"Shades of Grey" _ Hype

. Come on down to Shreveport,Louisiana and lets us red neck coon ass guys have a crack at you and I bet we can change your thinking.
Muah
hjones Originally Posted by hjones

Always up for enlightenment ) and exploring consciousness widening.. (lol)

Nina, Qziz,

I am newbie here and stumbled over this interesting (and rather offtopic) discussion. Commenting here was not what I had in mind when joining Eccie

I believe you are not talking about the same. "Romance" is by definition
a. A love affair.
b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love
c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something

I guess Nina, that an escort is at least selling c. to the hobbyist. I had the pleasure to check your site. Congrats. You at least aim for b.(first part) I am citing you:

“I aspire to touch your soul, and create an unique and special relationship that lasts for a long time and becomes more interesting and intense the more often we see each other.”

I guess most hobbyists will (want to) believe to get a version of a. when escorting you to dinner and evening amusement. And I do perfectly understand them.

Your native language is german, isn´t it? I guess “Romanze” sums it up quite well. http://www.duden.de/rechtschreibung/Romanze

Sorry for being a wise ass. Nina, are you horny now? I guess you get that pun a lot...

bb Originally Posted by bloddybastard

Hello BB!
Thanks for joining into the discussion, and thanks for finding this thread interesting enough to make your first post on eccie..

Horny as hell, my dear .

Loved your take on romance and thanks for quoting me. You are right about the take on point 2 in your observation, but - I strive for creating profound relationships based on the exploration of consciousness using sex (as in tantra practice or sex magick) as a tool to create a chemistry and broadening your horizon, as a transformatory power to your personality, as a dare-ground and safeground for exploration. Love , the kind of romantic love, is not part of that relationship. I do believe there are other realms or powerful relationships based on mysticism, Tantra and Spiritual aspects of Alchemical transformation processes (Rubedo, Nigredo,,,,etc.) possible , too.

See it as a seminar for personal development, and such.

Here is another quote that might be helpful from my page to understand the difference between romance and a charged encounter., This is based on the hypothetical thought that an "Amour Fou" or "Secret Love" (which is not love per se) relationship might occur:

"It is possible that a secret love/amour fou relationship develops given the right amount of chemistry and intimacy. In my private life I am an openly polyamorous person that does not combine love with money ever, but given certain circumstances (all of those that demand secrecy) I will be available under paid agreements only. Given the intricacies that such a secretely shaped relationship offers, it is hard to find truly consensual solutions that are beneficial for all parties involved, so a financial arrangement helps to prevent unnecessary emotional drama and conflicts"

Thanks to this thread and the profound discussion of it, I might reconsider using the word "Love" at all within the context of this. Fact is, I do believe that a profound likening and "coup de foudre" - (Love at first sight, which is a kind of psychological collusion based on facts of personal triggers to personal development, rather than real love based on knowing of a person and getting through bad and good times) - can very well develop between a - here made for married clients - and escorts. But the payment is mandatory due to the fact, that this is not a full-grown two sided responsible relationship, but a relationship based on restrictive demands of - I assume - minimum one person.

hence my argument of love not being existent in it`s "pure" form, because these restrictments do influence a growth of this coup de foudre into something else, to speak in easier comprehensible terms: If you have a flower that grows, it processes many stages to bloom, then goes again, and blooms again.

In limited relationships based on "Amour Fous" or "Coup de foudre" this growth is "stuck" at some stage and does not move. Then it dies. Then the search for a new coup the foudre at the same stage begins. Hence the fact that wives stay and lovers (specially secret ones) come and go. It`s kind of natural. People like some stages at some points in their life, but eventually get frustrated or bored of being "stuck" and the impossibility of development poisons such relationships in the long run.

This has been shown by history, and many literaric explorations of this topic as well. It`s not invented by me, it`s what any human being can read and re-read in personal histories of certain relationship styles. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but most likely , there are not.

This is why I personally do not agree with "escorts selling romance" because it is a surefire tactic for sabotage and poisons the vry thought of romance per se, and the Idea of Love and it`s basic meaning and consequences. Which are the consequences of having many possibilities of developmental directions within a relationship, that are not "there" when relationships are naturally limited by very restrictive intricacies. So, it`s not Free to float naturally, hence .

I do believe you are right, that clients do search for much more than just physical realms, but I still consider the nuances within that realm , even is similarites occur (you pointed them out wonderfully in your definitions of romance...) and the "love" part inherent in this definition is lacking.

I do agree that clients (and escorts) search for a special connection. Some might indeed be infatuated enough to delude themselve about love or similar. But , reality proofs that, if you follow that thoiught further, you might wonder, why anyone charges money, if the encounter is sincere and "romantic" or "loving".

