EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

Only emotional vampires will have a problem with this thread. LOL! Originally Posted by Naomi4u

It sure is making me think....and take a good look at myself....I may not have the fangs but I recognize some "tendencies".....

Being needy or clingy is not a matter of being single or married. It's a matter of not having ones self. Without having ourselves, being self reliant one cannot have a successful relationship with anyone. As we go through life people will come in and out of our lives. If we rely solely upon others for our self worth then in reality we have nothing. But if we have ourselves, and what I mean by that is, if we extend ourself to others and bring something of ourself to their life and also cherish what others give to us, then we can never be needy or clingy. Originally Posted by acp5762

Let me see if I understand you.

Rely on many for your self worth, not just a few? I would tend to agree with that. Let's be honest, none of us are a island , content to have no human contact. So we are all dependent on others, I think it is a crop of caca to think otherwise.

Many ladies actually exploit men with means that are emotionally dependent. There is always a ying to the yang.

1-800-WHAA

It sure is making me think....and take a good look at myself....I may not have the fangs but I recognize some "tendencies"..... Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

lol! Oooh my love but you're not annoying. The guy I was referring to as annoying as hell. He invaded my privacy / tried to pry into my personal life and took a lot of my free time. Constant calls and over 7 emails a day..is that normal to you?

Many ladies actually exploit men with means that are emotionally dependent. There is always a ying to the yang. Originally Posted by WTF

Glad you said many and not all. It would have been very easy for me to take advantage of this man but I could not. He was very needy/clingy and emotionally unstable. One day he called me to let me know that his 17 year old daughter found our emails and started to ask me what I was going to do about it as if it was my fault. He wanted to know if I'd move in with him if he separated with his wife. Yeah he needed something alright... therapy NOT me.

Glad you said many and not all. . Originally Posted by Naomi4u

We all exploit things.

Whether we acknowledge it or not is another matter.

It is not always a bad thing.

Waterburger exploited my hunger last night and I gladly let them.

Great topic, guys!

I think Mr. acp5762 Takes the cake on this one, as the needy can fall under every social label. I do not agree with Marshall's generalization about needy men always require more time with their companions. Some men like the company of a woman. And actually realize that WE are WOMEN. Not just hookers and prostitutes, but real live people with feelings and emotions. There is nothing wrong with genuinely sharing a moment with another person. Some people just can't leave it there, though. So as women, we have to learn how to notice early on the attributes that can later lead to problems. I also agree with Nina. Admiration from a man is great. Admiration from someone who doesn't admire himself is dangerous. It is a shame that Naomi had to experience that in ANY arena. This is not cool in this industry, or in our civvie lives.

That is why I really don't do GFE. I am not one looking to cross the line.
sixx Originally Posted by sixxbach

sixx, I admire a man who knows his limits, but requiring/requesting/preferring GFE doesn't make anyone less than a man, or a line-crosser. It doesn't make me a dramatic needy broke provider because I prefer them. Because I CAN emotionally and financially, I prefer that my interactions in everything I do be a close to normal as they can get. It's what's in a person's head that matters.

Fact 1: We are in a very emotional business, us providers.
*Some guys really have to look at us like pieces of meat to numb those feelings that are normal with our type of human interaction.
*Some people (both ladies and men) can view even the most romantic of encounters as just an encounter. We find ourselves comfortable with certain individuals because they know the potential for more great times is possible. We also know when to diversify when the parameters of our relationship are about to be crossed.
*Some men (in both the civvie and escort arenas), through something lacking in themselves emotionally and sometimes physically, seek out women they think are also vulnerable and lacking, thinking that they make perfect match.
*Some women go along for that very same reason. They tend not to understand the depth of their actions either not at all, making them doomed to repeat this process, or until it's too late.

Your predisposition to a political view does not make you any more or less an emotional vamipre (though I would KILL to see a study done). That's because most people don't know the reason why they vote the way they do anyway.

Marshall, I appreciate this topic.

way too demanding... All this attention, dear lord....

But i know women who date these guys who have a special psyche too, these are those who define themselves over their attractiveness for men. Which means their self esteem is defined by males attention and attriubutes.
Its a two way ego boost road.
Woman with low self esteem (possibly being an attention seeker) finds man with an overload of emotional needs and gets her freak on by his attention.

You can easily identify these people by placing on how " special" and different they think they are from the ordinary crowd . Its a "low self esteem" ego boost. Originally Posted by ninasastri

Excellent points , Nina!!

There is no shortage of ego-freaks in this little hobby of ours.... male and/or female!!

I am guessing that a vast majority of the women here believe themselves to be desireable by others on at least some level.... or else, how would you be able to market your services? Enjoying the financial advantage of that attractiveness and making yourselves available to several unknown clients, opens the door to every type of male-ego out there.

These emotional vampires don't assume any control right away.... it's the escort's (or SugarBabe's) responsibility to find a way to maintain that "professional barrier". It is both side's responsibility... but you girls are considered the "paid-professionals" here. * It might be a royal pain in the ass... but it's part of the profession.

Perversely.... how many ladies here admit to being disappointed when a client they find to be attractive (on whatever level) , doesn't cum back for more after the first date?

there are a lot of men that can spend multi-hours with a provider without crossing the line. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

True, but those aren't the men who schedule multiple hours. The mentally healthy men just want to get laid. They have family, friends and SO for their emotional needs [and for free!]. They pay for sex [in a friendly atmosphere], not companionship.......

