I am terribly upset

[quote=The_Leopard;501249]You guys just don't seem to like her at all.

But, since this girl is a BP girl, you treat her different.[quote]

I'm just not understanding how they are supposedly not liking her when there's no posting of who she is or that she was on BP before this.
pyramider's Avatar
Its not a matter of liking, or disliking. Someone has jumped off the ledge over this ATF thing. Listen to your brethen. They have been there and done that. Or just be not too bright and learn a hard lesson on your own.
The_Leopard's Avatar
There is a difference between a long term business associate and someone he met 2 months ago. I would venture to guess that you would not have been the friend that you have been to your 15 or 20 year business relationship that you have been the first few months you've known them. There are friendships that develop from such long associations and trust that develops from knowing that they have been honest and provided good service for such a long time. That is logical. I would also venture to say that you have not bought your maid jewelry the first few months you knew her. That would probably have sent the wrong message. I don't buy my GFs jewelry within the first couple of months I know them.

I understand your point, but I think the comparison is unfair. Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor
I met her in San Antonio and by U.T. on May before I became her client. Plus, she asked me for a gift. So, I said I would do it for her. I am nice to people for a reason. I am not going to be an asshole and leave them high and dry if I make a promise to them when they ask me for something. But, I am giving her a gift because I want to do it.

-

Thank you to everyone who read this. I am avoiding all rude comments in here and focusing on the subject at hand.

She told me or explained to me about the robbery and I was ultra pissed because I was afraid I wouldn't see her again (as to she was just unique and tall for me that I really loved her service). It's not being too attached and all, but she is a really nice person to me and I hated to see this happened even if she texted me and told me what happened and what occurred. So, evidently this comes in mind this question:

When you see a regular at this site, some guys have given gifts to certain woman said that he met her more than a few times or maybe within 2 to 3 months. I mean this is regular and this has happened before.

Plus, to me I haven't really been with a tall girl for awhile now. And this was a treasure being that she was a pacific islander and all.

Edit: Pyramid, no one here is not my brother. I ride alone and that's what I been doing all my life. So for someone to learn the hard way must take the bumpy road. Sorry man, but I am grown man. Let me make my own decisions.
Beagle's Avatar
The ladies who commented on here were right in their approach. I don't think Leopard wanted a solution; looks like he wanted consolation.

If you're still reading this thread, Leopard, hope you got in touch with your ATF and got things sorted out.

EDIT: Leopard, is she alright now?
The_Leopard's Avatar
The ladies who commented on here were right in their approach. I don't think Leopard wanted a solution; looks like he wanted consolation.

If you're still reading this thread, Leopard, hope you got in touch with your ATF and got things sorted out.

EDIT: Leopard, is she alright now? Originally Posted by beaglebeagle
She is not answering her call. I was going to let her know I wanted to get a 1 3/4 session, but I think she is not answering at all.
sixxbach's Avatar
Leopard,

You have every right to make your post just as the other guys have of being "critical". Do your thing man and keep your head up. The guys will always be the guys but I always respect someone who is not afraid to go "against" the grain. That takes alot of testicular fortitude that not everyone has!

sixx
notanewbie's Avatar
all I can thinck of is the movie taxi driver.

he went against the grain and may have been a little obsessed.

yeah, taxi driver.

TopWhop's Avatar
I am perplexed as why you would even post this on ECCIE??
What type of suggestion, reaction or comment did you really expect? Seems your “reaching” here on this board for something that nobody here can give you. Wither she is your ATF, you care about her, your friends with her or you want to buy her gifts,,,,,that is your business. Nevertheless, WTF is she doing on BP ??? If you care about her and her safety, get her off BP ASAP. Posting on BP is not a good idea. You have 100 posts here so you should know this is a safer place for her,,,why have you not informed her of ECCIE ?
“I am starting to like Pacific Islander and Hispanic girls who are tall maybe 5'8-6'4 and tanned as in dark skinned hispanic, pacific islanders.”
I cannot say I have ever seen a hispanic or PI at 6’4”.
Are you sure it is a female?
My ATF was robbed in San Antonio Wednesday night. I was trying to contact her today to see if she was alright and there was no answer.

I am very upset that she didn't call back to let me know what I can do. I got a gift for her on hold at a jewelry place and plan to buying it later this month and the first week of September.

My birthday plans are ruined. I am upset. I wish she would call back, but if she left town or got arrested, then this will just boil my blood. I am terribly pissed. I love tall girls, but I don't want to become a hermit once again and wait for another tall girl. Originally Posted by The_Leopard
Leopard,

I am sorry this circumstance has upset you so much. I notice that you say you are "terribly pissed", and I would like to offer you some advice.

