Dating a Provider

winn dixie's Avatar
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The Truth
lilylivered's Avatar
Studies have shown that 69-80% of sex workers have either narcissistic or borderline personality disorders. Look it up. It is genetically driven and triggered by some form of childhood trauma (rape, incest, abandonment). Hence they learn skills of manipulation and lying to survive the situation and overcome their trauma. From their perspective this is the minds natural response to overcome their issues. They lie to themselves and reconstruct reality to mask the shame of their childhood. They don’t think they are sick or damaged! Sex work is perfect because it’s a steady supply of adulation to overcome their feelings of inadequacy and reinforced financial return makes them feel successful. They aren’t forced to address their flaws like would occur in a healthy relationship. In short their disorders are reinforced and strengthened. If they get into therapy the success rate is less than 5% (Mayo Clinic) and requires 5-10 years of commitment. Most therapists won’t touch them.

In short, no way can you have a real long term relationship with these girls. The only way I would do it is with someone who was only in the hobby for a short period of time (like a month). The deck is just too stacked against you no matter what you do. Originally Posted by Northerndancer
The same clowns who made that study probably say the same thing about gun owners.
That being said, a relationship for me would not be a priority.
But if it works for you, go for it
Northerndancer's Avatar
LOL
As someone who owns: G17; G19; G48; MR762A;LWRCI ICA-5 (both 16.5” and 11.5”); benelli M4; beretta 1301; and one OSS silencer, as well as converted at least 3 SA girls to vanilla in the past year I’m pretty sure the “clowns” are right on this one.

They aren’t necessarily evil, but damaged and sociopathic oh yes.
valkyra's Avatar
And what do the statistics say about the MEN who purchase sex, I wonder?
Top of the line alpha dogs who are simply too good for women, of course, I'm sure..

"We are so very blessed to serve at your feet. Thank you for taking care of us with your moonies otherwise surely we wouldn't know what to do with our poor, broken minded little selves!..."

Lol. Silly men

More providers that I've known in this line of work are actually in some way disabled. Sometimes that includes mental health, but it does also include physical limitations and sometimes disabilities that you CAN'T see.
Quite a few of my regulars know that I'm epileptic as well as autistic. My seizures are triggered by stress, which my autism has a hard time managing. For the most part my seizures are controlled by medication, but a large contributing factor to that is that
1. I don't work a 40-hour workweek/demanding job
2. I work in an environment where I can control all of the big decisions so I can decide what works best for me.
3. I am able to shuffle and arrange my schedule as needed so that I can work on my "good" days and take my "bad" days to devote to self-care, instead of hating myself for not working. This allows me to "stack" during good periods so I am better prepared for more difficult times.
I can work a taxable job, and I do from time to time when I am feeling up to it. But nothing works for me the way sex work does. I am truly in control of all aspects and can take care of myself first.

I love my job; I love meeting new people. I have always been a people pleaser. I am also a good communicator, because I prefer communication to be easy and honest I do very well in making new friends and making new lovers feel at ease. I have always been a very sexually in-tune being, with myself and with others. I am comfortable in my own skin, although I was not always, and I love teaching other people that their scarred imperfect bodies are wonderful and they can feel good, feel amazing even.

Some of you even know that I've been in a relationship for ~ a year. I don't want to go into details because my private life is my own. But we are happy. That is why this board... tickles me. You guys are truly blind, perhaps with rage, at the idea that one of us can be loved. Do you think it angers you because you think YOU deserve it more? Why is that?

NONE of what I just said makes me a BAD PERSON or USELESS.
It makes me a PERSON who is trying to do my very BEST with the SHITTY HAND I GOT DELT.

As I said before. ANYBODY is worthy of love.

The nerve of you to say that we are not people. You are barely a person yourself, the way you look down at us.

"Once a john, always a john. He thinks money can buy anything, so he doesn't bother trying to build up an actual relationship "
whore is a whore nothing more
Mr Dingleberry's Avatar
whore is a whore nothing more Originally Posted by todwheelbarrow
And we are just Johns that have to pay women to suck our dick.

