First of all, the OP has conveniently removed herself from my to-do list. Reminds me too much of another overweight brunette provider in Dallas that periodically goes on non-sensical rants.
Second, big shout out to chew toy for his hilarious translation.
Lastly, to all the providers reading this.....do not post stuff like this if you want to stay in business. I'm single, w/o a S/O and I don't want drama. I'm certain the married hobbyists on here want even less drama.