Whale Wars

Shouldn't this thread be called 'Fat hooker wars'... Originally Posted by Valerie

You're are talking to DH not your hubby here

this shit is to fucking funny.....

I told you not feed her...u dont listen. LMMFAO

looks like that whale only plays with the tip, and did she swallow?

Wrong kind of whale

Wonderful thread. I am beginning to think that the CC in ECCIE stands for chubby chaser the way they have taken over.

I am beginning to think that the CC in ECCIE stands for chubby chaser the way they have taken over. Originally Posted by Phil A.Cheaux

Now that's funny, right there.

Whale Wars - Season One - Episode Four - Releasing your inner dolphin

Before we get to Episode Four, I want to thanck all of the fucktard/hooktard/modtards who have been following our Live-Cam of the Houston Forum on twatter. Your assistance with the Fat Sperm Whale sightings have helped us map a pattern to their behaviour. We should have a special treat for you on our findings in an upcoming episode.

The following is a review that was rejected by staff for BCD credit. Our team found it on the public restroom floor at a local Denny's.

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Date: 06/27/2012
Provider: Mad Cow the sperm whale
Phone: 713-867-5309
Email Address: She is everywhere
URL / Website:
City: Houston
State: Texas
Address: Nearest Houston Coed threAD
Appointment Type: Incall
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time?: Yes
Activities: lunch, lunch, lunch, maru slippy slide, birthing
Session Length: too long
Fee: 1000lbs of krill, 3 tuna and a dolphin
Hair Color and Length: Shaved
Age: Less than 75
Smoking Status: Can you smoke whale like you can salmon?
Ethnic Background: Sperm Whale
Physical Description: Her pictures don't do her justice. This Sperm Whale is a beauty to behold. She has rolls in all the right areas. She has big utters for you to play with. I did not notice any other sperm whales trying to cut in on our time.......except for one.
The Rest of the Story: I have been eyeing the pod of huge sperm whales in the Houston Forum for some time now. I had been trying to work up the courage to try one of them out. I have always believed that there is a spinner bait crying to get out of every whale.

I saw the commotion the huge sperm whales were making yesterday and decided I had to go in.

I took my bobblehead bozo down to the pawnshop and borrowed the funds to make my dream come true.

I have to confess here that I am a newbie. I was afraid that they might not see me. I devised a plan to hook me a big one in ISO where them seem to hunt regularly.

I got a hit very quickly (as I knew I would). Then, BAM there were two of them wrestling over me. I looked them both over. Them two sperm whales were rolling in the water, showing off them gigantic utters. The biggest one frightened me a little. I was not sure I could handle her on my first attempt with a huge sperm whale. I admit it it. I got a little weak kneed and chickened out. I chose the smaller sperm whale. She was still plenty big for me.

Contact was simple. I just slapped the water and she came right to me. We negotiated the deal. She seemed kind high. I mean, I ain't judging a sperm whale for its prices, and krill is mighty cheap. But, tuna is expensive and I am pretty sure the price of dolphin will triple after this review gets posted.

The feeding: I don't know what else to call it. It was gross and amazing to watch (both at the same time). She sucked down the krill in no time flat. The tuna was like an appetizer. But, the dolphin was pure sperm whale magic. She swallowed that dolphin whole. After watching that, I knew I was in for a treat.

The session: After lunch, lunch and lunch my dream date asked me what I wanted. I admited to her that I was a newbie and putty for her to mold. She told me she had a special treat for me. She went to the closet and pulled out a large plastic tarp. She laid it out and proceeded to puke up this slimy stuff. She said it was mishu gel and she was going to give me the slippy slide of my life. I laid down in the mishu gel and watched her as she prepared herself for my slippy slide. She was like a sumo wrestler, squating, stomping her feet and slapping at the rolls of her belly.

She started doing something that kinda freaked me out. She started talking to herself, saying shit like "are you in there, bitch?" and "your ass is coming out". I know I am a newbie. But, is this normal?

Without warning she jumped on top of me in the mishu gel and started slidding up and down my crushed body. She treated me like a rag doll. She rubbed me in her folds, under her armpits (shaved) and between them huge thighs. I was in heaven. Then, she started singing a tune while she gave me my slippy slide. I can still hear it......

