Dating a HDH

Once in a while? Originally Posted by Chica Chaser

Come on Chica London and I havn't had a knock down drag out in a long time. We just spar on occasion

. . .
I do like her... we get along great... the sex is amazing... and she has never asked for a dime... Originally Posted by rist079

Sounds like a potentially good match, to me!

They both enjoy the same hobby, for their own reasons. He obviously, has no problem with her involvement... especially, considering his own.

I can't see where "she" has the character flaw... he's hiding two secrets... she's only hiding one!

Given their current situation... it would seem a bit hypocritical to me, if her discovery were to ruin things between them! With an open mindset (which many obviously, do not have), complete honesty, and lack of any kind of petty jealousy... there's no reason why they can't continue to enjoy an open relationship... even if she were to find out his two secrets!

Good Luck, Buddy!

Come on Chica London and I havn't had a knock down drag out in a long time. We just spar on occasion Originally Posted by burkalini

They are both lying...end of story. Then again, I would never date someone I met this way, so it would not matter. He would be gone to the next hooker dumb enough to buy that he "really loves her" lol. For the non-hobbyist, this would be a huge blow..for this dude who obviously plays the same game, maybe not.


Put those gloves away Chica, or let me borrow them. I would love to knock the piss out of someone.

They are both lying...end of story. Then again, I would never date someone I met this way, so it would not matter. He would be gone to the next hooker dumb enough to buy that he "really loves her" lol. For the non-hobbyist, this would be a huge blow..for this dude who obviously plays the same game, maybe not.


Put those gloves away Chica, or let me borrow them. I would love to knock the piss out of someone. Originally Posted by London Rayne

London, I am puzzled by the comment you made about both of us lying. We have seen each other five times. And, we met in the real world... at a party we were both attending.

She has asked me if I am continuing to see other people. My answer was yes... And, she asked me at one point if I had ever paid for sex, and my answer was yes. She asked me why... and we talked about it. At the time, it never crossed my mind to ask her the reverse question.

But, every question I have directly asked her, she seemingly has answered truthfully.

My original question was to explore how I should handle the fact that I truly, accidentally found out something about her that she had not yet shared with me.

I am struggling to see how any of this is dishonest. My guess is that most people don't share everything in their lives in the first five dates.

I wouldn't say lying per say I would more call it omission. You don't have to lie to be untruthful.

Ok but until you both come clean about this, how can you possibly move on? If you don't want to move on that's one thing, but I don't believe in starting something when both are not being honest with each other. If you are "dating" and plan for it to evolve into something where you both only see each other, then it's going to have to come out. You said you "paid"
for sex in the past, but you didn't say "Yea I am on Eccie with 5 reviews" lol.

I can't really tell you what to do in your situation, but no way I would even try to date a guy knowing I am banging random strangers for pay. That's just me. You do what works best for you, but I would tell her and then come clean about my own stuff. You are not me though. I would never lead a guy to think I am some secretary whilst being a freaking hooker. On the flip side, I would also not appreciate a guy leading me to believe he was not an active hobbyist. I would never date one, so it would sure as hell matter to me.

London, I am puzzled by the comment you made about both of us lying. We have seen each other five times. And, we met in the real world... at a party we were both attending.

She has asked me if I am continuing to see other people. My answer was yes... And, she asked me at one point if I had ever paid for sex, and my answer was yes. She asked me why... and we talked about it. At the time, it never crossed my mind to ask her the reverse question.

But, every question I have directly asked her, she seemingly has answered truthfully.

My original question was to explore how I should handle the fact that I truly, accidentally found out something about her that she had not yet shared with me.

I am struggling to see how any of this is dishonest. My guess is that most people don't share everything in their lives in the first five dates. Originally Posted by rist079

that's kind of a challenging question if a chick asked me that

"have you paid for sex before?"

I remember a personal female friend of mine asked me that. At that point of my life I dabbled into hobbying but honestly never picked up a street hooker and fucked. So I told her "no".

I'm at a point where my only sexual encounters are paid for. If someone were to ask me that today I'd feel very awkward and uncomfortable saying "no"

but I will have to say "no". any other answer and I'm ruined.

Sometimes I feel I fucked off my innosence so bad as far as co-mingling with the rest of the "non-hobby" world that I don't deserve a regular civilian chick. I deserve a reformed provider or a slut.

I don't even judge females anymore. shit is a shame I used to at one point in my life quiver in a frenzy of discomfort at the thought of a woman I'm loving and dating and potenitally marrying having another man's cock in her mouth in a past life

Now I'm eagerly awaiting a woman to listerine out her mouth from a previous day's cock bath in order to make love with me.

that's kind of a challenging question if a chick asked me that

"have you paid for sex before?" Originally Posted by coefficient

In the context in which the question was asked... it wasn't really a challenging question. I was talking with her about what it has been like to raise kids as a truly single parent for the last 9 years... and she asked how I avoided dying of sexual frustration... which led to a broader discussion, including the topic of paying for sex. She (for reasons that are more apparent now) was very accepting of what I told her.

I do think I am going to talk with her this weekend about all of this. London is right... that until we both come clean... it will be hard to see if this can go anywhere.

In the context in which the question was asked... it wasn't really a challenging question. I was talking with her about what it has been like to raise kids as a truly single parent for the last 9 years... and she asked how I avoided dying of sexual frustration... which led to a broader discussion, including the topic of paying for sex. She (for reasons that are more apparent now) was very accepting of what I told her.

I do think I am going to talk with her this weekend about all of this. London is right... that until we both come clean... it will be hard to see if this can go anywhere. Originally Posted by rist079

I had an ATF that turned into a good friend.She would always ask for advice when she started dating a guy.Should i tell him what i do etc etc. I mean what to you tell the guy? if it gets to serious i think he would be devastated to say the least.I know others that have bf's that know and they are ok with it.Its a very interesting situation i would just ride it out and have fun knowing that there is no trust and it will not be a long term deal