Engaged Hobbyist - His fiance found out!

This story disturbs me on many levels:

You need to interalize the fact that you are a "provider" and keep it like that at all times. You're cheating this system. You can't go back and forth.

Your hobby phone should NEVER see the light of day and especially around any other "civilians". The fact that you pulled out a second phone to verify a number is disturbing.

Along those same lines, WHAT and I ask that question again, WHAT propells you to, when asked by a stranger who are you dating, to mention it's this guy and describe him to a T? You knew what you were doing. You were claiming your territory. He may be single but he's still seeing a "provider" and unless you two are a known public item around town, you still owe him, based on the money he's paid you, to uphold a level of discretion and keep his fucking of you on the wraps. He just might be single but pursuing someone else on the side.

Also, how the hell do you OUT YOURSELF AS A PROVIDER? Are you that light headed? Are you serious? So now you've screwed yourself b/c now people know you as a "hooker".

Even in civilian on civilian dealings, how is one moved to tell a complete stranger of a guy who hasn't even formally made you his GF? Then you dish out all his information?
The only explination I can have for this is that you are marking your territory. When the story gets out there that you're dating mark, with the silver camero, who works for Johnson's Industrial Solutions, who graduated from Morehouse, the word will spread and if someone knows him then that's a good start towards making you two's relationship "public".

That's very irresponsible if you ask me. Whether he's single or not, you let HIM be the one to eventually introduce you to the world. What you're basically saying is "because you are a single male; your business can be put out there in the streets on who you're datinghollaring at/etc..

That's really not cool.

I pose this question to any and every provider. Let's say a client offers a certain service. Let's say he sells air conditioning units. If in your "civilian" world someone's asking you for a good AC unit salesman what do you do?

Do you whip out a separate phone (which can raise a question) proceed to give out the number and how do you want the referral process to go when she contacts him? "Diamond Luv gave me your number sir"

Wreckshop = winner

Hello all,

I recently had a very unfortunate situation which has only convinced me that providing is not worth the time, stress, or money when it involves irresponsible and hurtful hobbyists. I absolutely love the hobby, because, as a single woman, I love to enjoy the company of a man.

This hobby has introduced me to married men, most of whom, are honest about their martial situation and have made a personal vow to keep our dates very discreet and secret. Of course, one or two hours of my time will never compensate 10, 20, 30 years that they have shared with their wives - so we have to make the best of it, we live in a fantasy for only an hour.

But for the first time ever, I had the experience becoming infatuated with a presumed (Single) man who, in reality, was to be engaged to his finance (who is now a very good friend of mine).

I will not illustrate how I met my hobbyist's fiance, but my heart sank when she showed me the number of the "so-called" practically married man. That number matched the number in my hobby phone. The finance had no clue that he was seeing a "provider" let alone a normal woman. I was so happy about a single man that I had been seeing on a regular basis, I could not help to tell this woman what his name and occupation was. I came to the finance, and the finance was never "looking for me" - It just happened.

The hobbyist and his finance are no longer together, but because of one person's lies, irresponsibility, and lack of respect, a marriage is ruined, a heart is broken, and I am eternally embarrassed and shameful. While this hobbyist was with his finance, he told her that he was faithful. While he was with me, he told me he was single! I would've had more respect for him if he told me the truth on his end!

HOBBYISTS, IF YOU HAVE A HAPPY HOME, PLEASE DONT RUIN IT OVER BS!
Remember, a dog never shits where it eats!

Providers, did your hobbyist's wife, finance, of GF ever find out about you? And how did you go about this?

Married hobbyists, are you always truthful to your providers? How do you go about hobbying if you are married!

Please, keep this thread to meaningful and thought provoking discussion! Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

The moment you us the word infatuated everything went to shit! "WE" all expect and demand our privacy. If you meet some one in the hobby, you don't share that with anyone! Like in Las Vegas, It never happened.

Where does it say anyone needs to reveal anything? This poor guy gets outed because he didn't want to share what’s going on in his life? So let me get this straight, your MAD because he wasn't honest with you? So you posted this thread, WHY? You know, perhaps you might want to consider a "WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING" post! Perhaps other providers might learn from this. Perhaps other hobbyist will reevaluate how they hobby.

