Discounts v. Tips v. Rates

I have tipped (gifts: baked goods, sporting tickets, case of beer, gift cards) in some unusual places for above & beyond service, such as a shipping place like, fed-ex kinkos, a client's assistant, the mechanic Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Me too..but I've never made a pass at those folks. It's just a different kind of service industry.

C

What ever happened to random acts of kindness?
Speaking for myself after a few years of being an escort, I have more than likely been conditioned to be a little skepticle of gifts that come from out of the blue. As a bartender and an escort I have had my ego stroked by men for many years. For the average woman, the gift and a little attention probably goes a long way.

FWIW, we typically offer a single beer to our UPS and FedEx guys. They sometimes turn it down. But the UPS guys do know we're the nice couple with beer. Plus a year end tip ($20). But eyeglass lady is much better looking than the delivery guys.

For the average woman, the gift and a little attention probably goes a long way. Originally Posted by Ansley

Bingo.

@Camille, point well taken. But doing this is not out of character for me. I wasn't clear about that with that either. An example, the local tire shop chain: We just had the snow tires put on the car (I know an alien concept for you Texas folks ). The company offers free change over as one of the benefits of doing business with the chain. They do the same for fixing flats. As it happened one of the summer tires failed the day I was planning to get the snows put on. But before I went to pick up the repaired tire (snows had been swapped the day before) I went out before I picked up a 18 pack of beer. When one of the counter guys came out to the car I kidded that the guys had left a special tire installation tool in the car, pointing to the beer. He thanked me and immediately walked it to the back of the shop. As I circled around to leave the shop, the counter guy pointed to me and the installers waved and said thanks. So when I show up for other tire related services, they are going to remember the customer who brought the beer. I've flipped cash to the installers too. Tire repair shops and sellers don't have a tip jar either. And trust me, I ain't lookin' for a date with these guys. LOL Originally Posted by SR Only

SR, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it by any means. I tip my dry cleaner because he collects and delivers to my home(even though he includes a delivery charge) because he does so "out of hours" and I've tipped all kinds of other folks that don't normally expect or receive it. Tipping shouldn't be restricted to the obvious by any means. I worked in finance and sales for a global consumer goods company and one of the clients sent me a gift for Christmas. Unexpected but appreciatively received (by me)..Later in the year, another client who I met in person gifted also..but it was clear he wanted a date at the very least. Flirting and the like in certain industries (even service ones) gets into murky waters pretty quickly. I declined the gift, but that didn't change the fact that he was still my client and I still had to deal with him. It got awkward very quickly...These days, a lot of companies prohibit their staff from accepting gifts because it starts to compromise client relationships. I know the spectacle shop is a smaller scale..but you get what I mean...As to your other example, that was pure and simple an act of thoughtful appreciation....nothing wrong with that!

C

It got awkward very quickly...C Originally Posted by Camille

I suspect the dating aspect and everything to do with it getting awkward, gratuity or not. But we do know that client had excellent taste since he was attracted to you!

My bubble just burst. I just went to double check the number eyeglass (or "spectacle" as Camille would say) lady called me on. It was the shop not her mobile. I will admit I looked at the number as I was coming off the highway on the ramp (multiple steering inputs, braking, and vehicle control) when the phone rang.

So it will probably be an altruistic offering on my part. Hopefully she'll think of me when she cracks it open.

A few years ago, I was out with my sister and some friends at "Legal Seafoods." I've eaten there a few times but on this occasion the experience was an epic fail. First, they forgot to bring my appetizer..which held up everyone else initially until I told them to just go ahead and eat...and then I had to send the entree back twice. The first time the dish was cold...the second time I sent it back because it had been re-heated by microwave (!)..finally it came back when everyone else had finished. The waiting staff and manager were fully aware of the situation and when the bill arrived (it was my treat) I refused to tip. My friends were disgusted...saying that it wasn't the fault of the waiting staff but the kitchen and I should still tip. I frankly didn't think the waiting staff did anything exceptional in sorting this all out. Further, I'm not sure I would have tipped had the service been faster...I'm supposed to tip for the expedient service of shitty food? WTF? They didn't knock anything off the bill or do anything to compensate...What would your response have been?