Finding someone you really connect with can be very exciting. Especially if you were being like a hermit for awhile. (You say your birthday plans are ruined??? Did she cancel an appointment on your birthday? I can see where this would be very upsetting.)

But---even though she is your ATF, please try to understand that some women are very independent. She might just need space to work her own problems out. Without your help.

By your very nature--as a man--you naturally want to do whatever you can to solve the problem at hand. But you are pissed that she doesn't want your help? That would be a little scary to me. Disappoinment, ok. But anger? A little concerning.

Can you let go of your anger and instead respect what she wants? If you can, good. Give her some time. If you cannot, I think you might be taking things too far too fast. (How many texts have you sent to her since Wednesday? How many times per day have you tried to call her?) If you push too hard you will scare her off.

But Leopard, no matter what you are not in control of this situation. She is. That may be hard for you to accept, but it is what it is.

I hope this helps you to think about it a little differently, ok? Best of luck to you.

Casey
The_Leopard's Avatar
Leopard,

I am sorry this circumstance has upset you so much. I notice that you say you are "terribly pissed", and I would like to offer you some advice.

Finding someone you really connect with can be very exciting. Especially if you were being like a hermit for awhile. (You say your birthday plans are ruined??? Did she cancel an appointment on your birthday? I can see where this would be very upsetting.)

But---even though she is your ATF, please try to understand that some women are very independent. She might just need space to work her own problems out. Without your help.

By your very nature--as a man--you naturally want to do whatever you can to solve the problem at hand. But you are pissed that she doesn't want your help? That would be a little scary to me. Disappoinment, ok. But anger? A little concerning.

Can you let go of your anger and instead respect what she wants? If you can, good. Give her some time. If you cannot, I think you might be taking things too far too fast. (How many texts have you sent to her since Wednesday? How many times per day have you tried to call her?) If you push too hard you will scare her off.

But Leopard, no matter what you are not in control of this situation. She is. That may be hard for you to accept, but it is what it is.

I hope this helps you to think about it a little differently, ok? Best of luck to you.

Casey Originally Posted by CaseyTaylor
No, she texted me. And twice about the robbery. I tried to call to see if we were still on for my birthday meeting.

You do not understand that I set up an appointment for her on my birthday. Plus, why would I scare her off? She usually calls me sometimes or text me at times. Plus I will wait til my birthday. If nothing comes out of this, then I will forget the whole thing, but then I will not look anymore. I might just stay a hermit until I find that attributes I want.
TopWhop's Avatar
Casey Taylor + 1
Perfectly stated Miss Casey
shaft.drive's Avatar
Hey Leopard

here is my 2c

The_Leopard's Avatar
Hey Leopard

here is my 2c

Originally Posted by shaft.drive


Well, I just want to understand that I might take a break and hang it up if nothing comes up.
SofaKingFun's Avatar
My ATF was robbed in San Antonio Wednesday night. I was trying to contact her today to see if she was alright and there was no answer.

I am very upset that she didn't call back to let me know what I can do. I got a gift for her on hold at a jewelry place and plan to buying it later this month and the first week of September.

My birthday plans are ruined. I am upset. I wish she would call back, but if she left town or got arrested, then this will just boil my blood. I am terribly pissed. I love tall girls, but I don't want to become a hermit once again and wait for another tall girl.

Originally Posted by The_Leopard
Okay...wow. If she was robbed, hopefully she's alright. But this next part...well, just follow me on this...


The_Leopard said,

No, she texted me. And twice about the robbery. I tried to call to see if we were still on for my birthday meeting.

You do not understand that I set up an appointment for her on my birthday. Plus, why would I scare her off? She usually calls me sometimes or text me at times. Plus I will wait til my birthday. If nothing comes out of this, then I will forget the whole thing, but then I will not look anymore. I might just stay a hermit until I find that attributes I want
{Enter Dr Phil Mode}

Okay, this "ATF" of yours was just robbed, correct? And she texts you twice to tell you about it, yes?

and YOUR reply to that was to call her and see if your session was still on???!!!

Is that what you're saying? I thinck it is...

Now aside from the fact that she's just been robbed, and depending on the circumstances of this alleged robbery,
she's probably pretty upset and emotionally distraught, traumatized, etc, wouldn't you thinck?

Well then, I'm just going to throw this out there...

Is it at all possible that your all-important Birthday session that you scheduled with her however long ago,
might not have been the most sympathetic and reassuring topic to bring up while she's trying to come to grips
with this robbery that she had just been a victim of?

