need help asap

Years I've practiced criminal law: 32
Number of cases I've handled: I have no idea, but certainly more than 5,000
Number of times the State has brought a forfeiture action regarding my fee: 0

Of course, the professors at the Breaking Bad School of Law may have different experiences. Originally Posted by ShysterJon
It's actually not that funny considering I was only giving an example of a character on the show. But okay.
To hell with all this lawyer talk, there's a real travesty that needs to be addressed...

...mix a really nice dry Manhattan with a fav gin. Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

In no way, shape, or form whatsoever is gin EVER an ingredient in a Manhattan.

OK...please return to insulting each other...
Texanbychoice's Avatar
Whew. Also, only a sleazy attorney tells masses of people they should have an attorney on retainer BC of involvement in what could be illegal activity. No stand-up attorney would accept that.

"You have to know the rules, to break the rules" Originally Posted by PhillyChik
1. If you are going to call names know your facts. An attorney who gets your ass out of jail and beats the rap is doubtfully sleazy.

2. ANY person who has something valuable to them to lose should always have an attorney on retainer. Know any Fortune 500 company that does NOT have a team of lawyers on payroll? Do you think that someone who gets arrested and makes 300k a year spends the night in jail? No. They do not. I have physically seen a 3 am call for someone brought in for dwi and 45 mins later the lawyer was not only there but had him walking out the front door.

3. I find it HIGHLY laughable when people quote the law with no experiance or training. Attorneys go through 4 years of college plus several more after I believe and have to pass a bar exam. Police ( in every state except Alabama and that is changing) must go through an academy and pass a state licensing exam. The difficulty varies from state to state, but it is harder than any college final.

4. Stand up attorneys... Are you referencing the prosecutors who fabricate or withhold evidence from defense lawyers for convictions (as has happened repeatedly ALL over the US), the defense lawyers who have gotten murderers of children off on technicalities ( agaon as happened ALL over the US), or the rest who represent people in other criminal/civil matters?

Lawyers have a job, just like the police and just like you providers. There are different aspects those jobs and its not the same everyday. Some days the lawyer has to get a landlord his back money owed him. The next he is defending a dwi. The next he may be getting a single dad custody. The very same day he may be getting my soliciting misdemeanor dismissed.

One day the police officer may be writing you a traffic ticket. The next he is answering a domestic because your hubby is high and beating your ass and 30 minutes later he is holding his partner who took 3 bullets for him as he dies in his arms.

One day my favorite provider may be relieving my stress BCD because i just lost a large contract because of employees piss poor service. The next she may be going to Trans Siberian Orchestra with me because I work so damn much I dont have time for a relationship.

Crap. Lost track of my rant. I hate typing on my smart phone. I cant scroll easy on it. Oh yes. The point is the jobs for all 3 are varied and change. Lawyers dont like being called sleazy, cops dont like being called unprofessional, and i am sure providers do not like to be called whores.

so.....GET a lawyer who knows what he is doing. Its insurance to protect you. As far as advertising to ths masses? Sj never asked anyone to retain him. He simply offered an opinion on the OPs predicament.

I personally made the decision to put ShysterJon on retainer 2 days ago because I know IF something happens (and I do have some training in law) that the only thing that willl save me from a life altering conviction is a damn good attorney. Whether its my rentals, my vending service, or my licensing at the oil company.

Why would I listen to someone with who uses a tv show for bad examples and quotes penal code without any training with my livelihood over an attorney with 30+yrs of experiance?

Btw. If everything i see on tv is real, I want those buns of steel and my ginsu to stay sharp after cutting through a bunch of cans.
fragtasticator's Avatar
WHOA WHOA WHOA!

How dare you defame the name of Saul Goodman?!

Guy was actually pretty moral, for a lawyer.
Fast Gunn's Avatar
I would surmise judging from the poor quality of your posts that fools would form the bulk of your client base, shyster.

. . . Even the bottom of the barrel attorneys should know it is not be wise to bite the hand that feeds you!





Well, Fast Gunn, if you actually KNEW any attorneys, you'd know we don't suffer fools gladly, including you. Originally Posted by ShysterJon
Generally, I find his posts to be of excellent quality.

People who come here and bash and complain about someone who consistently volunteers his time to benefit everyone in the hobby confuse me.

ShysterJon is an asset here and I, for one, appreciate his participation.
ShysterJon's Avatar
I would surmise judging from the poor quality of your posts that fools would form the bulk of your client base, shyster.

