I am sorry Naomi and Naughty, there is a reality out there that neither of you seems to understand. Again, if there are no small children around I would tend to agree with you--but far too often there are. When you live in a smaller town, when public transportation is limited or non-existant, when child care is assumed to be done by kin but your kin have shunned you for "shaming the family", the reality you (and I) live in seems little more than a fairy tale.
Originally Posted by Old-T
I grew up in a single parent home (dad is a recovering crack addict, so he was NEVER around, and when he was it was HELL) in a small town in the South where the economy has, IMHO, always been crappy. She had to take care of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls). My mom worked full time as a secretary at a college. Since my dad was officially gone from our lives, we qualified for public assistance. The idea really bothered her, but wth was she to do with 5 step ladder aged children when she couldn't feed them. She decided to take advantage of the help and even signed up to go back to college. She had 5 kids at home, so furthering her education was a long and tedious road. When she got her Bachelor's degree, she got a small promotion and a $1 raise. She reported her new income and was informed that it put us some odd amount of change over the maximum income for public assistance qualifications. She made NOTHING CLOSE to what she needed to take care of us, AND she was still in school. But, because her job gave her a little extra (to THEM, at least) change, we were dropped. She kept working her ass off, kept going to school, and finally got her Master's degree at 39. BETTER JOB, BETTER LIFE. THIS is a first hand example of a woman who worked hard, stayed focused (through all the strife), and took advantage of the system in the RIGHT way. She didn't lie, cheat, or steal from taxpayers.
In my case, I AM a single mother. Because child support hasn't started (don't we just LOVE our gov't
), I get absolutely ZERO support from the EX. Do I run down to the foodstamp office or the housing office with a sob story of how I'm a single mother with not one, but TWO small children who I get no support for? No. I don't. Why not? Because in my opinion, there is no way I should be in this line of work needing public assistance. Am I an honest person? Yes. Am I hard working? Yes. Do I have family to help with childcare? No. I don't have family help with childcare because I don't live near family. Even if I did live near family, I never ASSUME that they would help me with childcare. Yes, it would be GREAT if they did, but at the end of the day, my children are just that, MINE. I made the choice to have them, and I can't EVER assume that anyone but myself will make sure they are taken care of and provided for. BUT, I do have common sense, I know that there are reliable resources that have nothing to do with family as far as childcare is concerned. Do I live in a "busted rust belt city" where the best job is a Wal-Mart cashier and you have to "know someone" to even be considered for hire? YES, lol. My advertising and profile may not reflect so, but I do. BUT, because I have found the needed resources, I am afforded the luxury of being able to be where I need to be when I need to be there. Public transportation? Non-existent. But, if you can get a ride to the foodstamp/housing office to apply for assistance, I'm sure you can get a ride to other places as well. Are the reasons you listed all pretty valid excuses for a single mother/provider to seek assistance? Yes, they are. But, you have to recognize them just for what they are, EXCUSES. I have all the makings for the PERFECT setup to cheat the system. This interests me in no shape, form, or fashion. Maybe if I was in a different line of work I'd feel different. I am a provider who has set a a standard, works hard, and applies myself. I don't wait for people to do something for me. Seriously, I get up off my ass and get it done myself. I came into the hobby alone a very short time ago. Because I have applied myself (reaching out to various experienced, reputable providers and hobbyists and actually taking their advice and direction to heart), I have gotten pretty far and made some very good connections. Am I high volume? No. Would I like to make more money? Who doesn't? But, these are not excuses either because a smart and responsible person lives on a planned budget, even the rich. Do I splurge every now and then? Damn right, because I have the RIGHT to. I work hard, I live/spend sensibly within my means, and BOTH of my kids have money put away. But, a responsible provider can buy herself something special every now and then because all her other ducks are in order.
All of that to say that coming from BOTH sides of this track (experiencing a TRUE need for public assistance as a child and being a single mother provider with NO support) I agree wholeheartedly with:
I just don't see anything wrong with the average person using government assistance.
It's just the lady that escort that I see it being a big problem with. I mean we make A LOT of money.
We may not be rich but it's still a lot of money. I don't think there is any excuse for it if you ask me.
Originally Posted by Naomi4u
If you work hard and put good energy into the atmosphere, kismet will turn that good karma back on you. If all you do is sit around making excuses for why you're living the way you are and waiting for a handout, then you'll forever remain stuck in the rut you dwell in. The situation I grew up in along with the demise of a relationship leaving me with two children to fend for on my own are the perfect circumstances to make someone a "statistic". But, your life is YOURS and can only be what YOU make of it. I guess my values and determination are too strong for me feel comfortable cruising through life on excuses.