Full Disclosure

Male "need" for sex is why we as a species became successful. . Originally Posted by woodyboyd

Every species had a need for sex, we became successful because of breast augmentation.

Our women got prettier titties than other species!

Is it possible to truly love someone while withholding information about yourself?

Recently, I've been going back and forth in my head with this issue. My escort days are fast approaching an end and I'm proud of where I've been. Being who I am has put me through school, financed my future and cultivated a worldly and self-aware young woman.

When I meet the man of my dreams, I can't imagine not telling him just how I became the dynamic person he's in love with. Other providers, how open are you? How open are you willing to be? What's attributing to your secrecy, or lack thereof? Do you ever regret it?

Single hobbyists, when/if you date again, will you tell her about your past? Those who are married, do you ever feel guilt?

And to everyone: Can you fully love while holding back? Originally Posted by jamais vu

You are in a bit of a conundrum. I can tell you one thing... ok, a couple of things. From a mans perspective. If you are back in the civvie world and just dating, no one needs to know anything, guys will want to know the basics, your romance will evolve, things will be disclosed. However... if you find yourself in a serious relationship.. , the dude has a right to know who he is falling in love with. It HAS to be an informed decision on his part to stay with you. Imagine the destruction it will do if he were to ever find out years from now.. you have a family... you have kids.. and he discovers your past. That will not be fun for him. If you do not disclose your decision to be a provider then he was initially deceived by you. That is not cool. It is not the same thing as being a civvie and disclosing how many guys you banged in the past, most guys dont care about that... but being a provider, and doing mongers for dough is a very different thing. Yes, you may lose him, but ultimately you will find a man that will beable to accept your past decisions. I think you already know this, and what you will need to do to keep it real.

I haven't read most of this thread, but at the end of the day I feel that honesty is the most important thing. I don't judge people based on number of sex partners or participation in the sex industry. I would never cleave to a man that does. Open mindedness and acceptance of alternative choices is so fundamental to me that I could never love a man who can't accept that I have done this. Now dating a guy while I am escorting? Whole nother set of rules

For all the above reasons is why some things are best unsaid! Don't tell just use the experiences to better one self!

Other providers, how open are you? How open are you willing to be? What's attributing to your secrecy, or lack thereof? Do you ever regret it?

I don't currently date but I have in the past. I judge no one but myself, but I would never ever ever EVER keep something so important (and potentially a health issue) from someone. They absolutely have the right to know imo. Aside from that, a relationship built on lies isn't much of a relationship anyway.

I kept it from a friend once, in turn they found out had a bad reaction and tried to "take me for everything I had". They may have gotten almost 10 grand, but I'm alive and a hell of a lot smarter for it. Never again will I be close in any fashion with a person who does not know what I do.

I got dumped over voicemail yesterday for the job. But I also had lunch with a guy that doesn't care, understands it's a job, and can't wait to see me again (I've known this guy for a while).

I'd rather spend time with the guy that likes me and can see around the job.

BUT BUT BUT..... you women enjoy it more than the men do! I've read all the reviews about every guy giving his providers MULTIPLE O's. don't try to kid us!!!!

I am not saying one is better than the other, but ask any guy or girl who's dated in the hobby and you will see what I mean. A woman only doing it for the money who does not really enjoy it, is not pulled back to it when she is in love. It was only a job to her from jump.

Now, I am not talking about greed here that keeps women doing this no matter what, but a woman strictly doing it when she is single for the extra perks who would walk in a heartbeat if she found the one.

She has NO desire to turn tricks. OTOH, some guys who cheat will still cheat on any and every woman they are with regardless, because it was "true desire" that led him to do it in the first place...not desperation so to speak.


If a woman can walk away from this and never turn back when she is in love and a guy can't walk away from the desire to stray no matter what, which one is the more powerful force?e Money or Lust?

If I had to choose which one of these would be easier to let go of, it would be the hooker, because I know for most it's just a job and a temporary one at that. If I met a guy who was cheating on his wife with me, it would be very hard to ever believe he could be faithful to me or anyone else. Just sayin. Originally Posted by London Rayne

The more I re-read my inital post and the responses to this thread, I realize that the answer to this question is not "one-size-fits-all." I totally share your sentiments when it comes to that, WTF.