C

Seems to me that providing straddles a tipping no-man's land.

On the one hand, you do NOT tip professionals. The neurosurgeon next door earns about $240/hr. That's a damned good wage to be sure. The provider two doors down earns $300/hr. Why should I tip her, but not him?

It seems to me that wages beyond a certain threshold would automatically entail not tipping. I don't tip my lawyer.

It isn't like a waitress earning $2/hr plus tips or my barber who charges a whopping $12.

So, that is one half of the story.

Then we are dealing with a human system, and someone rendering a personal service. People who render personal services -- such as hair dressers and the like -- are typically tipped even if they charge a lot of money.

Providers being women ... and women in general preferring to feel that they are valued ... In reality, then, I nearly always tip a provider.

I simply want her to know I appreciate her.

Legal Seafoods 99% of the time is great. But that 1% they really hose it. I had a similar situation at the one in Framingham. On the way out I stopped and talked to a manager explaining why the tip was horrible. The person was definitely concerned. I would rather explain to someone who might care as to why I am leaving none or a meager tip. I have done this a couple of other times in my life. But I made sure a manager of some sort understood it was for lousy service and not that I am frugal.

On the one hand, you do NOT tip professionals. The neurosurgeon next door earns about $240/hr. That's a damned good wage to be sure. The provider two doors down earns $300/hr. Why should I tip her, but not him? Originally Posted by Laurentius

I guess I'm an exception. I've brought bottles of wine to my endocrinologist, my dentist, and ophthalmologist. I've brought bagels or chocolate to their office staffs. It makes them happy. What a concept.

A gentleman once gave me $200 after an extended evening together and I don't know, I was kinda put off by it. Originally Posted by Lovely Victoria

Then you could have, and probably should have, refused it. Did you?

My assumption is that for the most part, ladies base their hourly rate structure according to what they've determined is necessary for the purpose of maximizing their income. If i feel the personal value I receive exceeds what she feels she needs to charge the general population to achieve that goal, i'll tip. And i won't apologize for it.

I don't think I'm particularly cheap. I tip well in restaurants and probably below standard for my barber because I got into a habit years ago and just recently realized I needed to get with it and raise the tip.
Somehow, I equate tipping a provider with tipping my doctor or lawyer so I don't do it. After the fee reaches a certain level, I just feel a tip is extraneous. Originally Posted by John Bull

Outside of rate structure, why isn't tipping your barber akin to tipping your doctor or lawyer? All 3 should have little trouble providing what we're asking for whether they're having a bad day or not. Providers, not so much. Let's be serious, what we ask providers to do in no way equates to what we ask doctors or lawyers to do. Or barbers, for that matter. Though i will say, if my provider is as mechanical and matter-of-fact as my doctor, lawyer, and barber typically are, she ain't gettin' a tip either.

What ever happened to random acts of kindness? Originally Posted by Ansley

Yes, good question. I think it might be that random acts of kindness are usually not discussed by those who practice them. Humility and kindness often coexist. I like that.

I guess I'm an exception. I've brought bottles of wine to my endocrinologist, my dentist, and ophthalmologist. I've brought bagels or chocolate to their office staffs. It makes them happy. What a concept. Originally Posted by SR Only

Oh, indeed -- like you I bring *gifts*. But when the dentist bill comes in the mail, I don't include a 20% gratuity in the check I send back. LOL

by Doove: "Outside of rate structure, why isn't tipping your barber akin to tipping your doctor or lawyer? All 3 should have little trouble providing what we're asking for whether they're having a bad day or not. Providers, not so much. Let's be serious, what we ask providers to do in no way equates to what we ask doctors or lawyers to do. Or barbers, for that matter. Though i will say, if my provider is as mechanical and matter-of-fact as my doctor, lawyer, and barber typically are, she ain't gettin' a tip either."

The barber gets tipped because in the general structure of tipping hair folks get tipped.
The service providers give is highly intimate, for sure. But is it any more intimate than a doc poking around your insides or a lawyer poking around in your secrets?