Dating a provider, female advice needed

So your wife IS a high-priced, fulltime provider. Originally Posted by JDNorthface

If she is the girl that I think she is, she may be part-time, but she is worth the high price.

So your wife IS a high-priced, fulltime provider. Originally Posted by JDNorthface

My wife may be involved in weekly activities that I would prefer that she did not. However, it is something that I have to deal with to keep her.

She was a fulltime provider when I met her. However, I did not get to know her for that reason. I met her socially, and we really hit it off. We became very close. She told me that she was a provider after we started an affair. At some point she realized that I was very much in love with her at which time she insisted that I get a divorce and marry her or the relationship would end.

She can be difficult at times since she does not feel that she needs to be GFE at home. However, she is integral to my life, so I deal with things.

Jman2010,

Just how was it that you find out that she was doing RE clients to get business? Sounds like using sex is a business tool for her that she will continue to use as required whenever the need arises. If you can't deal with that, best you move on.

When you say she is providing to RE Clients, does that mean she is giving them pussy for business, or still Hooking?

My wife may be involved in weekly activities that I would prefer that she did not. However, it is something that I have to deal with to keep her.

......

She can be difficult at times since she does not feel that she needs to be GFE at home. However, she is integral to my life, so I deal with things. Originally Posted by Nick11796

guess the grass isn't always greener after all. am I the only one to find this shit f*cking depressing?

The thing is....it's too depressing....that is the problem.

There it is! Read it several times if you have to, but let it soak in. The bottom line is that if you both agree that the extracurricular activities should stop but they don't, then she's not someone you should waste your time with. If she agrees to stop and in fact does, then let the past stay there and enjoy a quality relationship. All this talk about accepting this and overlooking that is just rationalizing poor behavior, and is psychobabble bullshit from watching too much daytime TV. In this case, Mojo is wise beyond his years. Originally Posted by Energy

I couldn't said it any better then Energy did...
Good luck!

If she has to sleep with clientelle to close business then she is a shitty sales person and should probably find a different career she is good at.

On the other hand, I'm guessing she's sleeping with them because she wants to get her freak on.

I usually stay away from shit like this because I'm hear to be a pervert and not a drug store psychologist. But God dammit man, here we go again with you bastards getting to damn attached with providers. I mean what the hell is wrong with you, seriously. I'm a sick pervert but a hobbiest getting emotional attached to a provider (retired, adjunct, or active) is (bleeped) up. But let me stay off a full fledge rant and keep it simple.

1. Those of you who claim your "cool" with it, let's see what your opinion will be after you see the scene and the mess of my face pounding session with your "love of your life"

2. I'm in the market for a house and I'm looking to switch vendors for my pharmacy business. I also need a new lawyer, doctor, and teacher for my future kids. Anyone have any referrals.

In conclusion, if you mix hobbying with personal life, you...are...a....bleeping....I DIOT. I hope I don't get any points but I will be responsible for my words and accept points without protest. But someone has to say it.

Lines get crossed especially for those without an SO and sometimes for those with them.

To the OP your on a SHMB asking for relationship advice? Can we assume that if you are on here you are hobbying? If that's true can you hold it against your new found friend for her providing?

If she has to sleep with clientelle to close business then she is a shitty sales person and should probably find a different career she is good at.

On the other hand, I'm guessing she's sleeping with them because she wants to get her freak on. Originally Posted by ObyDATY

A lady may be good at her sales function but still use sex to give herself a huge advantage since she may well be competing against other people who are good sales people as well. I knew a very good looking blonde lady who was involved in commercial real estate. She was good at what she did. However, she did have sex with customers to lock up hefty commissions on very competitive deals. I knew her pretty well and am sure that she had no other motivation other than the commission.

On a lesser scale, many of us know women who have sex with bosses to get raises or promtions they might otherwise not deserve.

I am familiar with successful companies that provide escorts to would be cusomers/clients and to professionals dealing with those would be customers. That is no different than a female saleslady providing sex to increase her chances of getting business.

One can debate the ethics, but many will look at it as practical.

So she said she'd quit for a "real relationship"... So what you guys have isn't a real relationship? And you said you don't have a problem with her formerly being a provider, so why would you have a problem with her providing on the side to support her business? You need to decide A)if you want a serious relationship with her B)if you can handle having a serious relationship with a provider. Once you figure out the answers to those 2 questions, it'll be alot easier for you...

jman2010 my question is can you love a provider and be okay with what she does or has done in the past ? It sounds like you have some doubts of your own as to your true feelings for her Originally Posted by carkido45

wut he said...

So she said she'd quit for a "real relationship"... So what you guys have isn't a real relationship? And you said you don't have a problem with her formerly being a provider, so why would you have a problem with her providing on the side to support her business? You need to decide A)if you want a serious relationship with her B)if you can handle having a serious relationship with a provider. Once you figure out the answers to those 2 questions, it'll be alot easier for you... Originally Posted by Jaida_So_Lovely

I think that each provider/former provider is different. I am not including girls on drugs as any part of my discussion.

I know one girl who had been successful as a provider but walked away from the profession completely and totally when she met her guy. Other girls are not as secure. Much of their self esteem, rightly or wrongly, comes from their looks and men willing to pay for it. These girls have more trouble totally extricating themselves. Then there are girls who have never met the right type of guys and have come not to trust or have faith in any guy. They also will have troubles breaking away to a new life. Finally, if a lady is desperate, desperate people do desperate things.

In the end, a man has to recognize all the qualities and sensibilities of the lady and make a determination as to whether things have any realistic chance of working out. He has to consider how much he will have to work with the girl to help her to the next stage in her life. He also has to assess whether she will be a true life companion and whether he can afford the new lifestyle for both of them.