. . . Even the bottom of the barrel attorneys should know it is not be wise to bite the hand that feeds you!

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn
I invite you to pick out one of my posts and show me how I'm wrong. If you can't do that, then I invite you to STFU.

btw, the good thing about having my own firm and not taking court appointments is I get to choose who I represent. If the person's a fool, like Fast Gunn, I can pass them on to another attorney with more patience than me dealing with fools.
Unique_Carpenter's Avatar
And a comment from the far northern wastelands:
If I had any issues in Texas, there's three folks down there that I would trust. One of whom is on this board, and another used to be.
SJ's comments are always on point and correct.
Granted some are technical or procedural but that's the way it is in legal world. And is not that the point of this Forum?
I'm not going to repeat several of Tbc's valid comments. But, everyone should reread his 2nd & 4th points.
And, all three of Muse's points are on the spot. Frankly, this is a community board.
For myself, and to make a point, I've been with my atty for close to 20 yrs. We don't bother to bill each other any more. Unless nice bottles of whisky count for that.





SJ, thanks for taking the time... Lol... But it's a lost cause...
Yes if there are a legit agency. Yes they can.
Back to the OP's question and to reframe the question I will invite him to have THIS exchange in a Dennys

"Here is the $2 I owe you--I am only paying you this much because the eggs were cold"

I am sure the lady at the register would be fine with that--right? Reducing the tip or a complaint to the manager for cold eggs sure--but that is only after you are square with the bill or THEY have agreed to reduce it to keep a customer...If they are saying you didn't pay the agreed upon service fee then you didn't and you are wrong...Hell, even in a B&S situation we all have the ability to walk before the service fee is agreed upon...

CI
I have no way of knowing. But, I think it's irresponsible of you to put that out there if so. Just my opinion.

Either way, name-calling and attempting to discredit "my opinions" based on my length of time belonging to a forum is unprofessional and just ignorant. Originally Posted by PhillyChik
SJ is indeed an attorney

but like you pointed out.. should they have taken the OP to court.. it would be CIVIL, not criminal.. and you ever hear of the term "Court of Public Opinion"?

He could expose them for what they are.. doubtful they would be legit and even if they are.. a jury which he would have a right to might not *LIKE* what they do and vote against them out of spite..

Plus he would be the "Defendant" so rules of discovery may apply (SJ help me out here if you need to) but he would have the right to dig into their business, who owns the place, who works there etc.. once that starts happening a lot of dirty secrets can appear and gee.. some of the ladies working there might not like the fact that they are married and doing this without their spouse's knowledge, or they are going to college etc.. suddenly they are "Outed" and guess what.. not a damn thing they can do.

Simple rule, When you threaten to get down and dirty, you want to make sure the other person does not mind getting dirty or have the ability to sling 3 times as much mud back at you from a farther distance.

Oh and God forbid this Escort service was operating in a neighborhood at someone's house or too close to a school, playground, etc...


So do I think it was wrong for him to short change the place for bad service? NOPE!! she got paid what he thought it was worth.
... and also question the wisdom of someone that gets into an internet forum fight with a professional wordsmith... That's like showing up to a gunfight with a knife...


Generally, I find his posts to be of excellent quality.

People who come here and bash and complain about someone who consistently volunteers his time to benefit everyone in the hobby confuse me.

ShysterJon is an asset here and I, for one, appreciate his participation. Originally Posted by Your Naughty Muse
ShysterJon's Avatar
... and also question the wisdom of someone that gets into an internet forum fight with a professional wordsmith... That's like showing up to a gunfight with a knife... Originally Posted by straightshooter30
At times I think that some people avoid being shot only because murder is illegal.
rcinokc's Avatar
Sometimes a good bluff can save you as well. Worked for me in a strip club a couple years ago when I "contracted" with a young lady for a lap dance. She took me to the designated area, popped a boob into my mouth then told me it would be an extra 5.00. I told her I didn't think so and headed back to my seat. Some muscled up manager showed up telling me he was gonna call the cops if I didn't pay her right then. I invited him to go right ahead, explaining that by the time I got through telling my story I may go to jail, but at the very least both he and the stripper would be going with me. He backed off, told the girl he would cover her for the dance and made me leave. And for the record, I would only recommend the bluff for occasional use and not as a go to move, but it may have served the OP well in this instance.