountability] and b) learn how control how you react to what others do.
in your case, you could discuss it with her and then decide. or you could just think about it and decide on your own.

my suggestion is make up your own mind.
rarely, and i mean rarely, does discussing something like this w/ a provider come out well. it's usually a recipe for a disaster. outcomes i've seen first hand are a) denying she had any control over the situation [not true], b) blaming the roommate [absolving responsibilty], c) getting pissed at me for bringing it up [avoiding the issue], d) calling me a pussy for doing this over the phone or via email [ad hominem attacks]. in NONE of the situations where i've attempted to resolve an issue has the provider owned up to it and done something about it. and in all cases, i never went back and consulted w/ the provider again.

that's not to say your fav [or other providers] would not be willing to discuss this and change her behavior. i'm just saying "dont count on it."


in my opinion, "what a provider should do" and "how to discuss issues w/ a provider" are totally separate from you questioning yourself "what the hell am I even doing this for if I'm not even enjoying it and I leave a session feeling worse than before."
a long time ago [like 30+ yrs], a counselor told me "when the pain of doing something gets to be too much, you'll change your behavior."
in your case, if you dont like what she did, either do something about it or move on.


two other things.
in my book, a sure 275 in monthly income shouldnt even come into the discussion.
why a provider needs some money or what she does w/ that income is her business.
i dont think it should affect the intimacy, passion, and delites she wants to provide in the encounter.
others have vastly different ideas on this, but that's my view and will stick w/ it unless someone soundly convinces me otherwise.

and wrt this
"there is no way that event would have happened on a first or second visit to somebody who regularily participates on this board. ... unless I'm ready to burn that bridge she knows I wouldn't write a bad review of her.
Limiting my visits to once every two or three months would keep things fresh but not sure I can do it!"

again, just cos you think there should be no way that should have happened, it just did!

are you saying that you seriously would not let others know [in review or ML thread] if someone you visited frequently started giving you a runaround, cut your time short, or pulled some other b.s.??
ok, it's your decision, but i wouldnt let her "control" my decision about whether or not to inform others of her behavior.

finally, if you cant limit your visits, who can??

Well, my question would be if she is your ATF: are you her ATF as well? ...
If she is yours and you're not hers, this is a one way ticket only so thats why different expectations ...
She's your ATF but you're her client, she will treat you like a client (which presumes a fair and minimum standard) ... you're her ATF, she will treat you like an ATF ...

Some years ago one of the first ATFs I had, she told me: You are my ATF too and even though this is strictly bussines, I enjoy the time I am with you ... thats why I spend time OTC on dinner or just chatting ...

This is not only fucking like dogs IMO, we have ... hummmm preferences? ...

Finally, as the Buddha taught us , the cause of unhappiness is attachment. Joy is always found in the having, not the keeping. Good luck. Originally Posted by outoftheblue

This is what I'm saying. Of course it's not always about fucking like dogs; but, to me, this hobby is more about variety. I get the "ATF" thing in one sense. Ok yea, this chick has the most awesome CG/DT/CIM/Greek you've ever had; but, it's still a service that's being provided--and I mean that in the most respectful way.

I don't think it's "hobbying" when you try to have the kind of attachment that I've seen a lot of guys try to have with these ladies. It's more pseudo SD/SB type shit. Give these ladies their space. They've got other clients to take care of. I'm applauding these ladies who can show any reasonable amount of IOP with some these whiney Mofos.

I get that there is a risk of a bad session with somebody I've never seen before but not with an ATF...that should NEVER happen. Originally Posted by L.A.

You're exactly right and should be more careful going forward when you declare an ATF. If she was truly your ATF, you wouldn't need to post this thread.

i agree that a provider who knows how this sub-culture "should" work should not ... a) cut a session short on time, b) have roommate(s) needing the SAME room right after a session w/ the main provider, c) have roommate(s) who dont want other clients in the incall while she's entertaining her client, d) treat a client [regular or not] is a less than considerate way, or e) provide a bad session. Originally Posted by pmdelites

Well stated. A great provider or "ATF" for that matter, ensures you leave every session with the feeling of "no matter what", you're the most important person on her agenda. Even though you're well aware there are others she see on a regular, you at least feel like you're priority #1. A lot of guys loosely use the ATF title but have the slightest clue what it means.

i agree that a provider who knows how this sub-culture "should" work should not ... a) cut a session short on time, b) have roommate(s) needing the SAME room right after a session w/ the main provider, c) have roommate(s) who dont want other clients in the incall while she's entertaining her client, d) treat a client [regular or not] is a less than considerate way, or e) provide a bad session. Originally Posted by pmdelites

Well stated. A great provider or "ATF" for that matter, ensures you leave every session with the feeling of "no matter what", you're the most important person on her agenda. Even though you're well aware there are others she see on a regular, you at least feel like you're priority #1. A lot of guys loosely use the ATF title but have the slightest clue what it means. Originally Posted by greedy

just so that guys who go to the most recent post dont miss what i said after that...

"but there is should and never -and- there is real life.
cos we are all human beings w/ all the highs and lows, strengths and foibles, happiness and sadness.
good stuff happens, so-so stuff happens, less than good stuff happens, and horrible stuff happens.
all you can do is a) learn to recognize who did what [accountability] and b) learn how control how you react to what others do."