When an ATF/regular prices herself out of your range ...

I think a modified version of Jillian's suggested approach would be ok. If you had never seen her, it would not be appropriate to ask for a concession. Since she is your ATF and someone you see on a regular, I think it is ok to ask in a nice way.
"Hello sweetpea, I have so enjoyed all of our time together. It looks like you have increased the funds for your time. Good for you! I'm glad you are doing well. I have a set amount to hobby with, and you are now out of my budget. Since we seem to enjoy each other, would you consider grandfathering me? Please do not feel any pressure, if it won't work, no biggie, either way, I cherish the time we have had."

Good luck!

Mostly I always say that if it is only the rate that is keeping you from seeing me.. to please inquire. There are days that I am able to work with you .As long as you are reasonable and respectful.

Never know unless you speak up and let us know.So Thank you for that Originally Posted by melannie_star

Best.Reply.Ever.

You should definitely just ask if you're grandfathered in at the previous rate. If not, and the increase is a reasonable amount, if she is truly your ATF, if it were me, I'd pay it because there is a reason she is my ATF. While I've only recently started dabbling in the hobby, I've already found, not gonna say my ATF, but someone who I enjoy spending my time with more than others that it doesn't really matter what the rates are to me- that is just how much I enjoy her companionship and the fun we have. But, everyone is wired differently.

If she has an ATF that drove her rates then you should ask the ATF if she grandfathers her rate

I never negotiate rates with a provider as I feel it affects the level of service...just not worth it. If a provider's rates become too high, I stop seeing her. If she remembers me enough to communicate with me in some way, I'll tell her the truth. But usually, I wouldn't stop seeing a provider I liked if her rates went up. (I normally pay more than the standard rate to my favorites.)

If she lowered her price would you still pay her the same as before?

Just had this happen last week. Saw the lady for the 2nd time. I asked about price beforehand. She confirmed the previous price when we got together the first time. Walked in and laid down the cash and she said rates had gone up? What, in the last 30 minutes? I had enough to cover the extra and she was well worth it. Just was no fun taking my shirt off and having her tell me the money I gave her was insufficient. I'll still go back, she is amazing, just not a good business woman.

I see the new girls on here from time to time and their rates often increase as business does well. I've never had one say I have to pay new rates. I'm ALWAYS told rates are the same for me

I saw somebody whose rates were $200/hr and they were running an "ask me" special. I asked...it was 170/hr. I saw her and had a great time. A few weeks later I asked her thru PM about rates and she replied that she "always has specials for me". So I saw her a couple more times at that same rate. She then raised her rate to $250 which is more than I'm typically willing to pay.
A couple of months later I inquired about a session and confirmed my special rate and she replied "I'm not running any specials right now". I reminded her (I copied her specific text about always honoring her rate with me" but she said she wasn't doing that now.

She probably doesn't care too much but my ATF is MIA and she would have been my new go to girl.

Speaking of my ATF....her rate was 250 but offered me a special rate and continued with that offer. Sometimes I was able to pay a little more and sometimes a little less....it was just never an issue. I've been seeing her for well over a year about twice a month....just something to think about.

I guess my example is rates are more than just rates. I'm only speaking for myself obviously but if I've seen you a few times and things were good and then you raise your rates and don't honor a previous rate then I'm going to get butthurt. Maybe I should or maybe I shouldn't but I do. If I get butthurt I'm going to go see somebody else.

Maybe raising rates gets you more income, maybe it doesn't...how would I know? I just know how I would react to it. It seems to me the comfort of seeing somebody you're seen before, had a good time, screening is already done, the familiarity.......gotta be worth something.

Don't get in your own way Sir L. If it's who I think you're talking about, and you still strongly want to see her, then fading off into the sunset should be your last option. Go for it. Just discuss it with her. From the outside looking in, you've been a great and loyal client to her. With the ebbs and flows of this business, I don't see how she can just discard that without at least hearing you out. But I'd be lying if I said this isn't a befuddling place sometimes, so I could be way off lol. The bottom line is, if you want it then go and get it. You'll never know unless you ask/speak up.

Thanks to all who responded. The matter has been taken care of.

I think that several of the responders vastly underestimate the difficulty that some of us have in broaching sensitive topics such as his and others with our friends-for-an-hour who have become special to us over the years, with whom we have a relationship (at least one-sided, maybe two-sided to some extent) that feels more genuine than the transaction-based relationship that underlies it. That can make it difficult to discuss the business part of the relationship.

I am just so grateful to have the opportunity to spend time with a couple of women who I think are really wonderful people that I'm sometimes paralyzed by the fear that I'm going to do something to screw it up. It took me 10 years to find such women, and I spent a lot of time looking.

It's business. And money. Flustered sweatiness be damned. It should be the woman's responsibility to tell you what the rate should be, up front. Easy, standard words, either that she expects the new rate, or that you are grandfathered. (insert sweet southern drawl if you wish)

If she fails to mention it, it's perfectly acceptable to say that you are a little confused on what you should bring. If her answer doesn't work for you, then you know.

And not like women are fickle creatures at times, anyway, right?

(just assuming you are grandfathered is a good way to run the risk of not ever being seen again.)

Hey Sir L I think I know the person you are talking about and I seen a change in her she more and more about how much money she can make!

If a hobbyist dates only twice a month, the rate doesn't matter. Some of us like myself, date 6 to 8 times a month and in that situation rate does matter. The girls that treat me the best get my business.

Hey Sir L I think I know the person you are talking about and I seen a change in her she more and more about how much money she can make! Originally Posted by theshadow00

There's no sense in dragging names into this for those who don't already know who I'm talking about, so I'll just refer to her as Z.

theshadow00, I don't know what your experience with Z has been, assuming that we're talking about the same woman. But one of the many reasons I think so very highly of her is that she has never been "about how much money she can make."

Not only have I found her to be generous with her time, she has this year done the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me, something that unfortunately must remain between us. And maybe I shouldn't mention this, but when a family member recently passed away, she was the only one of the people I consider my friends to send flowers to the funeral, and I include in that group people I have known for 35 years. The arrangement dwarfed all the others there.

I don't know the basis for your comment, but from my perspective, it's way off the mark. And I could not care less if someone calls me a WK.