Providers not providing references for other providers?

StopShort's Avatar
+1 Eva!

I couldn't agree more! Develop alternative screening methods and don't depend on another provider getting back with you. The hobbyist is the buyer and the provider is the seller. The buyer has already let you know that there's interest in a transaction taking place. It's up to the seller to do what's necessary to close the deal through whatever means necessary.
Thank you to all the ladies who've helped us with references. Will be glad to return the favor if I ever get the opportunity
ElBombero's Avatar
Eva sounds like a smart lady.
Very well said Eva and I really do agree with you. We are NOT entitled to a lady responding or to a gent actually following through with an appt. However, it is nice. I am reference friendly and always will be because that's how I am. I have started to do my own screening outside of getting references and it's working out well. No issues thus far. It's just even more comforting when a lady can/will vouch for a guy. I have given several green lights for guys this week.
Hobby Safely Folks
~K
Allow me to play Devil's Advocate here, some may understand, yet not agree to this:

My (extra) income from this NEVER depends on the word of a stranger much less a woman who I have never met before conducting illegal business. No, we are not all "friends". This is business. I am a reference friendly companion, and as THN notes, I respond to references promptly and always respond professionally. When gents send me their references, I sometimes send them a link to my screening form also known as my "Affair application". I do this in case none of the references respond in enough time (or at all). By all means, It's not the references fault, and like clients, I am not entitled to the references time (hell, they could be at work, with family, a multi-hour, court, none of your business) because I don't want to (learn how to) do my own homework or *develop* a screening process not involving other parties regarding me and intimacy with a gentleman. Not only that, I am very discreet. This means I don't want providers and companions knowing who I am fucking... or who the gentleman is about to fuck for that matter.

References definitely do make screening easy, especially when the gentleman has no online presence or even a couple reviews to prove he is safe. But again as mentioned before, what may be polite, safe and generous to one companion, may be the polar opposite to another. That's why I feel it's important for *professional* companions to develop their own screening process fitting their business and personal preferences/needs. Can't do it? Join an agency. Just like references, they do all the redundant screening for you! Just expect to split all your money

In addition to regarding WHY some ladies are not reference friendly because she intends to have the client for "herself"(), there are even more professional companions who simply don't feel it fair that they took their time out their day when they seen the gentleman to screen him through her lengthy screening process just to tell another woman a simple "yay or nay". She gets a new sugar daddy, or generous and consistent regular - you get a " thanks" and a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Keep in mind that we sell our time and it takes time to give and respond to a reference from looking up accurate records. On the other hand sometimes I don't like asking for references or contacting references when they are provided in case the gentleman does not follow through with an appointment. Not only have I wasted my time screening, but I've wasted the references time in responding to me and going back in her records and notes to see if he is safe.

Do you really think I'd pass on a pleasurable experience and profitable opportunity because so and so provider happens to have her family day the same day I want to screw a man's brains out for my mortgage and need a response within the next couple of hours?? Nope. I'm not the one, the two, or three.

#evolve Originally Posted by Eva Damita


I see where you are coming from. At the end of the day it's on the provider to provide. I definitely understand when providers are busy doing whatever they are doing. Where my issue stands is when the provider doesnt respond to any of my calls, txt and emails but as soon as the hobbyist contacts her for a reference she lies about me making attempts to contact her then runs their specials to get the guy to see them. I'm not going to tell anyone how to run their business but I wouldn't want my clients to think I'm desperate or clingy. That's just me.

As I have stated in a previous post, I am new and still learning. I just started verifyhim so I won't have to depend on references but it is nice when everyone is a team player. Jenlith is a very successful provider and always provides honest references in good timing. Thank you Mami 💋 Even though you have your own methods of screening. Thank you Eva for providing a reference for me when needed. I like your affair application. Very clever. And yes I am coming to find out this business requires alot of homework!
Starboi08's Avatar
Eva sounds like a smart lady. Originally Posted by ElBombero
She is very intelligent and very beautiful
This is a great thread topic.

A provider who is not reference friendly (unless she advertises it) or takes a long time to get back with another provider seeking a reference needs to be exposed. Those ladies' phones would probably ring less often by hobbyists if they knew about it. While it is true that providers have a bigger life outside the hobby (at least, I hope they do) very few are going to get back with ladies who contact them for a reference within the hour, but IMO, they do need to check their email or hobby phone at least every few hours. After all, they would want the same courtesy.

A hobbyist who relies on a provider as a reference for giving to other providers and then she turns around and contacts that hobbyist to see her instead, also needs to be exposed. A good comeback for that hobbyist who receives a call like that is he will see her if she only sees him (which will not happen).

