This thread is probably a mine field to avoid but I'll tip toe in regardless. I think several here have given really good answers to OP's question. Personally, it's hard for me to imagine being with someone sexually; whether real, imagined, casual, or p4p, where I wouldn't care about their pleasure at all. I'm just not wired that way. I realize there are providers for those types of interactions, they're just not for me. In fact, I discovered eccie for fear of being with those dead fish providers that are clearly just waiting for you to finish and get out. I would rather self-gratify than be with someone like that.
I think it takes a cold and objectifying way of looking at people in order to be so intimate with someone (even if it's just physically) and to only have concern for your own gratification. Yes, if it's boiled down, it's a business transaction; but, even real world business transactions shouldn't be completely one-sided. I don't walk into Starbucks, give my order, pay, grab my drink and go. The cashier usually greets me, I'll return the getting, other pleasantries and perhaps smiles are exchanged, a thank you or enjoy your day, etc. These are all things we do to enhance the pleasure of the experience, even when it's a service. The same can be said for the hobby world. To me, it's just a part of being a decent human being....maybe that makes me a sucker,idk.