It is this imbalance of "Power" in "Input and Output" that renders love impossible,
since love requires minimum two individuals to meet each other "naked" and not "in disguise". The financial aspect, and the therapeutical aspect in a relationship serves as a disguise.

Once people take the real consequences for their actions - and see each other "naked" as in taking all defences or materials of delusions "off", then an escort would not need to charge and clients probably would either be divorced or openly polyamorous .

(I know I am strict in my definitions....Life is not black and white, but to operate in "Shades of Grey" does not mean automatically "Leave your analytical skills at the entrance and water reality into being what you want it to be" , either.... Sometimes yoiu can enjoy the colorful varieties within relationships AND be fully aware what they REALLY are about. ....)

Nina,

I feel honored that you found my comment to be worth so many lines!
I am too tired to properly think through your very interesting point of view and would like to reflect on your earlier postings as well. Would love to try to answer on a similar level.

For now I just wanted to remark that unrequited love or romance (as you define it) could be an important element and is (still) possible when both partners are sincere about their feelings.

Carson McCullers has described this in better words (than I ever could):
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show...rson_McCullers

I find the last paragraph to be very interesting.

I believe it to be the same issue but with a different (funnier) angle: Why women and men cant be friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

Would love to discuss that in "real life"

BB

British hotel replaces Bibles with 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

http://travel.usatoday.com/hotels/po...27&sf5231127=1

British hotel replaces Bibles with 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

http://travel.usatoday.com/hotels/po...27&sf5231127=1 Originally Posted by SOULMANIKE

Heh questo solo per la scopata di esso

thank you guys, I am glad I am not alone with my perception. Originally Posted by ninasastri

Not alone at all, I wasn't that impressed by it myself, but then again I have to remember my sexual experiences are not quite as 'vanilla' as the average housewife so to speak, which seems to be the majority of the people who are so hyped up about it...

Not alone at all, I wasn't that impressed by it myself, but then again I have to remember my sexual experiences are not quite as 'vanilla' as the average housewife so to speak, which seems to be the majority of the people who are so hyped up about it... Originally Posted by Valerie

Hello ladies,I went to a "Ladies Night Event" at the adult toy/sex store and they had a huge gathering,wine,refreshments etc...Give aways and discounts,well, I won books 1-3 which were retailed at $21.99 each there so I guess for the 3 being free and reading this thread (most of it) ,I am glad to see the replies and that I saved my money and can read them free and see if they are worth the effort. As it seems the answer looks like a "No" Lol!

~Exotic Beauty~

Not alone at all, I wasn't that impressed by it myself, but then again I have to remember my sexual experiences are not quite as 'vanilla' as the average housewife so to speak, which seems to be the majority of the people who are so hyped up about it... Originally Posted by Valerie

Hi Val! Awesome photo btw! I assume the "romantic" and vanilla way the story is written ads indeed to the mass-hype.

British hotel replaces Bibles with 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

http://travel.usatoday.com/hotels/po...27&sf5231127=1 Originally Posted by SOULMANIKE

I`d rather read the Bible ,it`s far more entertaining and interesting ;-). But maybe good advertisement for the hotel.....

Only slightly related.. but stilll

Shades of Grey - Grey is a monotonous color - Shades of Monotony!

For those souls happily constrained to monogamous relationships by social mores and edicts they never had a voice in, yet choose to obey - get a different book! Somehow they have to lose the familiarity and oppressive comfort they often find in each other's company. Seduction is always more singular and sublime than sex and it commands the higher price...- Jean Baudrillard. I would add seduction also yields the higher return!

I didnt read the whole thread yet, but figured I would give my opinion before I read others. I thoroughly enjoyed all the books, and heard a rumor that they may come out with a book from Mr Grey's view and I would read that just as fast as I read the others. But I was somehow embarrased by some of the things I was reading. I feel like I am very sexually open but some things in the book made me blush or giggle and I think why I liked it is because it is different than anything I would do, so it let me imagination run wild.

When I first bought the book, the male cashier told me that women in the United States are very sexually repressed and the hype over the book really shows that. It just makes me wonder, how many women read these books and actually decide to try something new or switch things up in the bedroom.

Kinky erotica has always sparked some interest in my eyes, and I've been known to write a few short stories of my own

Providers who reference this in their ADs are thoroughly annoying, IMO.

well nevertheless... stil jealous of what money that person earns..

You know, one thing that still tickles me about this book is the whole Non-Disclosure agreement thing. Seriously, that's about like a hard ass business man, even make your girlfriend sign one before getting it on.