Saying "Hi" in public??

Everyone listen up.....Still-Asleep has spoken. He is (apparently) all-knowing, and has the corner on all of the hobby world's "absolutes."

The fact is, SA, there are no absolutes in life - not even in the hobby - not even in the Webster's Dictionary you pulled out for your last post.

If I see a provider I personally know in a public setting, all I can say is that I'll treat the situation appropriately. But "appropriately" will likely be different EVERY time. Like Rambo said - saying NOTHING when there's no reason for such behavior is tacky at best - and might come off as "haughty" or even worse. I don't want to portray that image to a provider - especially if I think I might want to see her again. If simple acknowledgement (just like I would acknowledge anyone I know from any aspect of my life) is just as easy, I will do so.

And for what it's worth (anticipating SA's argument of "you never know if....blah blah"), I think that if hobbyists and/or providers aren't ready with a "moment's notice" cover story for such situations with friends/relatives, then they're crazy. We all have multiple "elements" to our lives....case-in-point, I have two areas of my life that have virtually no interaction with each other. My cover is simple.....depending on who I'm with, I'll say, "Oh, I know her from....(the OTHER aspect of my life)." And obviously no names in the conversation - unless you KNOW THAT YOU KNOW her real name.

Other possibilities might include having, "met her at so-and-so's wedding," or "She's friends with so-and-so from the office," or friend of a roommate, etc.

Now - if my acknowledgement of her - or her of me - is inappropriately familiar or attentioin-grabbing - or really if it is ANYTHING more than a friendly "hello," like I would to any personal acquaintance of mine.....like the original post recounts certainly would qualify as......then that kind of behavior better be ONLY because you KNOW you're alone together - and even then, it would usually be tacky (e.g. - the original post story).

But for comparison purposes, I've had 5 such occasions where I found myself connecting "in public" with a provider. Twice, I let her walk by.....one of those times, she never saw me. Once, we made eye contact - I nodded my head very similar to what I might do to a complete stranger if we made eye contact. I might even say "Hi, how you doing?" like I do 25 times a day to complete strangers as I walk past them on the street or in the mall giving them the same look/nod.

In two of my five incidents, it has been one particular lady I've seen several times, and that I know is single - she knows I'm single. And both chance meetings have occurred in places where there was no reason for us not to "chat," so we did. Again - no names dropped during conversation (well - by the second time, I knew her real name - so maybe I said it then....don't remember for sure) - just simple "small-talk" chat like you'd do with your neighbor, or someone who you worked with 5 years ago, or met at a wedding, or whatever.

As to the original post - the guy showed no discretion whatsoever. No situational awareness - and is truly a douche bag. Ladies shouldn't have to put up with that kind of crap - and I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with this. I do think he's the exception, not the rule.....it's just sad that there are exceptions, period.

Elysa
No your not wrong... Some guys are Dipshits.. Originally Posted by DFWRaven

+1

btw .... a late welcome to eccie ... and dayum .. you are a beautiful woman!

Everyone listen up.....Still-Asleep has spoken. He is (apparently) all-knowing, and has the corner on all of the hobby world's "absolutes."

The fact is, SA, there are no absolutes in life - not even in the hobby - not even in the Webster's Dictionary you pulled out for your last post.

If I see a provider I personally know in a public setting, all I can say is that I'll treat the situation appropriately. But "appropriately" will likely be different EVERY time. Like Rambo said - saying NOTHING when there's no reason for such behavior is tacky at best - and might come off as "haughty" or even worse. I don't want to portray that image to a provider - especially if I think I might want to see her again. If simple acknowledgement (just like I would acknowledge anyone I know from any aspect of my life) is just as easy, I will do so.

And for what it's worth (anticipating SA's argument of "you never know if....blah blah"), I think that if hobbyists and/or providers aren't ready with a "moment's notice" cover story for such situations with friends/relatives, then they're crazy. Originally Posted by tml

That's brilliant. So we should just possibly put a provider in a bad situation and expect them to have a cover story. Great thinking there.

No provider is going to think you're "haughty" or tacky for not acknowledging her in public. In fact, most times, they will appreciate your discretion. It's best to go that route and then later when you meet the next time, the two of you can talk about it and laugh about it.

Are there situations where you two may know each other pretty well and both know it isn't an issue? Yes of course there are, but in a random sighting or meeting that isn't the case. In those cases there are too many unknowns so it's best to err on the side of caution and not possibly get her in trouble, or force her to have to come up with a story as you think is ok.

Well said, tml. Still asleep's taking it out of proportion. I'm just saying, or was trying to, the SLIGHTEST of acknowledgement between a passing hobbyist and provider is typically enough and everyone moves on happily about their way. I'm not talking about jumping up and down, pointing, yelling, and just generally acting like a jackwagon on steroids, like a couple jokers have done. If she's walking arm and arm with some dude or hanging out with some gal pals or mom and dad, obviously you don't do or say anything that would tip anybody off. Hence, DISCRETION.

Just saying.

Obviously, the guy is a dipshit to be that overt about it, but I'm on board with TML and Rambo. My S.O. catches me smiling, saying hi, nodding, holding the door open for other women all the time. There's no explanation needed other than common courtesy, or generally being friendly. I would need to reconsider my relationship with her if a simple nod prompted a heated discussion.

I do draw the line at calling someone by name. There's no need for that. That implicates a closer relationship than one that can be shrugged off as congeniality.

You folks keep spelling it wrong. That guy isn't a DUMB ASS... he is an ASS HOLE. Originally Posted by Bobave

I think Pendejo works well!

+1

btw .... a late welcome to eccie ... and dayum .. you are a beautiful woman! Originally Posted by dodger

Thank you Dodger!