Being honest about the hobby. When is it okay? Or should you?

If he was gett'n it for free...and gett'n it good and often...why would a guy care? He should
only care if there was a relationship. Originally Posted by TallGuy6

+1

And I'll add...

FWB doesn't necessitate full disclosure. However, if the L word ever comes into play, and it's mutual, I think then would be the time to start disclosing.

Some romantic relationships CAN take the hobby. Most can't. If it happens count your blessings. And, if it ever happens for you, just be honest about your future hobby intentions. Mistrust and misaligned expectations tend to ruin a relationship - hobby or not.

He was way in the wrong for throwing it back in your face. No need for anyone to be that way. Karma's a bitch and he may find that out the hard way.

Stay safe.

I doubt he is hurt. But then again, I have NO CLUE what goes on in his mind. He was a a GREAT lay and if he wasn't such a A HOLE, I would have kept screwing him as much as he wanted. It was great stuff! But the ego was the deal killer.

But boy, he sure is using the fact that I provide now as something as a verbal butt kicking.
Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

My heart goes out to you, Kaylee. You don't deserve this.

I have very mixed feelings about telling people what I do. I had a VERY close friend who kept bugging me about what I was doing after I was laid off and I told her.

It was a big mistake. She started saying things like, "My job sucks. At least when your job sucks, you get paid" and really crude stuff like that. Then, her husband accidentally found out when he found my website on her history list on her computer.

THAT went south fast. And I lost a dear friendship. Another friend kindof guessed what I was doing and expressed some jealousy, believe it or not. So I'm just not in favor of disclosure at this point.

I don't know what I would do if I started dating. Probably tell him the truth after a date or two and just wish for the best. But most men are going to be funny about this whole thing.

I sincerely hope that you're able to find a solution to neutralize this mess. With him threatening to send your son information, he needs to be muzzled quickly.

Is there a way that you can just break off contact with him? Lay low with that group of friends for awhile? And just become a little closed off from that whole situation for a bit and let him cool down?

I don't have any solutions for you but I will be sending you good thoughts!

Good luck. Wow. It's always something, isn't it?

Elisabeth

its none of his business. just tell him that you have discussed this matter with your attorney and if he continues to harm you in any way, you'll to take him court.

That is what I did, and it worked!!!!!!!!!

I would really love to hear both men and women's point of view. Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

Being honest about the hobby. When is it okay? Or should you?
IMHO, You should never reveal the Hobby to ANY one unless, they are in the Hobby also. The domino effect that EW mentions is spot on. I always speak my mind and i cannot call anyone an Asshole w/o knowing BOTH sides of the story. Since this is a one sided story, we don't know the WHOLE story. I am NOT saying Kaylee is wrong or not telling the whole story from HER POV but, could it be possible that there was no commitment or relationship from only her POV and not his? It could also be possible that all the comments here is spot on. do we know for sure?

I am NOT sticking up for anyone in this stread but, We all know that it is in a man's nature to help and please his lady. After a year of being a fuckbuddy, (Kaylee's description) I would think that he tryed to get to know her and become closer to her. She must have liked him enough to stay with him that long w/o any compensation of any kind, and he was a great lay. I also know that when a man finds some free good pussy, he don't want to let it go easy.

We also know from this hobby that MOST men love variety.

I hope everything works out for you Kaylee,
CG

But boy, he sure is using the fact that I provide now as something as a verbal butt kicking.
Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

He can really only do that with your permission .. .if you let him. Point out that you do what you like .. and you don't do what you don't like. You did him, now you don't

I always tend to throw in a good "grow up" message. It's been my experience that no one can real deal with a good "grow up!" They always seem to react like ... "he knows ... "

But if the problem is solved .. you got some pragmatic advice. Does that happen often, here?

hmmm...an interesting discussion, and not to hijack the thread but I have a slightly different slant on this...
I recently found myself single and began the process of "online" dating. I have chatted with a very cute girl who seems to be a good match for me, and we were going to meet for a first "date", when suddenly it seemed that something had changed slightly, prompting me to "google" her phone number. Surprise, surprise, she has posted two ads for FBSM on a Backpage type of site. Of course, it's always possible that she really is a struggling single mom trying to get her life together, but I wonder if the "dating" persona is just someone seeking more clients, or is the real deal.
Guys, would you pursue this as a real-life date knowing that, or just give it up, or call and make an appointment as a client to "scope it out" or ????? Based on the fact she has only posted 2 ads at different times, I'm led to believe she is probably not a "pro" in the FBSM business, but has just dabbled in it to make ends meet...thoughts? Girls, what say you???

I have, a couple of times, tried to find a lover or a FWB's type of thing where the guy wanted to go out some and then we could enjoy each other in sensual ways. No money exchanged but also someone to go out to get something to eat, go to an event and well, just have someone to have some fun with and not a relationship, per se, but a friendship, yes.

I started writing someone from OKCupid and I used my regular phone. I should have known. He had googled my number and did a little freaked out dance. And of course, he didn't trust my motives.

Between that example and the few that I did meet that just wanted a quick and fun blow job after lunch (or less) and nothing else but a one time fling (which they didn't get), I've given up the search.

With your friend, she could have just been lonely and wanted some company. It's TOUGH being a single mom. And trust me when I say that there are plenty of working women who would enjoy the company of a really compatible person. See original post above!!!

Every single person is different with regard to motivations but I've always felt that it works well to just take someone at their word and give things a chance. In life, many things are just a crap shoot anyway.

Just my take,
Elisabeth

Kaylee I've been there and done that! At least you could see he was a donkey. It's unfortunate he found out!

I doubt he is hurt. But then again, I have NO CLUE what goes on in his mind. He was a a GREAT lay and if he wasn't such a A HOLE, I would have kept screwing him as much as he wanted. It was great stuff! But the ego was the deal killer.

But boy, he sure is using the fact that I provide now as something as a verbal butt kicking.
Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick