...The problem with being an escort and having a boyfriend is that the boyfriend always gets in the way of you making money.the problem with dating an escort...is they always smell like the balls of thier last clinet, lol
God, it sucks to smell like sex all the time... Originally Posted by Natalie Reign
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.You're funny dude! You made my day.
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because, what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker! This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up!"
I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? "Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!"
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink. But if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a fucking non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholism is a problem too. And there are symptoms, like when you fall down, does it always hurt?
They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable. All vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty. I'm glad they made Flintstone's vitamins because I used to watch The Flintstones and go, "Man I bet you if I ate that dude, I would be healthy."
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. Ducks love bread, but they can't buy any. That's gotta be the biggest practical joke from God. If I worked at a store and a duck came in I would like just give him some bread -- "sure man no problem -- tell your friends" -- but I would not give him Pepperidge Farm bread... you know that stuff, right? You open it and it still ain't open. That is why I do not buy it. Cause I do not need another step, between ME and toast.
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. Originally Posted by Vyt