You think most of us would be here if we can get Tinder thots to suck our dick like she does Chad and Tyrone? Nope.
JONBALLS's Avatar
If not a violent felon

That's one of the most attractive features

So work on that first
offshoredrilling's Avatar
And we are just Johns that have to pay women to suck our dick.

You think most of us would be here if we can get Tinder thots to suck our dick like she does Chad and Tyrone? Nope. Originally Posted by Mr Dingleberry
getting a whore to suck your dick can be safer than a slut. With a slut more likely to have the problem that this thread is about. Ya the other way around.
Northerndancer's Avatar
V

Hey I never said you were a bad person nor did I say they were disabled. I just said the odds are against having a successful healthy relationship with a provider. I’ve been in 2 and neither worked and honestly it wasn’t from taking someone for granted or not caring. In both cases the individuals share massive childhood traumas. One case involved a teenage pregnancy and the birth father’s parents holding her captive for a year because the father was over 21 and the son of the town police chief (ie statutory rape scandal). Then when she went into labor she’s transported 300 miles to the doorstep of a hospital in buffalo so her parents can take care of her. That’s real trauma and she had to defend and provide for her kid with whatever skills she had. Live that way for 10 years and lying/cheating become hard coded in the brain. It becomes reflexive for dealing with problems. To recode you need to admit there’s a problem and then deal with it. Most Narcissist lack the will, resources, and time to deal with it. They fundamentally don’t believe they need help and in fairness the skills they acquired are just natural adaptations to the situations they faced. Many of us who have tried being in a relationship with a provider have been left frustrated and crushed, but it wasn’t because didn’t try and do the right things by our partner.. Hence why I said not worth it. It’s a true no win scenario. But that doesn’t mean they are bad people. It’s just sad that life has been so tough for many of them.
valkyra's Avatar
Just because you can't have a successful relationship doesn't mean nobody else can. You're projecting.
Plastic Man's Avatar
LOL
As someone who owns: G17; G19; G48; MR762A;LWRCI ICA-5 (both 16.5” and 11.5”); benelli M4; beretta 1301; and one OSS silencer Originally Posted by Northerndancer
lol ats yer new ...york safe ...act fudd guns!
Mr Dingleberry's Avatar
V

Hey I never said you were a bad person nor did I say they were disabled. I just said the odds are against having a successful healthy relationship with a provider. I’ve been in 2 and neither worked and honestly it wasn’t from taking someone for granted or not caring. In both cases the individuals share massive childhood traumas. One case involved a teenage pregnancy and the birth father’s parents holding her captive for a year because the father was over 21 and the son of the town police chief (ie statutory rape scandal). Then when she went into labor she’s transported 300 miles to the doorstep of a hospital in buffalo so her parents can take care of her. That’s real trauma and she had to defend and provide for her kid with whatever skills she had. Live that way for 10 years and lying/cheating become hard coded in the brain. It becomes reflexive for dealing with problems. To recode you need to admit there’s a problem and then deal with it. Most Narcissist lack the will, resources, and time to deal with it. They fundamentally don’t believe they need help and in fairness the skills they acquired are just natural adaptations to the situations they faced. Many of us who have tried being in a relationship with a provider have been left frustrated and crushed, but it wasn’t because didn’t try and do the right things by our partner.. Hence why I said not worth it. It’s a true no win scenario. But that doesn’t mean they are bad people. It’s just sad that life has been so tough for many of them. Originally Posted by Northerndancer
So it wasn't she was a provider. She was a 'wreck' long before that.
Plastic Man's Avatar
whore is a whore nothing more Originally Posted by todwheelbarrow
jimmie jesus has truly blessed ...ya sir

...yer place ins the ...eternal halls a the heavenly ...cucks be ...secure
Northerndancer's Avatar
Plastic man

2nd house in the free state of pensyltucky. 1.1 second draw from appendix carry. Really sorry your mags are restricted to 9. Both silencer and sbr have tax stamps. When I carry in nys I have permit from my NYS county. Not sure why the ats would be interested. Just brought it up because lilyliveried implied the research was done and cited by 2nd amendment deniers which clearly I am not.
Northerndancer's Avatar
Valk

Are you sure you aren’t gaslighting? LOL. Seriously all I said was the odds are heavily against success and not because either party has ill intent. Just another of the world’s tragedies.