The Importance of Keeping Your Individuality When Married

WTF, does that mean you think I am? lol Originally Posted by discreetgent

It means I thought you were.

lol

Damn, and all this time I thought I was perfect. Originally Posted by discreetgent

DG, you mean to tell us you aren't?

Coulda fooled me Originally Posted by WTF

WTF, does that mean you think I am? lol Originally Posted by discreetgent

It means I thought you were. Originally Posted by WTF

lol Originally Posted by discreetgent

Somehow "Get a room" seemed appropriate here.

Somehow "Get a room" seemed appropriate here. Originally Posted by Rudyard K

Maybe before, when I thought he was perfect...

Maybe before, when I thought he was perfect... Originally Posted by WTF

Well done, WTF. Your best comeback yet.

Well done, WTF. Your best comeback yet. Originally Posted by Rudyard K

You guys have given me plenty of practice

I feel honored to play even a small part in this achievement.

I think that both Lauren's and CT's articles speak the truth. They both give fresh perspectives on relationships that relationships in the past didn't have. Some of our parents or our grandparents married in a time when finding your own identity was not the norm, let alone finding your identity in a relationship. It was cookie-cutter. He was the breadwinner, she was the home maker.

With CT's article, it helps people think before just marrying the wrong person. True, you can't choose who (or how many) you fall in love with. But you can put into perspective the reason you do love. People tend to cling to the 'first thing smokin'', for fear of the lack of future opportunities for love, or there's physical chemistry. We see the signs that things won't work. Emotionally insecure. Intellectually unequal. Financially dependent. They make you feel tired just thinking about them, but you "love" them. Or whatever that means. You stay to try to "change" them or hope they will see your good and mimic it, but they never do, because you're an enabler.

I think it's important to understand who you are so you can stand alone. Only then will you have a part of yourself to give to another person. Reliance on another person to survive, think, or be happy is so passe'. Notwithstanding that lovers should always compliment each other, having different frames of reference in any given situation. This breeds a respect among partners, knowing when and where individual strengths should be applied. That in itself is their collective strength.

The problem with all this is foundation: a standard frame of reference from which one can base his life. One of the ROOT causes for the need of therapy and the reason one reads 'self help' books is not only perspective, but the need for something to build on emotionally. We look to our past experiences and religion, and when they don't make sense we are lost. We seek out love of people, and it is rare that love provides us with the answers we need.

HaluaLuYa! Thank God someone can see the light!


I should point out that we all do it, not just Lauren, it is human nature. Not trying to pick on Lauren. The problem is made worse by not acknowledging there is a problem. Looking for your own shortcomings and not others is not easy, especially on a message board. We are like animals puffing ourselves up to detract predators and attract mates. A big charade. Nobody wants to admit their shortcomings but the fact is that the smartest among us is woefully deficient in some field or other. Originally Posted by WTF

you are right as usual. oh and i have plenty of shortcomings. i tend to be aggressive and absolutely incapable of diplomacy . And incapable of small talk. I think we all "bash" something or something or "lash out" on someone. Also those people with the habit of being addicted to "harmony". I know people who craft words beautifully and are very well spoken and articulate, extremely diplomatic, and still - the content of what they "really" say is very offensive and not very well thought of.

I think that both Lauren's and CT's articles speak the truth. They both give fresh perspectives on relationships that relationships in the past didn't have. Some of our parents or our grandparents married in a time when finding your own identity was not the norm, let alone finding your identity in a relationship. It was cookie-cutter. He was the breadwinner, she was the home maker.

With CT's article, it helps people think before just marrying the wrong person. True, you can't choose who (or how many) you fall in love with. But you can put into perspective the reason you do love. People tend to cling to the 'first thing smokin'', for fear of the lack of future opportunities for love, or there's physical chemistry. We see the signs that things won't work. Emotionally insecure. Intellectually unequal. Financially dependent. They make you feel tired just thinking about them, but you "love" them. Or whatever that means. You stay to try to "change" them or hope they will see your good and mimic it, but they never do, because you're an enabler.
Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

Loved that post!! and agree wholeheartedly from my perspective

Do you have any recommendations on sacred prostitution? Originally Posted by ninasastri

The majority of what I have read has been included in a grander scheme of work about sexual culture throughout the ages, specifically in the chapters referring to early religion. Sacred Sex is also an aspect of paganism.

I do have a list of books I hope to get on the topic though:

Recasting the Devadasi: Patterns of Sacred Prostitution in Colonial South India
by Priyadarshini Vijaisri

Sacred Prostitution In Italy
by Edmund Dupouy

Androgynous Deities, Sex Worship, and Sacred Prostitution
by Hargrave Jennings

The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine (Studies in Jungian Psychology By Jungian Analysts, Vol 32)
by Nancy Qualls-Corbett and Marion Woodman

Sacred Prostitution; Marriage By Capture; Marriage Among Primitive Peoples And Origin Of Serpent Worship
by G. S. Wake

Truth is I buy and get books faster then I can read them - so own at least 80 books I have not yet read but intend to. I do love building my own personalized library

- double post -

Marriage...I wish I knew then what I know now.I am not sure anyone can keep individuality going during marriage."Hope for good sex"... my mother used to say LOL.

Androgynous Deities, Sex Worship, and Sacred Prostitution
by Hargrave Jennings

The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine (Studies in Jungian Psychology By Jungian Analysts, Vol 32)
by Nancy Qualls-Corbett and Marion Woodman Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

thanks Darling!
I appreciate!
I have a symbol of Sheila - Na - Gig i use on my page. Its also a symbol of sacred sex and a frog godess for sex as a positive affirmation. Usually these frog godesses were a symbol of sacred sex as a form of spirituality. Very interesting and has some similarities :-). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheela_na_Gig

@Lauren

I see from your new avatar you are channeling Jackson Pollack???