If this story really did happen which I have my doubt. I bet the details are a little bit different. DId this happen in Houston? Originally Posted by simpleton

Always nice to call someone a liar for no reason other than you don't agree with it.



I was going to comment more, but on second thought it's not worth the effort. Hanging juries are rarely disuaded by reason.

You crossed into the realm of humanity. By your words, you seem like a caring individual. It's nice to see that in a provider. Although you are a provider, you are still human. You liked the guy and he turned out to be a liar. It's the risk we all take when we risk feeling for another person regardless of circumstances. It's nothing to feel guilty about.

Sadly, many people in this exchange see it as weakness. Such foolishness! The details don't really matter. If you find someone you care about, go for it. You risk getting hurt but hey, that's life. I, for my part, have a lot of affection for a provider I have been seeing for two years. People can call it what they want, but I'll stick to being human any day over faking to be some tough unfeeling guy.

I'm very sorry you had to go through this. I know it sucks. Originally Posted by NegroDeSangue

I agree.

Alluring,

No, I don't think you outed him or yourself on purpose.

Some advice: if someone is on your hobby phone, they do not exist in conversations with civilian strangers. So, it could have happened like this...

Are you seeing someone?
Nope.

I know, hindsight is 20/20. Live and learn.

It is fucked, and I know. Me and my client had a steady arrangement so I didn't think nothing of it being that I was told by the client that he was a single man. But yet, his fiance had asked me the questions initially. I am a bad liar. lol. Originally Posted by AlluringExotic

Then you need to find another line of work. You and you alone are responsible for this disaster. Who gives a shit if he told you he was single. That is his story for for this fantasy and you should assume that anything and everything he says is private info to be shared with no one. You crossed the line and have ruined the lives of two people and want us to feel sorry for you. Fuck you. Oh, I guess it's OK because she cut your hair for free as a thank you. I am stunned that anyone would take your side and somehow justify your actions. You should be black listed by every hobbyist for this and an alert should be posted in every city you work in. You are a risk to every client you see.

You state that he was using his unemployment check to pay you - that means that no matter what else he was a CLIENT. Had he not been PAYING you the circumstances would have been different - get this message - clients pay what we pay for providers to STFU PERIOD

Providers take note - no matter what a CLIENT says you can NEVER reveal that you are "seeing" that client - NEVER, EVER, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!

Always nice to call someone a liar for no reason other than you don't agree with it.



I was going to comment more, but on second thought it's not worth the effort. Hanging juries are rarely disuaded by reason. Originally Posted by Old-T

I didn't call anyone a liar. I said I had my doubts about the story and the way she told it.

And your the voice of reason?

I just reread what Wreckshop said - perfect

Oh! Who the fuck ever said hobbyists need to be truthful?

The way I read it he claimed to be unattached, they started going out, she was talking about her date at the time, no longer her client.

If that's the case he is the slime for misrepresenting himself as available for a dating arrangement when all he was trying to do was get free sessions.

Of course I could be interpreting incorrectly. Originally Posted by Old-T

Your completely wrong here. He was still a customer and was paying the freight. She outed that dude! It makes no difference to me that the dude said he was single.

A prime example of why you should keep the hobby world & civie world separate. Never should the two meet.

Sex for money whether you are a provider or a hobbyist and dating don't mix. Period!

As a provider, I would never fall for a client. It's simply not an option. It's a business relationship.

I'll never understand providers who start to think they could date a hobbyist.

As a provider, if you're thinking you could date a hobb who PAYS YOU FOR SEX, something is wrong and you need to check your boundaries.

You are definitely looking for love in all the wrong places.

Please knee-grows-
The dame keeps using finance for fiance..tff

The fiance was keeping the fact she was
a hooker from her prospective hubby.
And she has the nerve to feign offense?
Talk about glass houses.

I tell all playmates I 'm married with no
likelihood or desire to divorce.
Oddly, one of my faves is more
miffed towards my ATF- it is strange
seeing that kind of jealousy.
My SO's hair color w/my ATF's hairstyle-- wtf?
Competitive? Obsessive? dunno....
I gave up trying to figure women out long ago.