Rude People & No References

Well first off, thanks for the feedback...part of why it took me a while to post it, was I did not want come off asking for info to anyone, that is totally none of my business.

That's great to hear, that in the vast majority of cases, things either work out, or if they don't at least everyone is cool with it...and go their seperate ways.

I understand, there are going to be times that both gals and guys are going to think..."what the fuck".

It just seems the drama factor is always so visible, at least on this site...which is my only gage. Certainly the drama is going to be the one with the legs....it can be both a level of entertainment, and I suppose an outlet to let the rage out....as well as providing intell. And I've jumped into my fair share of it, without question.

But there are times when the shit really hits the fan...I'm talking deep seated anger and revenge type of stuff.

I know since I've join Eccie...and based upon my UTR's prior to Eccie...I came into all this with no useable references. But since have met 4 quality providers directly because of my involvement in Eccie. I would consider them all very rewarding...covering the range of lasting well over a year, a couple of several month (but highly enjoyable friendship) to currently enjoying one that I've had the pleasure to know well over 6 mths.

But my point is, when the time with the 3 previous providers came to an end...there were no fireworks, no anger, no "i'll get even", no threats of outings. And I like to say if I were to meet any of the others I am not currently seeing...we would give each other hugs.

So sometimes when I sense some intense anger/rage....it's good to hear that, my experiences are really not the exception....but the rule

(And in no way am I saying that I was soley the factor of reasonableness...but it was just as much as the providers' being cool about things)

It just seems the drama factor is always so visible, at least on this site... Originally Posted by vkmaster

Because the mundane is boring . . . of course it is more visible here.

Hell, sometimes HERE is the only place it happens.

But my point is, when the time with the 3 previous providers came to an end...there were no fireworks, no anger, no "i'll get even", no threats of outings. And I like to say if I were to meet any of the others I am not currently seeing...we would give each other hugs. Originally Posted by vkmaster

There's not much deep-seated "revenge" type stuff, IME/O, out there in real life . . . and as for when things come to an end between you and a regular lady, well, if there is drama the likes of what you're detailing - whether it be something you've heard of happening or you've personally witnessed - then all I can say is A) it takes two to Tango and B) there was a SERIOUS breach of etiquette and professional / prudent boundaries from BOTH sides of that coin long before the fireworks erupting in such a manner. I personally can't imagine such a thing occurring myself . . . Amazing.

Kisses,

- Jackie

Thanks Jackie...God knows Ive experienced this as well Originally Posted by bigdeal

From me personally??? Yes, I'm a bitch (at times).

From me personally??? Yes, I'm a bitch (at times). Originally Posted by Jackie Devlin

No not from you!!

referring to another couple of providers

No not from you!!

referring to another couple of providers Originally Posted by bigdeal

Damn. Okay . . . so much for wishful thinking.

KIDDING!

LMAO!!!!!

Kisses,

- Jackie

The thing I think isn't really addressed, though a few came close, is the guy that is (a) very cautious by necessity (so he has to be comfortable that what he provides in screening is dead after arrival--just ask Elliot Spitzer); and/or (b) he really doesn't want to be all that active with a number of different people. There can be lots of reasons for that, including time limitations, distance, one lady may be enough on a very occasional basis and then that wanes, but he still only wants one; or if there is a degree of mutual attraction or friendship that develops there may be a feeling that he doesn't want to risk losing that confidence, or for any other reason he isn't interested in developing a book of references and keep it up so, for example, he is remembered. For some of you that is a 'pass' in any event, but I would be interested about the ladies' thoughts on the guy of little participation. It seems you could be missing out on a great opportunity or experience from time to time. Is it a case of 'that's the breaks' or do you feel you have alternative means? It's almost akin to never having sex with virgins, the opposite of the usual ideal, or only buying used tractors with lots of hours.

Yes, we could be missing out on a great client, but I'm not taking any chances. The minute I let my guard down and not listen to my gut is the moment I get busted.

I understand the guys need to be discrete, but some also need to realize that us ladies have a lot at stake and we need to keep ourselves safe.

If a ladies screening process isn't something that the guy feels he should have to go through or doesn't want because he doesn't want to give out his info, then he can find another lady who doesn't give a crap about who she sees and doesn't ask for references or even your real name.

So you're in the 'that's the breaks' column, Elena. On the January rudeness, maybe it's Seasonal Affective Disorder--and everybody has it this year. Personally, I think it's from having to listen to Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum convince all they are anywhere near normal. That's the best case for screening right there.

Yes, we could be missing out on a great client, but I'm not taking any chances. The minute I let my guard down and not listen to my gut is the moment I get busted.

I understand the guys need to be discrete, but some also need to realize that us ladies have a lot at stake and we need to keep ourselves safe.

If a ladies screening process isn't something that the guy feels he should have to go through or doesn't want because he doesn't want to give out his info, then he can find another lady who doesn't give a crap about who she sees and doesn't ask for references or even your real name. Originally Posted by MsElena

+1

Damn. Okay . . . so much for wishful thinking.

KIDDING!

LMAO!!!!!

Kisses,

- Jackie Originally Posted by Jackie Devlin

Haha Nope I actually like you Jackie so go ahead and Bitch away...I hope still to see ya someday when the money aint so funny!!

In fact you almost kinda scare me in a good way...which is rare...but Privately I like it!!

LOL!!

So you're in the 'that's the breaks' column, Elena. On the January rudeness, maybe it's Seasonal Affective Disorder--and everybody has it this year. Personally, I think it's from having to listen to Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum convince all they are anywhere near normal. That's the best case for screening right there. Originally Posted by bartipero

I wouldn't put it in the term, "that's the breaks" though. I'm not rude to the guys who call me or email me, I'm quite nice about it even when a few push the issue and start to irk me.

