Ladies Who Require a Hobbyist's Real Life Information

And Gina, I apologize.

No apology needed.... I always appreciate an opportunity to clarify how the P411 system works to those who aren't as familiar with it.

Always,
Gina

www.preferred411.com

The arguments for both sides are valid. The problem is this...

Hobbiest John knows that he is honest, trustworthy, and safe. He knows that he is not LE, violent, a scammer, or a criminal (sex offender or otherwise). He knows the provider is risking nothing by seeing him. So why should he assume all the risk by giving out personal information.

Provider Jane knows that she is honest, trustworthy, and safe. She knows that she is not LE, violent, a scammer, or a criminal. She knows the hobbiest is risking nothing by seeing her. So why should she assume all the risk by seeing someone who is unwilling to give out their personal information.

It's a catch 22: by the time you feel confortable enough with someone to share personal information, it's no longer needed. It's an imperfect world. There is no easy, one-size-fits-all answer.

Everyone must act in accordance with their own safety needs. Originally Posted by littlejoe

That's right! The good news (at least for those of us in larger markets) is there is enough supply & demand that all of us can choose what makes us comfortable.

After security and LE is said and done, do y'all worry about seeing somebody from your real world? Originally Posted by Ansley

I believe it would probably be pretty shocking for us, both! But no.... why should I worry, when we're both in the same quandary? I would think we should both be able to laugh it off, and enjoy the surprise. Actually.... it might lead to an eXXXtremely erotic affair!!

Giz Originally Posted by MrGiz

I dodged a bullet once...found out when she gave me her incall location it was in my building...just a little too close for comfort...I called back and cancelled citing some B.S. about a "work emergency" or something.

I guess if it happened, depending on the circumstances, who knows...but it is a situation I'd prefer to avoid.

do y'all worry about seeing somebody from your real world? Originally Posted by Ansley

Happened earlier this year. Through one of the sugar baby sites. The woman was a polar opposite politically of me. I had note of it in my profile. After I messaged her she said she wouldn't go near someone with my PoV. Ahhh a challenge.

So a bunch of emails back and forth and we agree to meet.

BTW, this was definitely pay4play not if and or buts. Cash for an hour. So yes, a SD/SB relationship but at the end a provider and a hobbyist.

So our meeting ends up being close by. She comes in and we start to talk. She asks what I do. I tell her. She says, oh, I do that too. What company do you work for? I say it. And she says, oh I work for them, too.

!!!!!

I recognize her name even though we've never met as she did mine. We laughed over it. But we were consenting adults each knew what aspect of our tryst involved.

The bad part was she did kiss and there was zero intimacy. And no it wasn't because we worked for the same company. We even talked about it for a bit. She wasn't getting taken care of at home (either sexual or mentally), and her BF supposedly had money. Haven't seen her again either at the notel nor work.

But we both got a laugh out of it.

After security and LE is said and done, do y'all worry about seeing somebody from your real world? Originally Posted by Ansley

There was a thread about this a while back with a lot of interesting stories. I searched briefly, but couldn't find it.

..........The very best protection a lady can have, and I think we're all concerned with that, is references from known providers. Even that isn't 100% but it's the best you're going to get. Originally Posted by John Bull

Exactly John. Exactly. I am much more comfortable with two good references than personal information screening. When I get a reference’s name from someone, I Google the lady’s name and get her contact info that way. If she’s not someone that I know of or if she doesn’t have a reasonable amount of presence, then I don’t use her as a reference.

The reference thing can work two ways though. One time, I got a reference from someone of a lady that had no reviews; she never posted anywhere; I’d never heard of her; and on her web site, she had clothes on up to her neck and down to her knees and no hint of her face. I didn’t go any farther. I just assumed everyone involved worked for the City of Houston.

Along comes JoeSchmoe, registered yesterday, no references. Ok, what do I do? I can ask him to sign up for P411, have them check him out and wait.... ok but he still wouldn't have any ok's.... what can I do to feel safe to see him? (not me personally, but for newer providers who may not know how to handle this because hobbyists are advising him to disclose nothing). Originally Posted by TxBrandy

I believe all good providers are angels of mercy even moreso than nurses sometimes and, even though some of the sisterhood may not believe it from this thread, I believe you should be protected as much as humanly possible. I just want you guys to recognize that taking the so-called RL info won't do it for you. If you want more info on that, PM me because I don't want to inadvertently educate a potential problem for you.

