I think you misunderstood me, or I made a mistake in word choices (I am far from perfect LOL). Healing is the only way to go from victim to Survivor. However each person Heals, then that is their Healing Journey. Whatever Works is my saying, each person will have different ways of completing their Healing Journey.
Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth
100% agrrement
Bella:
Your life sounds a lot better than mine has ever been pre-therapy, and man I am super happy to hear that! It has been a really difficult life for me before therapy. I am just saying there has to have been some time in your life when you dealt with the abuse leading to healing in order for your life to be as happy as you say it is. So good for you for healing a long time ago. I am currently in the process of healing.
I think falling in love w/a wonderful man and having our children was the beginning of my healing and dare I say self-therapy. I couldn't raise them differently than I (and their father) if I didn't face and deal with the shit I'd endured.
My biggest epiphany was when I realized that no matter what happened - apologies from abusers, therapy, etc - I couldn't make it UNhappen. That was followed closely by realizing that it wasn't
MY fault. A five-six-eight-ten year old child does
NOT welcome sexual advances from adult males.
I don't struggle or deal with my past every day, but it is always there.
I am right there with you. Sexual abuse from one, and constant verbal, mental and physical abuse from the other. That was my story. Lonely world out there for a kid with no one!
Yes, and sad that the people who are supposed to love and protect you are the ones perpetrating the abuse.
In my case, my parents were both abused physically and mentally as well - THEY surely could've benefited from therapy.
Never happened, they died.
Like you though, I don't think I would change a thing. What if I had not ever been abused, and ended up growing up to be a bad or mean person? That would be worse for me to know I was a bad/mean person. So looking at my abuse through positive eyes, I am the great person I am today because of my experiences. I am okay with that, I can accept my world and I am happy with who I am inwardly because of what I have endured.
I am Proud of You! Takes a lot of Strength and Courage to open up telling people some very dark parts of one's life! 
I'm more confused than proud of myself, lol, but thankful none-the-less.
Also thankful that you realize that I wasn't trying to be cruel, just pointing out that many of us are fragile and take words to heart.
P.S. There is no scale for "normal" unless you go by what the majority of society considers "normal" LOL. Those are most of the people I try to stray away from anyway. So why would I want to fit into their version of "normal"? I know I am not "normal", and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Again, we think alike. I have always swayed from the norm, have encouraged my children to do the same.
Take great care BF and know that I admire you for your strength and courage.
B.
)
