Question for the fellas!

Big_Mike88's Avatar
Time to let this thread die. Lol went way to deep for a question that was just meant to see what you guys say to your SO.

Yeah while most of what everyone had to say here made some sense, I'm still going to do what I want to do and let life take its course. But thank you everyone for your concern. I'll be fine and will be able to sleep at night after I get started in this hobby.
ck1942's Avatar
Best of luck, 88.

Not so much what I say to my s.o., but what I do not say.

Keep anything you say simple; base it on a grain of truth.

When I say I am "up in Austin" for a meeting, or in "Killeen," or in "Corpus" or "Houston," I generally am or have been at some point.

She has accompanied me to those locations, been bored to tears, would never even think of taking my car into their local traffic while I am in the meeting.

s.o. now has a variety of very legit activities (social, educational, work-out, medical, etc.) during the week that keep her out of my thinning hair, and away from my "work" activities here in SA or elsewhere. Enough so, that I may be able to expand the geography as worked in the past decade. Did some one say ROAD TRIP!!! Even overnights on occasion.

My point in all of the above is to 88 and others reading here: it's not so much how you cover up but that you do so very carefully.
Big_Mike88's Avatar
Best of luck, 88.

Not so much what I say to my s.o., but what I do not say.

Keep anything you say simple; base it on a grain of truth.

When I say I am "up in Austin" for a meeting, or in "Killeen," or in "Corpus" or "Houston," I generally am or have been at some point.

She has accompanied me to those locations, been bored to tears, would never even think of taking my car into their local traffic while I am in the meeting.

s.o. now has a variety of very legit activities (social, educational, work-out, medical, etc.) during the week that keep her out of my thinning hair, and away from my "work" activities here in SA or elsewhere. Enough so, that I may be able to expand the geography as worked in the past decade. Did some one say ROAD TRIP!!! Even overnights on occasion.

My point in all of the above is to 88 and others reading here: it's not so much how you cover up but that you do so very carefully. Originally Posted by ck1942
This is awesome advice and exactly the kind of thing I was looking to hear. Thanks!
JohnnyYanks's Avatar
How to be a liar and a cheat in 8 EZ steps: Keepin' it 88.
mayorcastro's Avatar
Don't lend money to hookers no matter the sob story
Big_Mike88's Avatar
How to be a liar and a cheat in 8 EZ steps: Keepin' it 88. Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks
I think I can manage that. Lol

Don't lend money to hookers no matter the sob story Originally Posted by mayorcastro
Lol advice taken.
i'm now single with a healthy hobby budget. but when I was married I would take every bit extra money and hide it in my truck!
JohnnyYanks's Avatar
Sure, maybe you don't mind that she is like that, and yeah going elsewhere to find it can be a fun wild ride.
- I'm not saying that people should or should not hobby, or if it is or isn't cheating.
- I'm still working out if I prefer monogamy or open relationships. (I do want you and everyone in the world to find love, and if you are dating, or committed, or married, or with an Escort, and to make the most of that. I'm always sharing these kinds of things with my few Clients, we talk about their RW dating life or problems during visits or even off the clock.)

Allow me to go way off topic.. I'd send this in a PM but maybe it can be helpful info to any other Guys and Lezbos out there… Info that I think can be useful with either a sorta innocent Escort or your sorta innocent GF of five years...

I used to be scared to even talk about sex.
I knew I wanted it, it was natural for me to want it, but even as a grown adult I was still turning red if I was shopping for panties and made eye contact with anyone….
Why are some women kinda prude - idk - I have a theory: Girls learn to be scared of sex and run away from the D.
{{Certain Cultures, Societies, and Families can teach the Female Members of their community that Ladies are bad, sluts, weird, and wrong if they are into sex, want sex, need sex, crave sex, think about sex, masturbate, enjoy sex too much, think anything is sexy, act aggressive about sex…}}
**Sometimes people don't even know that the way we feel or think about something is not due to our true desires but because from yay high to present day we were repeatedly convinced of an idea by books, bullies, comments, movies, parents, peers, religion, rumors, and watching our elders.**
>>Like when we are convinced that we should buy something after seeing celeb endorsed advertisements supporting the purchase over and over and over.<<
<3 I'm into women (and I am also a woman), so I'm going to talk to you like I'm one of the fellas for a second: I like shy girls, I like getting them to open up, I like setting them free, and bringing out that inner freak.
[a] It is a challenge, and if I'm not getting full blast brick wall STOP-ANNOYING-ME resistance, I'll be stubborn and keep trying.
[b] My experience is… best to go slow, but if you see that chance to rush in while she's displaying proper responses CHARGE AHEAD.
[c] Make her see ..slowly …that it isn't bad, it isn't wrong, and if she can't get past that .. it is bad and you like it …it is wrong which is why you love it …and you don't have to completely get full agreement to try those bad, wrong things, but "how about we just add a little pretending that we might be doing a slightly less bad deed/variation, just for pretend, ok babe, because I want you to know how good it feels and how good it makes me feel."
[d] GET IN HER EAR (maybe even begin dropping the suggestions with no eye contact possible - face away or hold her closer with your face behind her ear).
Tell her you think _____ is sexy.
The first, best, and most challenging and most helpful tool in the long run .. is to work ideas in through masturbation.
Maybe it needs to be mutual masturbation if she absolutely won't masturbate in front of you (I was one of those who "denied masturbating" at all because the word masturbation freaked me out and made me feel shame shame shame).
While she is touching herself or you are sweetly touching her say a thing or two.. to ask her to imagine which will put it in a way that she will think it is sexxxy also.
Make it sound Beautiful.
[e] Time it right.
Don't overload if she isn't ready and spread it out between romps … excitement over a minor success could make you lose your cool.
If she starts giving in to even a leeeetle fantasy, she is going to be on mind blown mode - oh hells yes orgasm - for a whole moment… (those thoughts you resist can make your orgasms mf-ing magical) why not be patient here and reward her with returning back to the love making that you know works well for you both.
And if she did like it, and wants more, you pausing the progress will tease tf out of her, before you know it she'll be the one bringing up trying new things. I hope right

Since being able to open up and liven my sex life, I have felt like the luckiest person .. touched Heaven a time or two … and can't believe how I almost ended up living the rest of my life in the box of Vanilla Sex.
I am forever grateful for the Partners that very gently and patiently allowed me to feel comfortable about allowing that freaky side to emerge.
You already started at no before you tried.
The worst that could happen < the best that could happen.



Best Wishes xoxo K Originally Posted by Gorgeous_Boriqua
That is a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing a small slice of generous honesty in this often barren place.