Office coworker question

Never poop where you play, dip your pen in the company inkwell, don't fish from the company pier, don't get your pussy from where you get your pay, etc. Notice there are no saying for successfully banging your coworker, and it ending well. Plus, it never looks good on your resume!

Don't listen to these naysayers man. Go for it! What could possibly go wrong?

Today at the office two co-workers walked into my 3x3 cubicle situated next to the restroom while I was counting staples today.
One was a young Angelina Jolie lookalike and the other her Kim Kardasian lookalike friend.

One sat on my lap running her fingers through my hairpiece while the other grabbed me by the love handles and giggled. They said they had a bet going as to which one of them gave a better BJ and wondered if I'd help them out.

Thank God for this thread which gave me the strength to resist and stick to my guns.
Even when Kim dropped to her knees I just continued mumbling at my shoes staying focused on the essential task of staple inventory.

I knew better than to tell my mother about it when I got home. She would have sent me straight to my room without dinner which can be humiliating for a 50+ year old man.

Question is should I go to human resources and report the sexual harassment? The Human resources director has a thing for me too.