Your most remembered or comical....

I was over seeing one of my long-term provider friends and had brought her some balloons to help celebrate her birthday.

As we were getting real serious back in the bedroom, we heard this extremely loud noise coming from the front of the apartment--sounded like someone had kicked in the front door or something else just as horrendous.

We hopped up and went to investigate--found the balloons had become entangled with the rotating ceiling fan, with one exploding and the others flopping around, making an awful noise. We both had a good laugh once we realized what had happened and turned off the ceiling fan.

Best thing was watching my naked provider friend up on a step stool, stretching on her tip toes, untangling the balloons from the fan.

Most people would say that a gentleman should had done the work himself but I support female liberation and I wouldn't have missed seeing that beautiful girl up there, sexy and naked, reaching, and stretching to get the balloons down from the fan.

Years later, we still laugh about the day the front door was supposedly "kicked in" during a session.

Originally Posted by RustyBalls

Love this!


My funniest was with a regular who I had gotten to
know pretty well. He was a very tall, large, hefty sized
guy who was very nice to me. Anyway, he is on all fours bent over and begging me to stick the prostate toy "Deeeeper!"

Next thing I know, it slips inside him and he completely
freaks out. He starts having a panic attack. I can't help it,
I just start laughing hysterically. Then I manage to compose myself, and grabbed some gloves to try to fish it out. It is putting up a fight and does not want to budge. He is hyperventilating and on the verge of tears because he is so scared. This just causes me to laugh harder.

I finally removed it. He panicked because he thought he was going to have to go to the emergency room, and did not want to face the embarrassment. Things were never the same after that fateful encounter, it took him about 6 mos. to contact me again and he was a lot more cautious. I forgot about it until just now. I am sure he has not.

I have a friend who's an ER doctor who saw something similar. Except they couldn't turn it off or pull it out. The woman didn't want to go to surgery because she had to pick up her kids from school.

Oh well isnt that a nice vl ...."Um Bop" was supossed to be our special song.

Oh well isnt that a nice vl ...."Um Bop" was supossed to be our special song. Originally Posted by Ghosting

No no ours is from the New Kids please dont go girl 😂

Mines not funny just memorable to me.
RW-
Shortly after my divorce thinking I didn't know what dating life was going to be like-
I had met this woman off craigslist (back when it was brand new) and finally talked her into a normal date. She was very difficult to chat via pc with as I found out later she was just super spunky and like an energizer bunny with ADD. Anyway she was pretty petite little mexican/italian woman in her sexual prime full of energy.
We came back to her house after and had some great sex. She turned me into a pornstar. I learned I could do things I never knew I could do. Its amazing what a women's encouragement can do for a man. Anyhow, we had more sex during the night and when morning came I was getting ready to go and she just jumped my bones again and we had more amazing sex.
To make a long story short I didn't go home all weekend until Sunday night because everytime I said I was gonna head out she would just start fucking me again. She basically kidnapped me for the weekend and fucked the hell out of me. A Friday night date turned into a weekend of fucking. It was awesome, I had never experienced anything like it and it was just what I needed.

There was that time the incense candles almost burned the whole place down...

True story. A few years back there was a pair of massage providers working out of a duplex style house. They were both pretty hot but had developed an upsell reputation.

One afternoon, I reached out to one of them. She was available, we set a time and I was on my way. The house they worked out of had a weird address so it took me forever to find, but I finally did, parked a ways down the street, knocked and met the lady. She really was gorgeous.

She leads me into a darkened room with a couple of incense candles burning on a shelf on the other side of the room from the massage table, which was in the middle of a living room-kitchen space. As we're chatting and I'm getting comfortable (she stayed in the room for that, which I tend to like), we both notice a strong smoke smell. We look over at the incense candles and one of them has lit up some stuff around it. A fire has broken out! Gonna have a hot time! I'm naked now, but the first priority is to get that damn fire put out or I may be running into the streets in my birthday suit.

I see a pan, a towel and sink in the kitchen and quickly wet the towel and put water in the pan and get all that over to the growing menace. She's just kind of panicking and freaking out.

I get the fire put out, making a little mess but none the worse for wear. Then we both notice I'm the naked firefighter and get a pretty good laugh out of it. After things calm down I get on the table and she treats me to a great massage. But - to my total disappointment - she didn't even give me a discount for literally saving her home and life. Full price! She even upsold me to get her naked, which I could not refuse, and she was...smokin' hot.

After we were done, I was a little hungry so I went and had a Firehouse Sub. The lady in question has long since moved on from around here.