I'm a simple man. I'm not a voyeur. I'm very plain, vanilla and boring. Call me quaint, call me old-fashioned, call me anachronistic, call me Ishmael, but I'd be more than satisfied with one gal riding cowgirl and another one sitting on my face. Every once in a while they could switch places. That's as fancy as I get.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks when he thinks the old tricks are just so gosh-darned awesome.