Who is actually "COOL WITH" (and can handle) having a Provider as an S.O.?

I had a wonderful 9 months with a dancer/provider years ago, and a great swinging relationship more recently. Neither ended because of sexuality or jealousy; we simply moved on when our lives headed in different directions.

I cannot imagine a healthy sex life based on monogamy, frankly. For either party. Are there boundaries which should be set? I believe so, but then there are boundaries in any successful relationship, be it in love, business, or friendship. At the end of the day, a romantic relationship is based on love and trust, and as long as no one is lying and both persons are in love, everything else is just SBS (Superfluous
BullShit.)

I don't think anyone can really know until the situation arises. There are way, way, way too many variables, personalities, and emotions involved. Was she a provider when you met, or did she decide to start later? Is this a casual-only relationship? Is one of you likely to get serious? Both? Is your ability to handle it going to change as your feelings for her change? Are you constantly worried she's comparing your skills? Add about a thousand etc.'s here.

I've been in relationships with 2 providers that lasted a couple of years each. The first one was pre-internet boards so I didn't have any graphic details of other guys 'conquests' of her, making her orgasm 27 times, etc as we sometimes read these days, which made it easier for me. She even connected me with her girlfriends for some fun times. We went separate ways for non-provider reasons.

The second girl was a L1 provider who I believed only did the extras with me, and reviews confirmed that for a long time, but I would read reviews of how guys thought extras were to be had with continued visits or she had done something with only them because they connected and YMMV, thus a hundred other guys took that as a challenge to try geting the same thing. Tough pressure on her for sure.

Eventually she was recruited to the boards and it was kinda like watching a train wreck for me. I continued to read the reviews, even though she claimed differently than some reviewers posted. I don't think she really changed at all, but my perception did. She was still kind, sweet, beautiful, a compassionate giver and nymph. I think if I had avoided reading her reviews, I/we would have been ok.

Heck, I may start looking for a new provider to try it a little differently!

I could definitely do it as long as I also have the freedom to be with other people. If she gets all weird on me and wants fidelity even though she is seeing "clients" all the time then that would not work. Not only could I handle being in a relationship with a provider under these circumstances, I would think it is perfect... To be in an open relationship with someone who is incredibly sexual and interesting, how could I not enjoy that?

I've sometimes wondered about the "flip side" of the question.

Would suggesting part time "providing" spark more interest and boost the SO's libido and self image? IF it was set business hours, very low volume, very well screened gentlemen (emphasis on gentle), then yes, I think I could handle it. I doubt she would be receptive, being older, and a little heavier than she used to be, she has become rather self conscious although she is still a very attractive woman.

Being uncertain of the outcome, I think I'll try to get her to at least go out this weekend somewhere the guys could flirt with her. After being together so long I'm sure she's bored with me and my compliments aren't what she is needing.

done it...we were cool with...and had fun...

I'll have to ask Reese if she is ok with me being ok with her providing. (I have asked her to marry me once or twice) What a turn on.

I could separate business from our personal relationship. The stories of her day would work me into a horny frenzy. Only issue that I could see becoming a big problem would be if she were too tired on a consistent basis to take care of my needs and desires. Originally Posted by cheatercheater

Of course, honey, I am okay with you being ok with it.

I am NEVER too tired to take care of my man...especially if he is the same with me.

Having a few close Provider friends with S.O.'s...and with some of the other recent S.O.-type threads I have often wondered:

Who is actually "cool with" and can handle (EMOTIONALLY AS WELL AS PHYSICALLY) having a Provider as a serious girlfriend/wife?

IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WORKING PROVIDER:
- Does knowing about it bother you or truly turn you on?

- During rough spots, do you bring it up/throw it in her face?

- Do you only tolerate it, but secretly wish for her to stop Providing?

- How do you guys make it work? (What works for you?)

- Do get sexed up everynight or is she "tired" because of her daily appts.?
- Do you get put to the back burner or is it friggin AWESOME to be with someone who's so sexual?

- Are there trust or security issues? (being enough for her, etc.)



GOOD or BAD idea? Comments and opinions welcome!!






BTW - Off subject -
...Shout out to my ECCIE friend Jack Daniels ~ i'm still seeing double babe! Originally Posted by ItalianaPrincess

I'm cool with it! As a matter a fact there are a few providers on here that I would get pregnant if they asked! I know TMI, but while we are on the subject, LOL!!!!!!

One of my ex's said I was not jealous enough. If we went out to a club and she wanted to dance with someone else I was fine with it b/c I knew she was coming home with me.
I think I would be more ok with it if she was not FS, but am not sure about that either.
I would worry about her safety, of course.
Um yeah I think I would be ok with it.
B or IP wanna try?? & Do you want to see me first as a date or client?

A man can live happily with any woman...
so long as he doesn't love her...

That says something about guys who claim they would be cool with it -

A man can live happily with any woman...
so long as he doesn't love her...

That says something about guys who claim they would be cool with it Originally Posted by Bobave

Here's a couple of quotes I like...

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” - Richard Bach.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own” - Robert Heinlein.

I would be cool with my wife wanting to do this..it's only fair since I'm doing it but I'm married to Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm so it'll NEVER happen...I know I'm gonna get caught one of these days and when that happens, I'm going to propose a 3-some with her and a Provider here...just to see how much she really loves me and accepts my current lifestyle, which I won't give up.

And Bobave, Bushaholic...I like both of your posts above.

ABSOLUTLY, Yes!

A man can live happily with any woman...
so long as he doesn't love her...

That says something about guys who claim they would be cool with it - Originally Posted by Bobave

I think the fact you believe that says more about you.

I don't know how I would handle it, honestly. As long as I knew about it beforehand, at least I would have the option of making a decision one way or the other. I would have a problem with it if she said I'm going to be a provider, but you can't see anyone else. That said, I'd be willing to try with the right provider.