I mean, I don't know, maybe she was looking for some sort of shoulder to cry on, or some emotional support or whatever-
--but yeah, lets bring up YOUR scheduled session at this juncture because that's what's really important in the grand scheme of things,
isn't it, you and your wants?

Of course it is.

It's kind of surprising but out of the millions of studies and tests done on just this subject, the results have proven that some women *might* have an issue with that.

Yeah, no shit!

Annnnd, believe it or not, some of these women have even called it inconsiderate.

I kid you not.

Shocking huh?

....and, you're really going to freak when you hear this. Ready?

This inconsiderate behavior could very easily be *the* reason that she's not taking/returning your calls.
You might have pissed her off so badly by being so ridiculously inconsiderate
that she wants nothing to do with you any longer.

I'm not saying that this is what happened.
I'm merely offering a very likely possibility
going strictly from what you've claimed in the posts above.


That said, and this is just a broad generalization. Some women tend to sort of shy away from clingy, needy, inconsiderate guys.
They've got this very acute ability to immediately spot the signs, or the cautionary signals that are sent up by someone's actions or behavioral patterns.

Needy, clingy, smothering, are all behavioral characteristics which could trigger these warning signals.
They are also fundamental characteristics which make up the obsessive behavior.
Contrary to the little voices in one's head, telling this person that their perception of the situation is correct and rational {*ahem*},
this behavioral pattern is sometimes easy to spot and it can also be the catalyst for setting off an interesting series of events.
~>a warning ~> triggers a woman's defensive mechanism ~> causing a reaction--typically out of fear.

This reaction could be anything from behavior which is rational to that which is irrational from something as simple as shutting themselves off from that perceived threat or danger, to any number of things.

I don't know what the answer is, but I would *strongly* suggest that you not let yourself get too worked up about it.
Take a step back and look at this deal calmly, rationally and most importantly, *objectively*.
Try to see things from her perspective and see if you can understand how this deal might have come unwound.

What you must NOT do is to crowd her.
She's got your contact information and you've OBVIOUSLY let her know that you're concerned.

So the ball's in her court. What she chooses to do is entirely UP TO HER. Allow her the space to make that decision on her own.


{Exit Dr Phil Mode}

{enter SKF}


Dude, you're all ate up with a serious case of the dumbass. You've probably scared her away with your obsessive, clingy/needy/smothering behavior. Feel free to back away and give her a LOT of space because, you're showing signs of irrationality and dare I say it, obsessive behavior. You're a client. Period. Reel your feelings in and stop acting like she's the only one who can make you happy. If she wants to contact you, she will. Going ape-shit blowing up; her phone, going by her place, sending her endless e-mail after e-mail etc.etc. ad infinitim, is NOT the best approach. Trust me on this one. Back away, give it some time, and her some space. If she calls, then she's probably interested. If not....well, there's your answer.

Good luck.

SKF
Deuce Bigalow's Avatar
Initially, it seemed to me that you were upset because she got robbed. Now it seems to be that, yes, you were upset because she got robbed, but the upsetting part was that it might jeopardize your birthday plans.
You explained she was special to you, but apparently you meant that as it was part of what was going to make your birthday especially special.
It's also starting to sound like your concern that you hadn't heard from her is more a concern that this robbery has inconveniently disrupted the normal flow of contact you had grown accustomed to from her.
In other words, you have been victimized by this robbery that has messed everything up for you and really pissed you off.

Because you're such a good guy, and she's so special to you ("special" = tall), you've decided to patiently wait for her to resume normal contact, but if you haven't heard from her by your birthday you're going to just "forget the whole thing", boycott BP and ECCIE, and maybe just "stay a hermit" until you run across another tall girl ("tall" = special).
As a grown man, that is the decision you've decided to make.

My advice to you would be, if you do ever see her again, most definitely tip this special lady A LOT. I suspect she'll deserve it.

If you end up spending some time as a hermit, and somewhere down the road you decide to give this game another try, don't be surprised if the next lady you get involved with coincidentally calls you with the news that she also has been robbed. In fact, you might want to prepare yourself for the possibility that you might hear similar sad stories a few times before you find the right lady to meet your needs. Some of the bigger jewelry stores offer their own credit card.

It may take some time, and there might be some bumps in the road along the way, but eventually you'll find that very special lady that meets all your needs. When you do, the time and effort will have been worth it, and you'll be glad you waited for that special person to present her that most special gift you've waited so long to give. You'll know she's the one that will take good care of your balls when you present them to her.

Don't let some of these insensitive bastards here bother you. Not a one of them is a romantic like yourself so they don't understand. They're probably just jealous of you so disregard them. Besides, they're your balls and you can hand them over to whoever you want to.

This is really a beautiful story.
Someone pass me a tissue, please.