Hmm I've never been bothered by the word "provider." I think I like its neutrality and ambiguity, since a good companion provides many things (and providing for someone is admirable right?) But I see the point now about it being a little clinical. "Courtesan" always strikes me as stuffy and pretentious, although if someone sees fit to call me by that name, I take it as a compliment.
"Hobbyist" has always left me cold, although I agree that it's an accurate description for the way some men approach the exchange. Maybe "benefactor" is the male equivalent for "courtesan"? It's a shame there are no words for either position that seem to get it just right....
- AveryMoore
- 08-13-2010, 01:08 PM
- Guest053011
- 08-13-2010, 01:18 PM
I just don't know what one would say in an introduction beyond, this is my friend, The Lady Summerhill. Originally Posted by John BullI'm sure you know that I've never been introduced as Miss Lauren Summerhill! They know my real name and introduce me by it.
What happens? There's no "title" assigned during the introduction. When introduced it's "This is Lauren" or "This is my dear friend Lauren". Our warm and affectionate body language makes it pretty clear that our relationship is an intimate one without having to assign a title.
Sometimes people will ask him one on one what our relationship is. And he will say "She is my lover" or say the same thing I do when asked: "We're dating without expectations". People have always treated that with respect and it's never caused unpleasant rumors to spread. And since they are frequent encounters that last years, people just don't waste any energy wondering about it.
- John Bull
- 08-13-2010, 01:25 PM
Of course, but it sounds better here in text.
- WTF
- 08-13-2010, 01:29 PM
What's the difference between a janitor and a custodian.
- pjorourke
- 08-13-2010, 01:32 PM
- Laurentius
- 08-13-2010, 01:34 PM
Wonderful insights, Lauren. I only agree with you 1,000%.
At the end of the day I hate the term "Hobbyist" too. However, it is fitting for some gentlemen who participate. I'm not crazy about "provider" but once again, for a significant amount of women it's appropriate. I do not hate the terms in and of themselves, I hate them when applied to me and the people I see, because I don't think they're suitable.
Some men are taste testers, and they like to keep track. They are collectors of experiences. Hobbyist works for them.
Some women aren't interested in being themselves, in getting their own physical pleasure or in making a sincere connection - they are happy to provide the gentlemen with a wonderful experience though. Provider works for them.
It's impossibly hard to find an umbrella term that all the ladies or all the gents will be comfortable applying to themselves. I've always preferred the 1920's "Lady of Leisure", as it's generic enough and respectful enough that it can apply to many personal ideas.
This sub-culture of ours spans every color of the rainbow - from Dominatrix and Slave, Mistress and Lover, Provider and Hobbyis/Escort and Client, Sugarbabe and Sugardaddy, Courtesan and Patron, and a swath of things that haven't yet gotten labeled because no one feels safe talking about them on a public online form without the fear of being tar and feathered or taken advantage of.
Ultimately we're participants in the culture of alternative sexual relationships, and what that means can be astonishingly different even when you look at each person. I've found that nearly every Lady and Gentlemen has their own structured Philosophy, and it can be extremely individualistic. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill
- Chica Chaser
- 08-13-2010, 02:13 PM
Well, I just learned a new word today, thank you! I'm still not sure it fits exactly but it's close with many of the ladies here.
Demimondaine was a polite 19th century term that was often used the same way we use the term "mistress" today. Demimonde primarily referred to a class of women on the fringes of respectable society supported by wealthy lovers (usually each had several).
The term is also used to refer to these women as a group, and the social circles they moved in. As a group, the demimonde did not form a 'society' any more than modern prostitutes form a society. But they did represent a social class of women in the latter half of the 19th century and into the early 20th century who were commonplace fixtures in the upper class of French, English and, to some extent, American society.
In the United States and Britain, they were (and still are) also often referred to as courtesans, though that term in the 19th century applied to a profession (as the term "prostitute" describes a profession), whereas 'demimonde' was used to describe a broader social class, and 'demimondaine' a member of that class.
The term is French, and means literally "half-world", implying those women existed on the fringes of the "World" (in the sense of fashionable society). It derives from a comedy by Alexandre Dumas fils published in 1855 called Le Demi-Monde.[1]
As the 20th century dawned, evolving social mores regarding women's place in society (particularly the suffragette and flapper movements) caused the demimonde to fade. The term then became commonly used to refer to the class of 'starving artists' — painters, authors, poets and other bohemian or quasi-bohemian types — who were marginalized by their failure to achieve, or rejection of, material success.
- charlestudor2005
- 08-13-2010, 02:37 PM
What's the difference between a janitor and a custodian. Originally Posted by WTF
The custodian is a union job?Nah, the union job is building engineer...or maintenance engineer.Originally Posted by pjorourke
[BTW, most hotels have "engineers" that fix everything from broken TVs (they generally move a new one in) to light bulbs to telephones.]
- offshoredrilling
- 08-13-2010, 02:40 PM
- atlcomedy
- 08-13-2010, 03:09 PM
Hmm I've never been bothered by the word "provider." I think I like its neutrality and ambiguity, since a good companion provides many things (and providing for someone is admirable right?) But I see the point now about it being a little clinical. "Courtesan" always strikes me as stuffy and pretentious, although if someone sees fit to call me by that name, I take it as a compliment.The problem is we are trying to find one term that fits and can be applied to the entire spectrum of street walker to true courtesan (and the men that patronize them).
"Hobbyist" has always left me cold, although I agree that it's an accurate description for the way some men approach the exchange. Maybe "benefactor" is the male equivalent for "courtesan"? It's a shame there are no words for either position that seem to get it just right.... Originally Posted by AveryMoore
To call a Ferrari mere "transportation" is kind of insulting to many a Ferrari owner, but if you are looking for a term that is inclusive of everything that gets you from point A to point B a Ferrari is "transportation."
Conversely, to call all "providers" "courtesans" really isn't appropriate because most of them really don't live up to the definition.
BTW, what is the definition of a High Dollar Hottie again?
- Laurentius
- 08-13-2010, 03:21 PM
BTW, what is the definition of a High Dollar Hottie again?Without regard to absolutes, a HDH is any woman who charges more for her services than I consider them to be worth. So a HDH could charge $50 or $5000 -- if my perception of value is such that I can't justify the price, I label her "HDH."
Naturally, then, no woman I see, no matter what she charges, is a HDH. Instead, she's a good value. LOL
- pjorourke
- 08-13-2010, 03:27 PM
- atlcomedy
- 08-13-2010, 03:48 PM
- WTF
- 08-13-2010, 04:24 PM
- discreetgent
- 08-13-2010, 05:32 PM
The number of ladies I have seen has been rather small, and in general my inclination has been to only book a lady that I might have interest in seeing on a regular basis. Some gals have visited me at home and met my personal friends and even some family. Depending on who she was meeting I either introduced a lady as a good friend or as a lover. I understand that being single and unattached makes it much easier to open up in that way. So while I don't hate the term hobbyist I never thought about it very much since it never fit with how I approached this world.