There once was a man from Kildaire.......

There once was a girl from Shamokin
Who thought her cherry was broken
From riding her bike on a cobblestone pike
But it was really broken from pokin'

Jon Valby - aka Dr Dirty…. My frat back in the mid-late 80s would schedule JV for our yrly charity fundraising weekend Friday night event, as a prelude to our Saturday night concert fundraiser… amongst my undergrad and grad school memorabilia, I probably have 4/5 JV-DD “event security” T-shirts that have the logo “John Valby gives pianos great hand jobs”

And we’re back… Did he play this one for you guys? Another of his Ya Ya bits.

There was a young man from Rangoon
Who was born seven months too soon
He didn’t have the luck
To come from a fuck
He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

... Alone in a warehouse with Tinger,
A pretty-bird wanted to screw - a humdinger,
So, they did it right on the assemble line,
And were screwing perfectly fine,
Until she got her tit caught in the wringer!



... Sorry there, mates - but you gotta take
the good ones with the bad...

#### Salty

A bit of a stretch on that one but an admirable attempt.

... Pretty-bird lovvy named Charlayne
Went driving with a fellow named Payne
Three mates came along
All at least TEN Inches long
And now the pretty-bird is takin' the train! ... ...

#### Salty

Here lay the bones of screwy Dick
At birth he was blessed with a corkscrew prick
All his life he spent in the frugal hunt for a girl
with a corkscrew cunt,
When he found her he soon fell dead
the dang thing had a left hand thread!

there once was a man from nantucket
whose cock was so long he could suck it
so suck it he did, he blew his quid
then spit it out in a bucket


bahahahahaa

the night was dark, the sky was blue!
back in the alley the shitwagon flew!
a bump was hit, a cry was heard!
a man was killed by a flying turd!!




bahahahaaaa

Jon Valby - aka Dr Dirty…. My frat back in the mid-late 80s would schedule JV for our yrly charity fundraising weekend Friday night event, as a prelude to our Saturday night concert fundraiser… amongst my undergrad and grad school memorabilia, I probably have 4/5 JV-DD “event security” T-shirts that have the logo “John Valby gives pianos great hand jobs” Originally Posted by Roothead

this guy? not quite as dirty as I've heard "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" but close enough!!


baababaaaaa





Barnacle Bill the Sailor - John Valby





Barnacle Bill the Sailor

John Valby

Jan. 1, 1992
1 viewer
5K views

Barnacle Bill the Sailor Lyrics

Oh....

[Choir of girls]
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Said the fair young maiden

[Bill]
Well...
Open the door, you fuckin' whore, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
Open the door, you fuckin' whore, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

[Choir]
Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
Shall we go to the dance?
Said the fair young maiden

[Bill]
Well...
The hell with the dance, and down with your pants, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
The hell with the dance, and down with your pants, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

[Choir]
What's that thing between your legs?
What's that thing between your legs?
What's that thing between your legs?
Said the fair young maiden

Thank God I’m A Pubic Hair
John Valby

[Bill]
Well...
It's only me pole to stick up your hole, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
It's only me pole to stick up your hole, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

[Choir]
What's that stuff around your pole?
What's that stuff around your pole?
What's that stuff around your pole?
Said the fair young maiden

[Bill]
Well...
It's only me grass to tickle your ass, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
It's only me grass to tickle your ass, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

[Choir]
What's that dripping down your leg?
What's that dripping down your leg?
What's that dripping down your leg?
Said the fair young maiden

[Bill]
Well...
It's only a shot that missed your twat, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
It's only a shot that missed your twat, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor


[Choir]
What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?
Said the fair young maiden

[Bill]
Well...
He'll go to sea and fuck like me, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
He'll go to sea and fuck like me, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

[Choir]
What if we should have a girl?
What if we should have a girl?
What if we should have a girl?
Said the fair young maiden

[Bill]
Well...
We'll dig a ditch a ditch and bury the bitch, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
We'll dig a ditch a ditch and bury the bitch, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor

[Choir]
What if ma and pa should come home early?
What if ma and pa should come home early?
What if ma and pa should come home early?
Said the fair young maiden


[Bill]
Well...
I'll fuck your ma and blow your pa, said Barnacle Bill the SailorI'll fuck your ma and blow your pa, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
I'll fuck your ma and blow your pa, said Barnacle Bill the SailorI'll fuck your ma and blow your pa, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor


When did John Valby release “Barnacle Bill the Sailor”?


Credits
Released on
January 1, 1992