For many years now, I have always told the ladies they must have 2 rules.
1) the lady makes the rules
2) the lady makes sure the gents know her rules
That way "both sides" know the rules and what is and what is not on the menu
And, therefore, neither side can complain about the other.
As for the o.p. question, my opinion is flexible mainly because the top items on my personal choice shopping list are chemistry and companionship. MSOG is way down the list if it's ever on the list.