Everyone loves the king of the sea,
ever so kind and gentle is he,
tricks he will do when newbies appear,
and how they will laugh when he's near!

They call him Flipper Flipper........

Then it happened. The most amazing thing I have ever witnessed. The huge sperm whale started grunting as she hummed the tune, and with a swoosh a dolphin slid out of her vagaijai. I was speechless.

She lumbered to her feet (no small feat in all that mishu gel) and pointed to the dolphin flopping around on the floor. She then yelled something that I didn't quite understand. She said, "we told them bitches that every whale has an inner dolphin".

I was so amazed by the whole thing, clean up and out the door is a vague memory.

I just know that I will be back, if for no other reason but the dolphin show.

Recommendation: Hell to the yeah

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I know, I know.......I (as your friendly melodrama narrator) am wondering the same thing.

I am attempting to contact the newbie to verify that the dolphin was not harmed in this review.

Boardman is already after the dolphin .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rynvewVe21Y

Oh yeah was the the smaller whale hispanic and have some tattoos?
I think I saw that whale around here .

Can we move it to ISO tomorrow.......so, we can catch all of the swim areas?

Whichever one of you moved it needs to own it......not hobby related........my ass.........ijs.

We get many more in galveston bay, it'll raise the waterlevel to Ike proportions, then I'm out of a fucking job.... where's the fucking japanese whaling fleet? .....fuckers haven't shown up yet.....LMAO

Not I sir....... I stamp it when I move it.......

JaD

I thinck I know who it was......I just want to see him stamp it for posterity.

Can we move it to ISO tomorrow.......so, we can catch all of the swim areas?

Whichever one of you moved it needs to own it......not hobby related........my ass.........ijs. Originally Posted by dearhunter

There are NO WHALES, DOLPHINES..OR OTHER animals/mammals on this board...(other than BM and that dog ass fucking that pink cat in your avatar)
SO ummm yeah, this is not hobby related.. LMAO..

Why don't you just come out and say what you really want to say, instead of trying to beat around the bush? Oh, wait... you would never admit you and some others here are very prejudice... And It is sad that we do not have the pleasure of seeing your ugly faces so that we could know why you are so unhappy with you self and your life that you have to constantly poke at and make others feel uncomfortable on a hooker board.. But then, that would take the attention off of us and put it on you...

BTW -- no one here is dumb.. all the shit you say.. we can see it on another forum.. So You are not hiding any thing.. but you should check your self, and why you continue to be such a dick. Voicing your opinion is great, but what you and a few others around here are doing.. really is crossing the line and you need to step the fuck back.

There are GREAT HOBBYIST on this board, some have watched a lot of you act an ass for years apparently and they spend more money than you probably see in a weeks pay in one session with some of us.. You should keep some of the things in your head to your self because the following is all you are proving to any one...

Stop trying to make people feel uncomfortable around here.. Damn, why the fuck can't we all just fuck, give reviews and have fun with out all this other Bullshit... ???



prej·u·dice/ˈprejədəs/
Noun:Preconceived opinion not based on reason or experience.Verb:Give rise to prejudice in (someone); make biased: "the statement might prejudice the jury".Synonyms:noun. bias - preconception - detriment - prepossession - harm
verb. harm - injure - bias - damage



stalking present participle of stalk (Verb)
Verb:

• Pursue or approach stealthily: "a cat stalking a bird".
• Harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted and obsessive attention: "the fan stalked the actor".

dh, just for your information, I don't think nikki likes you very much. ijs

Honestly.. I have no problem with him.. he has never said any thing to me personally.. I am just tired of seeing and hearing all this b.s. and it gets old.. yes, I respond on the post.. the ones I do not feel are just pure rudeness, but it seems like every thread made by some of the guys lately are just to try to upset some of us..

Complaints that certain people continue to post stupid shit.. yes, they do.. but, they do not follow people around on this board trying to start shit with them either.

Good lord, why can't we all just get along and have fun.. not try to upset others for no reason other than our own personal issues, or feelings..

I don't have an issue with ANY ONE on this board...

IJS