Thanks Kitty really love your words to live by.. I wrote them down and now have them on my mirror...you seem as beautiful inside as you are outside
and Kaylee , I love you and thank you for always being my friend from the beginning....
You know me as a real person and not just as a provider and can vouch for the reality of my situation and who I am as a person, not a CRAZY one ...
maybe someday when I can let go of all this anger and animosity and have a fresh start....
and be the provider I used to be, I will be back...
I'm very, very angry about the things I've had to endure the last 3 years, in my business and outside of it
I would love to see the days again where I am working again ...and happy to be a provider,
but if not then its just not worth hurting myself or anyone else over..
I look forward to sharing about the new and better stuff I can make happen...
I really hope everyone at the board can understand where I'm coming from,
and my story is just as important to think about for you all ,
and as important for me to share
as it was at its moment of its success, as it is ....
at its downfall...
You guys used to always listen to me at my best days and biggest successes
You all cheered me on when I went for being one of the TOP 3 providers
Why do you not think its important to be kind and supportive when a legendary provider is having second thoughts or feelings about her profession....
Its like I only mattered when I was doing well, and now that Im not, you discard me even as a fellow human being
How could you not care that my heart is breaking because of things I did?
How can you dogpile me when I am already admitting my wrongs and apologizing and trying to find the support I need....
Its people like addict, although entitled to their own opinion that cheapen the human-ness of our existence as providers
But that's the difference these days, so many insensitive, sense of entitlement type of guys that have forgotten to respect us and keep things simple,
That's why great providers with longstanding reputable histories like myself can turn into
regretful, spite filled, negative and as equally mean people....
Just the public ridicule of my weakest moments was enough to engage the beginning of the end for me
I hope I have helped some of you see my situation a little more clearly and it has nothing to do with "crazy"
Its reality..
and to tell you the truth I was really hurt to see Jules Jaguar here speaking against me and adding to the comments, she truly was someone I admired and can say I was always friendly with on our personal my space/facebook...I was surprised ..
my sentiments exactly...what did I ever do to you ?
well it doesn't matter really...
none of this does, gotta go,
Thanks for listening
I love you