How do I give an honest reference???

This is a YMMV hobby/business, too many factors for any guarantees.

I think a reference should let a provider know he's not LE, paid the amount agreed to, and provider was safe.

Anything else is subject to factors that can change and/or personal preference. Originally Posted by sixxbach

Thats all Im looking for when asking for a reference..... and then I check the persons board history and see what type of poster they.are..

One problem I have is that I hobby so infrequently that it's hard to keep current references. The most current girl is either gone or the reference is over 6 months old. Good thing I've been here long enough and stayed out of drama that it's usually not a big problem. 😀

One problem I have is that I hobby so infrequently that it's hard to keep current references. The most current girl is either gone or the reference is over 6 months old. Good thing I've been here long enough and stayed out of drama that it's usually not a big problem. 😀 Originally Posted by Michael_Loomis

My same situation, but still here crickets on date requests

IB

Maybe you tell the guy, "don't use me as a reference." And why? Maybe he'll clean up his act. But if bad dudes do not get pussy, they have a great incentive to be good dudes.

Good question. Hope you're doing well since you're one of the good guys.

Both the Providers and Hobbyists have the option of being "Civil" in their responses. Words like "fresh", "rough" or even YMMV come to mind.

If there's a problem with "putting it in print" via a PM or email then use the phone for the gory details.

Far too many get into using expletives and BS that come back to haunt them. (Illusion that he ML is totally private and not shared) Attitude swings both ways. If you're into "Slut" and "Gang Banger" styles then it probably doesn't matter much and that crap turns you on.

Perhaps if a bit more civility was present on the boards the fire-fights would be fewer. MHO

A couple of years ago an ATF went crickets on me and I still don;t know why.
However I ask a another lady to screen me using the past ATF for a refrence
I was shone the request and responce
request
I want to see Dog 4 is he clean and will he be a problem?
Responce;
He is clean and will be no problem
Is this all the good guy refrence needed ?
Bad guy..... I don't have a clue how you would respond.

Be honest and be safe

Thats all Im looking for when asking for a reference..... and then I check the persons board history and see what type of poster they.are.. Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

This!!

Plus, I study their reviews to get a feel for what they might like and if I think we'd be a good match.

One issue you run into is that some girls will say he's good, even if he isn't, for fear of drama/backlash if she doesn't. Personally, I don't trust most anyone anymore. You have to rely on your self and your own screening methods. There's some girls that won't even give you an answer, because they don't want you seeing "their" client, which is delusional, because most of you guys see us all. Lol. Even if you tell us you don't! That's just the game. A lot of you see all types.

I agree with Sixx and Victoria mostly. Imo, ultimately, screening is the responsibility of the lady who is going to see that prospective client. Good clients usually never get discussed. Only the bad one's, unfortunately.

I have always wondered about the reference thing. The ladies are pleasent to each other on the board but they are in direct competition with each other. So giving a reference to another lady is giving up a potential client in a way I guess. One thing about the hobby is most mongers have a solid reliable lady that is a go to. When the new lady flakes and does not respond in a timely manor, or is a NSNC the monger may fall back on the regular reliable lady.

Maybe this is in the back of there mind, if I don't respond in a timely manor they will just end up seeing me or they are busy and see a reference request and ignore it. I would think that board history and the fact that you send multiple references and other screening info and the lady is experienced and has a good system that allows her to screen you in a fairly reliable and quick way. Honestly if a new provider has to check with every lady you list as a reference this could take a while.
For example, even the ladies I have seen and I want to see them again it takes sometimes all day if not longer before I get a response, if any at all. I can imagine how long it takes for a competing lady that is not making a dime off the lady requesting info on the new client takes to get a responce.

I have at least two solid references that I know will respond asap to a check request. They are not in compatition as they know I see them for the service I can only get frome them The reast are just to add to the good screening info package.

I try to pre screen and that way when I'm ready I just send a request and set a date.

Question, how do you ladies remember a monger that has sent you screening info two or three weeks later? Do you keep the PMs or text?

I was surprised when I contacted a lady requesting a date three weeks after I sent my pre screening info. I never heard back from her, but when I asked if she got my screening, she said yes, your good to go

IB