Something Funny...

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals ........very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now... Originally Posted by Von Spieler

Hate to pull an SL here but how is that joke hobby related???

So do you give yourself a point for getting off topic or how does that work



JK Von!!!! don't point me bro!!!

What do Al Quaida whores and the LA Laker's Cheerleader's have in common?
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Mandatory showers after four periods Originally Posted by scooterscuzz

LMAO!!!!

Hate to pull an SL here but how is that joke hobby related???

So do you give yourself a point for getting off topic or how does that work



JK Von!!!! don't point me bro!!! Originally Posted by a10bomb

More like half a point since it was a joke just not a hobby related one. He got it half right. LOL.

Was a cute and funny joke though.

KKA
XOXO

Im pleased everyone is enjoying the thread and contributing some hilarious pieces. Thanks and laugh on!

Here's a few:

What is the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer?
- A prostitute will stop fucking you when you're dead.

Two whores talking in a bar......
Whore 1: I made $500 last night and I feel like a bottle of champagne!
Whore 2: Well, I made $5000 last night and I feel like a pot of glue.

A prostitute had a slow night and decided to catch a cab home. When she arrived at her destination she explained to the cab driver that she had no money. She lifted her skirt and said, "Can you take it out of this?" The cab driver replied, " Do you have anything smaller?"

KKA
XOXO

I guess I had a blonde moment. I shall give myself an infraction and next time I see you A10, I'll buy you a beer after I take a drink 1st. Just ask yourself one question. Does Von backwash when he drinks from a bottle?

I guess I had a blonde moment. I shall give myself an infraction and next time I see you A10, I'll buy you a beer after I take a drink 1st. Just ask yourself one question. Does Von backwash when he drinks from a bottle? Originally Posted by Von Spieler

My hat is off to you VS, its not often that a mod admits to something less than absolute perfection (not that all mods have the slightest of imperfections). For the record, I will take the third pull off that beer, knowing the integrity of both you and KKA. Scoot

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.



No, you really do.

I guess I had a blonde moment. I shall give myself an infraction and next time I see you A10, I'll buy you a beer after I take a drink 1st. Just ask yourself one question. Does Von backwash when he drinks from a bottle? Originally Posted by Von Spieler

A woman walks into a Kalgoorlie accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,”What’s your occupation?”

“I’m a prostitute,” she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, “Let’s try to rephrase that.”

The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”. “No, that still won’t work. Try again.”

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”

The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?”

“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year”

“Ok, Poultry Farmer it is.”

What is the difference between a rooster and a street walker?

A rooster says "Cock-A-Doodle-Coo" and a street walker says "Any cock will do"

They didn't have to be good jokes, right?

A salesman on business in Vegas is in a bar. He is talking to a pretty woman for about a half hour when he realizes she is a hooker.

"I'll give you $400 for a mediocre blow job," he says.

"Honey," she replies, "for $400 I'll give you the blow job of a
lifetime!"

"You don't understand," he says, "I'm not horny, just homesick.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
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Full.

Who has some funny hobby related jokes? Originally Posted by KlassyKelliAnn

At the edge of the rain-forest in Brazil a lumber company was having a tough time identifying the type of trees that were being harvested and taken to the sawmill for processing. An elderly prostitute who had decided to take a second job applies at the lumber mill. She is quickly met with doubt as to what her talents would be in the lumber business. The foreman at the sawmill hears of her and decides to interview her. He asks "exactly what can you do?" She says "in all my years of working as a provider of pleasure, I have developed a unique talent, I can identify any kind of wood, just by the odor of the fresh cut tree" The foreman tells her "come back day after tomorrow and we will put you to the test, if you pass, we really need your skills, you will be hired". The next day he selects boards of known wood species and lays them out for her sampling. He also throws in a bogus piece of non-wood which is a length of plexiglass he has his secretary sit on for the day, he sets it as the last piece to be sniffed. The old blind hooker shows up the next morning for the test. She starts at one end of the table and quickly identifies ebony, teak, coco-bolo and even Kapok she arrives at the last "bogus' piece of wood, takes a sniff then another. She raises her head and smiles and says "you guys were trying to fool me" She gives the piece of plastic another sniff. "you were trying to make me think that this is pussy-willow, but I'm certain it's a shithouse door off a shrimp boat!"

Not quite hobby-related, but it did make me snarf.

Attachment 327753

*big smile *