That being said, the newbie is your most dangerous date. No question about it. Brandy I wish I had a technique for that. One that was foolproof and would keep all of you as safe as you could be. But I don't! So, whatever you choose to do to protect yourselves from those most dangerous types, I support you FWIW.

So, whatever you choose to do to protect yourselves from those most dangerous types, I support you FWIW. Originally Posted by John Bull

Word!

Thank you John, thank you for addressing my question and giving a forthright answer... even though the answer is that there is no answer. There is no magical wand, no magical pill, no magical information that will guarantee safety. Feeling secure is different from being secure. No one can be 100% safe in any occupation and at any time. Even never leaving your house isn't 100% secure as there are still multiple outside influences. In order to do this line of work there is a level of security a provider must feel in order to go about her business, whether it's getting multiple references or asking for personal information. If that helps you to feel better in control of your surroundings then that is needed in order to be comfortable in your excursions. Thank you for the topic and well thought out posts. Peace BD

Avery's explanation pretty much sums it up for me:

...I think a healthy sense of caution around one's personal information is necessary and healthy. I understand completely why someone may not want to give their legal name and workplace, even though that's the requirement for meeting me. The only time I get irritated is when I'm approached by someone who ignores my screening process in spite of how much I emphasis it. (That's just rude and a waste of both of our time.) I've have a few bad experiences—nothing catastrophic, but stressful and scary—that led me to be absolutely firm about this, even when someone has a good reference from a provider I know and trust. I have my reasons, and, as Gryphon illustrates, there are many clients who can understand and respect that. Those are the men I want to see.

As for the idea that the provider is risking "little or nothing," that's willfully stupid. Plenty of providers may use a fake first name with their clients, but they work out of their homes or a rental in their legal name, use their credit card to advertise, have a website registered in their name, etc. (No one should revel in a false sense of security—maybe you didn't give your provider/client your real name, but did you drive your car with the plates registered in your name to their location?) And no one should be foolish enough to think that LE targets providers and clients in equal numbers. (The providers are always at a higher risk.) Furthermore, plenty of providers have families, including a spouse and children, just like you. There's no use getting into a battle over who is risking more, but I'm shocked at the idea that some clients would believe their companion has taken no personal risk in order to serve them.

I always think of it as cooperation, a joint exercise in trust, when I see a client. We've each risked something to meet the other. It's good to appreciate and honor that. Originally Posted by AveryMoore

Be kind to one another.

Providers are free to request as much screening information as they like in order to feel comfortable. However, if I'm meeting you for the first time, I will only provide P411 info and/or companion references. In some cases I'll even give up my real name. If she still insists on getting my work information, then I pass and move on to the next lady.

I see few providers and repeat. Adding someone new is a rarity. If I DO add someone new, I have previously ascertained via various means that she is extremely trustworthy.

She's gonna see me naked for goodness sake. If I'm not comfortable with her knowing my name, perhaps I should be leaving my pants on.

But that's just me.

I see few providers and repeat. Adding someone new is a rarity. If I DO add someone new, I have previously ascertained via various means that she is extremely trustworthy.

She's gonna see me naked for goodness sake. If I'm not comfortable with her knowing my name, perhaps I should be leaving my pants on.

But that's just me. Originally Posted by Laurentius

There's something about meeting a stranger for the first time and going from "nice to meet you" to "let's fuck" in 5 minutes or less that is exhilarating.

But that's just me.

There's something about meeting a stranger for the first time and going from "nice to meet you" to "let's fuck" in 5 minutes or less that is exhilarating.

But that's just me. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

How do you go from exhilarating to a 20% satisfaction rate?

How do you go from exhilarating to a 20% satisfaction rate? Originally Posted by atlcomedy

It's what happens in the next 55 minutes, of course.

... perhaps I should be leaving my pants on. Originally Posted by Laurentius

I didn't know that you HAD to take off your pants.