Let me see if I understand you.

Rely on many for your self worth, not just a few? I would tend to agree with that. Let's be honest, none of us are a island , content to have no human contact. So we are all dependent on others, I think it is a crop of caca to think otherwise.

Many ladies actually exploit men with means that are emotionally dependent. There is always a ying to the yang. Originally Posted by WTF

Remember, WTF, that all issues have their balance. If you have emotionally needy, about to jump off the building because they're so lonely and can't stand to be single types on one side, and all the way on the other side you have people who are absolute hermits, holding people to their high expectations and standards, who generally have very small impenetrable circles (both who would require medication, of course) there are those in the middle, whose minds are open to new people and experiences, but love themselves enough to be okay on their own when things don't work out.

And women are not exempt from being vampires. No one person is at fault. A woman knowingly going into a relationship with an emotionally needy man because he's needy enough to give her everything she wants to stay is setting herself up for the biggest kharmatic downfall in her life.

All I got from what he said is that when you know who you are, you know the type of people to avoid. When you know who you are, and willingly accept the negative to feed the negativity in yourself or another, that's when you have problems.

More and more informative. I never thought I would thank Marshall for starting a thread lol Originally Posted by discreetgent

Ohhhhhhhhh....this post gets saved on the harddrive.....

I do agree with the ladies on this one.....they're only out to earn a living, not start a relationship...in fact, it appears many of them put relationships on hold to earn a living......I gave some thought to the issue of multiple hour dates: the ladies do it to make a few extra bucks, the guys?????????????? I can't think of any good reason a guy would scheduled more than 2-4 hours.....even at 4 hours I wonder, though sex-dinner-sex makes some sense to me.......

Ohhhhhhhhh....this post gets saved on the harddrive.....I do agree with the ladies on this one.....they're only out to earn a living, not start a relationship...in fact, it appears many of them put relationships on hold to earn a living......I gave some thought to the issue of multiple hour dates: the ladies do it to make a few extra bucks, the guys?????????????? I can't think of any good reason a guy would scheduled more than 2-4 hours.....even at 4 hours I wonder, though sex-dinner-sex makes some sense to me....... Originally Posted by Marshall

No wonder I've always liked you. *sigh* I love men in this hobby that get it. You know? Not the delusional ones!

Yesterday I received a text message from a former client of mine. The last time I saw him was last year july. He asked if I would come out and see him and I made it clear to him that I was no longer providing. He then sends a text saying "You got me through a really rough time in your life. You're a beautiful person inside and out." and I responded "Ooh thank you so much. We will always be friends". He says "Friends with benefits maybe?"....

Some men just don't get it!

No wonder I've always liked you. *sigh* I love men in this hobby that get it. You know? Not the delusional ones!
Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I'm gonna quote this before it gets deleted......

True, but those aren't the men who schedule multiple hours. The mentally healthy men just want to get laid. They have family, friends and SO for their emotional needs [and for free!]. They pay for sex [in a friendly atmosphere], not companionship....... Originally Posted by Marshall

So you think the only men who are mentally healthy has to see us only as ASS FOR SALE signs in order to get laid? The men who see us worthy of their time, or maybe needs the time to be more attracted to a woman's body is mentally unhealthy?

Yeah, you've pissed me off with this one.

I could care less about the emotional connection a man has with his wife. I'm not TRYING to be your wife, or take her place in your life. I can't speak for all of the ladies on this board, but I, sir, despite the ASS FOR SALE sign, am a human being. I am a woman just like, if not more than your wife. Why you buy puss-er- companionship is none of my business, but to say that the men that patronize my services are mentally unstable because they see me as a woman, and not just a fuckhole, is downright insulting.

I don't have drama in my life. Because neither I nor my clients are emotionally DEPENDENT on each other. I don't have drama in my life because I'm not even FINANCIALLY dependent on my clients. I see the people I like to see. Yes, the objective is the same, but the means by which one gets to that end is done based on one's emotional ability to do so.

I offer longer dates because I have the emotional capability to see an actual person when we meet. If you cannot find yourself emotionally able to spend more than 30 minutes with a human being to get to your 'end', just patronize accordingly. Don't judge those that have a different way of doing things.

Both ladies and men should understand that life is not black and white.

So you think the only men who are mentally healthy has to see us only as ASS FOR SALE signs in order to get laid? The men who see us worthy of their time, or maybe needs the time to be more attracted to a woman's body is mentally unhealthy? Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

Agreed. I don't think there is anything wrong with/ or unhealthy about a man that schedules multi-hours or even multi-day engagements. However, I feel that those that blur the lines should seek therapy or visit match.com.

Agreed. I don't think there is anything wrong with/ or unhealthy about a man that schedules multi-hours or even multi-day engagements. However, I feel that those that blur the lines should seek therapy or visit match.com. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

I agree as well. Let's just admit there are needy men out there that need a therapist. Hell, they need the therapy before they get to Match.com! And there some men who have that 'I'm just getting laid' mentality that need it too. Any time you find yourself on the extreme end of any situation, and you are trying to fool yourself into ignoring the obvious, you are missing something.