Its about safety and discretion.

I don't think everyone has a rudeness problem, but some do need to start taking stock of how they interact with others when it comes to doing business.

The thing I think isn't really addressed, though a few came close, is the guy that is (a) very cautious by necessity (so he has to be comfortable that what he provides in screening is dead after arrival--just ask Elliot Spitzer); and/or (b) he really doesn't want to be all that active with a number of different people. There can be lots of reasons for that, including time limitations, distance, one lady may be enough on a very occasional basis and then that wanes, but he still only wants one; or if there is a degree of mutual attraction or friendship that develops there may be a feeling that he doesn't want to risk losing that confidence, or for any other reason he isn't interested in developing a book of references and keep it up so, for example, he is remembered. For some of you that is a 'pass' in any event, but I would be interested about the ladies' thoughts on the guy of little participation. It seems you could be missing out on a great opportunity or experience from time to time. Is it a case of 'that's the breaks' or do you feel you have alternative means? It's almost akin to never having sex with virgins, the opposite of the usual ideal, or only buying used tractors with lots of hours. Originally Posted by bartipero

Are there alternate means to screen / verify / vet a client - ABSOLUTELY. And frequency doesn't matter to most . . . not to me - just plan in advance! Ask Stunt Dick and several others I have screened and seen lately with their having NO prior references.

As for needing to know your info is "DOA" - that it isn't coming back to bite you in the ass - well, all I can say is choose a lady like myself that has an overwhelming track record of keeping secrets for a living. NO SINGLE LADY IS PERFECT and there is no perfect method on safeguarding EVERY single bit and byte of data or protecting you completely in a hotel from seeing someone you might know, etc. - for instance, I can't beat sophisticated electronic surveillance or meeting the best friend of your wife in a hotel lobby while she's shopping for a ballroom for her daughter's wedding (and by the way - that goes double for you guys that see ladies that don't screen - LE always knows where they are at - they tell them on the phone - those ladies take all comers and take a gamble more with you than anyone that cares to screen ever does). You need to be able to think on your feet. But, as has been pointed out many times here over, it is rare that the expense of such surveillance would ever be used for the prosecution of a simple misdemeanor and I go to OVERWHELMING lengths in my choice of incall (among my choice of many other things) to protect my clients. I work professionally, I never work from my home, I change locations often and I use best practices to safeguard myself and my clients (their data is encrypted, I destroy it regularly as it may be purged, the device it is stored on is never in the same location I am and I look out for my clients coming and goings with discretion at all times).

Bottom line - yes, there can be alternate methods of screening - you need to choose wisely. I have never revealed a client confidence, ever. Neither have many other ladies here on this board and those that are not here but active in the endeavor. Choose a professional that takes care of business and you're probably going to be just fine . . . THAT SAID, everything has risk - and as I said in another post, if you can't accept the risk - don't call. Your offering screening information (or not) is NOT the only way things can go south - in fact, the argument could be made (and won) that you're actually MUCH safer with a lady that insists on screening (regardless of the method). Stay away from Agencies if you have overwhelming great concern, they are targets for larger prosecutions and wire taps, etc. - use reliable independent ladies.

Sorry to ramble, hope that answered your question . . .

I wouldn't put it in the term, "that's the breaks" though. I'm not rude to the guys who call me or email me, I'm quite nice about it even when a few push the issue and start to irk me.

Its about safety and discretion.

I don't think everyone has a rudeness problem, but some do need to start taking stock of how they interact with others when it comes to doing business. Originally Posted by MsElena

THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS!

PLEASE gentlemen, realize that every lady is different and do take stock on how you're treating the lady - even if the answer is "no" for now . . . we are known to re-evaluate things from time to time . . . ijs. You might not want to be standing on the outside looking in left wanting for lack of being polite in business. And that's what it is - it isn't personal. It really is about meeting our acceptable level of risk - what we do that allows us to feel safe - and discretion - how we feel you will handle our information as well.

Kisses,

- Jackie

I just actually had the same experience. Someone on this board. Not one post,and not one review. I explained that I needed at least that as I am not a heavy duty, jump through hoops screener. He dropped a name of a provider and I tried to look her up. Did not find her. I asked him to send me her email, phone number, or the link to her page. I also suggested he ask her to email or call me. I tried everything to help this guy as he said he had the NEWBIE BLUES. He did not provide. Either he expected me to work really hard on my end to make it work, or something is not right. Then I got a mirrored email in my box of his email to me. I politely said, "sorry... I am out" Never had this happen before but I am not taking any risks.

Ask Stunt Dick and several others I have screened and seen lately with their having NO prior references. Originally Posted by Jackie Devlin

Painless really now that I look back on it. My worry was by far the worst of it but Jackie put me at ease with her professionalism.


If only I could have done a review...

Reminds me of the priest that skipped Sunday mass to play golf. (short version) God and St. Peter were looking down on him, watching through the first couple of holes, when St. Peter looks over and says, "You're not seriously going to let him get away with that are you?". God says, "No, I should probably do something". On the ninth hole ol' St. Peter is getting pretty anxious, expecting a lightning strike or something. The priest tee's up, swings and (SMACK!) it's a long perfect drive straight down the fairway, one beautiful bounce to the green and a straight roll right into the cup! The priest goes crazy! St. Peter is hysterical, "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!? YOU GAVE HIM A HOLE IN ONE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PUNISH HIM?" God looks up, smiles with a shrug and says, "Who's he going to tell?"

LOL. Much love and many thanks Jackie, for the uhm... perfect golf game.

Jackie is a good reference to have, as is MsElena & Sillygirl. Lately I've been having a lot of gents use Kaylen and AutumnKC too, so kudos to you ladies.