Kimber, you are right, there is a lot of homework when screening, and that goes both ways. No one should depend upon a scratch on the surface to be sufficient for screening: For guys, a great review or two of a provider will not guarantee that provider will be outstanding for you. Ladies, do not solely go by what you hear, especially from others who do not know nor have been with a particular hobbyist who wants to see you BCD (many on here that blow smoke have agendas). More focus needs to be made on the providers whom he has seen BCD for a better light to be shined on how he his and will be with you.
blondie7's Avatar


I normally do not post a lot nor respond to threads. However, since my name was brought up into this one, I decided I would explain my sometimes delayed reference responses. I am generally very good about responding to reference checks quickly. But, I, like most of us do have a life outside of the hobby that tends to get me away from logging onto hobby emails, or having my hobby phone in hand. I try to respond when I do get back, even if it is a few days later just out of respect. I am reference friendly as, I just provided two references this morning. IF I have missed responding to anyone I do apologize, it was not my intent to ignore anyone. I am a firm believer in these reference checks as, us providers do need to have each others backs in this fun filled world. Stay safe out there the world is becoming crazy.. XO

If you are going to use a provider as a reference, I would suggest you:

1. Verify the provider will indeed give a reference
2. Verify the best way for the other provider to contact her. It may or may not be the same preferred method used by clients
3. Verify if the reference providing provider needs the inquiring provider to give some reference about the client so the provider remembers who you are
4. Verify how long it typically takes for the reference to be given.

These things should greatly increase both the likelihood of having a reference given and how quickly it is given.

I know its crushing to guys but the providers don't sit around reminiscing about how great you were in the sack with them. As in #3 above. Or assume all providers will be happy to see a client's money go to someone else. #1 above
This is a great thread topic.

A provider who is not reference friendly (unless she advertises it) or takes a long time to get back with another provider seeking a reference needs to be exposed. Those ladies' phones would probably ring less often by hobbyists if they knew about it. While it is true that providers have a bigger life outside the hobby (at least, I hope they do) very few are going to get back with ladies who contact them for a reference within the hour, but IMO, they do need to check their email or hobby phone at least every few hours. After all, they would want the same courtesy.

A hobbyist who relies on a provider as a reference for giving to other providers and then she turns around and contacts that hobbyist to see her instead, also needs to be exposed. A good comeback for that hobbyist who receives a call like that is he will see her if she only sees him (which will not happen).

Kimber, you are right, there is a lot of homework when screening, and that goes both ways. No one should depend upon a scratch on the surface to be sufficient for screening: For guys, a great review or two of a provider will not guarantee that provider will be outstanding for you. Ladies, do not solely go by what you hear, especially from others who do not know nor have been with a particular hobbyist who wants to see you BCD (many on here that blow smoke have agendas). More focus needs to be made on the providers whom he has seen BCD for a better light to be shined on how he his and will be with you. Originally Posted by davidfree986

Well said
StopShort's Avatar
Even though the providers won't admit it, I think most hobbyists have found that there are providers who can be a bit territorial. Just like we as hobbyists have ATF's, providers have hobbyists who they may have taken a liking to. They don't want "their" man seeing another provider. In some cases, that's why you may not hear from a provider you're seeking a reference from.

I've had a couple of providers get a little pissy when I would go see someone else besides them
Even though the providers won't admit it, I think most hobbyists have found that there are providers who can be a bit territorial. Just like we as hobbyists have ATF's, providers have hobbyists who they may have taken a liking to their money. They don't want "their" man seeing another provider. In some cases, that's why you may not hear from a provider you're seeking a reference from.

I've had a couple of providers get a little pissy when I would go see someone else besides them Originally Posted by StopShort
Fixed that for you
StopShort's Avatar
^^^^Haaaaaaa!

Thanks!
Remember when Burger King came out with the 10 Nuggets for $1.49 ? McDonald's had 20 for $4.99 at that time. When it comes to business, the goal at hand is not to be "nice". The goal at hand is to generate revenue. It's no different in this *business.

Sometimes, it's not pretty. Of course, ethics/morals go out the window if an "illegal" business.

I'm not standing up for the ladies who cock block - I just tend to look at the reality of things when it comes to business and don't take it personal.

I appreciate the positive feedback from my post this morning and the kind words from you ladies and gents.
stephanie1's Avatar
Wow, I saw my name listed as somebody who doesn't give references for clients. That hurts!!! Ladies, Gentlemen, you know me better than that.