However, I fail to see how a provider using the hobby as a stepping stone to her future goals is the same as a hobbyist using it to fulfill his insatiable sexual desires.

Sure the hobby can be viewed as "self-gratifying" on both ends: She is using it as a way to make a quick buck; he is using it to get a quick nut, LOL.

The main difference is that the provider knew from jump street that her time in P4P was only temporary. The hobbyist's situation is much more complex because it's sexual. A financial goal is achievable and measureable... I'm not sure the same could be said about sex for sale. Originally Posted by jamais vu

gotta love this thread, the argument that guys are just wantign a quick nut, and gals are just tryin to get by is just plain weak. some gals are here because they're just plain greedy. its 110k job without taxes! and yes, some are just tryin to feed their kids and get through school. ya, some guys are lookin for the kinky stuff their wife won't do. but some... are lookin for the feeling of love that their wife WON'T give, or maybe he's single and in between places that won't allow him to pursue love.

from they guys standpoint, if i'm lookin for the finer things in life, HELL YA give me a working girl who don't want to give up the money. I don't want her to retire!!! But if I'm lookin for love.... could i see the x provider who was just doing it to "get by" vs "get ahead", maybe.. if she's not only "willing", but "wanting" to walk away from this lifestyle. The past is the past, but for me, "love" is a total giving, and exclusive, on mind, body, and soul. anything less would just be an "arrangement"

I don't believe the male genetic makeup, as provider and protector, would allow any man who's "truly" in love with a woman to accept her "present" occupation as provider. Any man who does, simply loves the money or the sex, not the woman. He's just a pimp.

now could i "overlook/accept" a woman's past occupational choices.... if i truly loved her, then yes.

I don't believe the male genetic makeup, as provider and protector, would allow any man who's "truly" in love with a woman to accept her "present" occupation as provider. Any man who does, simply loves the money or the sex, not the woman. He's just a pimp. Originally Posted by rharley

A pimp? WTF are you smokin? You've been in this hobby for how long? Cause you know SOOOO much about this hobby.

There's plenty of ladies in this business who have SO's and they are NOT their pimps. There are plenty of guys out there who love the lady for herself and would accept this as her JOB.

Starting this thread was eerily prophetic. When I posted this early last month, I had no idea what a predicament I would be in THIS month...

I found someone. Someone incredible...Someone loving, gentle, authentic and most importantly, nerdy. Oh! And he likes me too! *giggle*

At the end of our first date; he mentioned how nice my apartment was and asked me what I did for a living. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of this thread and all of the well-intentioned advice. Puzzled by my hesitance to answer he slowly asked, "Are you a stripper?"

I could have lied and said yes. After all, strippers are the most socially tolerable sex workers, right?

But I didn't. I chose the truth instead..and as soon as I did, I felt good. In that moment, I didn't give two squirrel farts if he rejected me or not. I was proud of ME. I was proud of JAMAIS VU the escort and the real me whom JV has influenced and developed. Fuck him if he didn't like me too.

But he did. Well, does. Its early...for all I know, I may come back in February with an entirely differently perspective. But for now based on this beautiful, albeit, singular experience, I choose truth. I recommend it too.

JV

But he did. Well, does. Its early...for all I know, I may come back in February with an entirely differently perspective. But for now based on this beautiful, albeit, singular experience, I choose truth. I recommend it too.

JV Originally Posted by jamais vu

That is the funny thing. You just never know. Wouldn't be any fun if ya did, I suppose.

What is a great idea in the afterglow can be totally abominable while giving birth!

Amen sister!! It's hard I think but it's best to tell the truth!! Unless it's the PTA meeting! :-) other than those circumstances Rock on!! Xoxo best of luck with him... Kristal

Amen sister!! It's hard I think but it's best to tell the truth!! Unless it's the PTA meeting! :-) other than those circumstances Rock on!! Xoxo best of luck with him... Kristal Originally Posted by kristalrox

That is pure gold right there!