I think she just chose the wrong video in her example, and did not research the difference in BDSM and humiliation/roleplay. She stated earlier in post, she just likes to be told what to do, not the abusive part.
To really be into BDSM you have to get the word abuse out of your vocabulary.
Between nipple clamps,floggers, gags,hooks
ect, you will experience pain. It is something you have to enjoy to do,in order to do it. Like I stated earlier and with what OBSG said, the sub is the one who is really in control. Always have a safe-word.
Which is why there are so many different opinions on the subject.
The other realm is the perfect place for you to post if interested in this sort of act, not everyone likes to read about this stuff. In another realm, there are many who have the same interest and who are always willing to help give advice.